RSP39One of the tools that has changed my life in such an amazing way…that at times it’s really hard to explain…is learning the Pain and Peace Cycle in the work of Terry Hargrave in his Restoration Therapy model. In fact, in Episode 21 of this podcast I talked about how it can change your life, your relationships, as well as church organizations and corporations. In fact, I have taught the Pain and Peace Cycle in all these settings and see it do just that…change lives.

I wanted to dive in a bit more deep on this topic, but in a short manner. The reason, I get a lot of people contacting me about what the Pain and Peace Cycle is. They see me write about it, post about it on social media, or they might have heard me speak about it in person. But it’s something I definitely talk a lot about in my work. I believe in it because I have experienced it first hand.

So this week I decided to put out a few episodes focusing on the Pain Cycle, the Peace Cycle, and how to practice it.

Today, I talk about the Pain Cycle and how you becoming aware of your own will change your life. It will change your life on both an individual and relational level.

In this episode I explore:

  • Violations of Love and Trust
  • How Violations of Love and Trust create your negative pattern of coping known as the Pain Cycle.
  • What the Pain Cycle is
  • How to identify the feelings in your Pain Cycle
  • How to identify the coping behavior in your Pain Cycle

If you want to work through this at home, here is the initial Pain Cycle homework that I give my clients and others to work through. It’s a pretty simple sheet to work on, so check it out.

Identifying and Practicing Your ‘Pain Cycle’

Please listen and subscribe to my podcast in the following places, and then leave a comment letting me know what you liked about the show, or what guest you would like to hear from. Thank you so much for your support.


Player FMLibsyn

Link to Episode 39

Resources Mentioned in this Episode

Restoration Therapy
Terry Hargrave
Marriage Strong
Sharon Hargrave
The Hideaway Experience

I am a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist in Plano, TX. I specialize in relationships, both marriage and non-marital, as well as working with individual men and women, and adolescent boys. Some of the topics that I specialize in are anxiety, depression, transitions, spiritual issues, and all forms of relational struggles. I am the author of the books The Anxious Christian, and What it Means to be a Man. Check out my weekly podcast where I interview guests and cover a lot of these same topics.

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