Transforming Your Anxiety: Stuck in a Rut

“According to recent brain studies, we are literally stuck in a rut: As a result, we choose our most instinctual coping behavior when certain feelings arise. We often choose this path because it is also the direction that confronts us with the least...

Mumford and Sons and the Apostle Paul on Boundaries

“Roll away your stone, I’ll roll away mine Together we can see what we will find.” I have had this lyric from Mumford and Sons playing around in my head for the last couple of months. Probably because those two lines remind me a lot of the concept of...

Transforming Your Anxiety: Embrace Your Anxiety

“Anxiety has been a part of our human condition from the earliest beginnings. When we experience anxiety we are in that space where a world of freedom and possibility is opened up before us by God. And in that space we have the choice to run and hide, covering...

Emotional Affair — Are You Having One?

The topic of emotional infidelity is a very common one in therapy. Sometimes the topic comes up because one spouse has a friendship with someone of the opposite sex that their other spouse feels is inappropriate…lots of texting…hanging out at work too...

What Do You Look for in a Therapist?

“Good therapists” tend to embody qualities that you would look for, perhaps, in a mentor: They believe in you and in the possibility of things going well for you, they want to hear what you have to say, and they redirect you from cynicism to hope and expectancy....

Mindfulness — Taking Time to Breathe

“Breathe…just breathe. Slow down and breathe.” I find myself repeating this phrase quite a bit in my life, but in two very different contexts. One is in my office when a client is about to be overcome by anxiety and they feel like they are about to...

Baby Steps to Self-Care

Last week I began talking about this issue of self-care in our lives. But what usually happens when I talk about this issue is that we try to take on too much too quickly. We get all excited about changing our lives — not only for ourselves — but so that...

The DIY Clear “Whiteboard”

“How did you make that clear whiteboard?” There are a lot of questions I get as a therapist, but the above question is one I get a lot of from clients…and from other therapists. I would like to say that I came up with the idea myself, but I...