by Rhett Smith | Feb 7, 2019 | Intentional Living, Podcast
As I mentioned in a previous podcast, I thought I would take some time this year (on occasion) to stop and reflect on my reading of the bible, and how it connects at the intersection of theology and psychology. So in this episode I want to take some time and just...
by Rhett Smith | Dec 3, 2015 | Marriage, Podcast, Restoration Therapy
This last week I have spent some time talking to you about the Pain Cycle and Peace Cycle in Terry Hargrave’s Restoration Therapy model. I love the Pain and Peace Cycle because it has transformed my life. It’s transformed me as an individual, as well as my...
by Rhett Smith | May 30, 2014 | Marriage
I think David Schnarch’s work on marriage and the concept of differentiation in relationships is life transforming. The idea of differentiation is not his, nor is it new. But his work Passionate Marriage has transformed my life in many ways, and continues to...
by Rhett Smith | Apr 12, 2012 | Marriage
Often in the midst of a therapy session a couple will frustratingly declare to me, “We never communicate.” The truth is that they are communicating all the time, but they just don’t like the message their partner is sending them. If my wife decides...
by Rhett Smith | Aug 16, 2011 | Marriage
[image by The Welsh Poppy] Differentiation is a natural process in committed relationships that involves developing more of a self while growing closer to your partner. Men often sacrifice their relationship to hold onto their sense of self. Women often sacrifice...
by Rhett Smith | Mar 14, 2011 | Marriage
Rainer Maria Rilke on Marriage: “The point of marriage is not to create a quick commonality by tearing down all boundaries; on the contrary, a good marriage is one in which each partner appoints the other to be the guardian of his solitude, and thus they show each...
by Rhett Smith | May 26, 2010 | Leadership
One of the topics that has been of great interest to me as of late is the idea of self-differentiation (differentiation of self). It has great interest to me in interpersonal relationships, and it has been really intriguing to me in terms of church leadership. There...
by Rhett Smith | May 19, 2010 | Marriage
[image by Jesse Millan] In the last year I have blogged on the topics of ambient intimacy/ambient awareness, as well as some of the discussion involving the use of technology in fostering intimacy. I was a big fan of this topic, and a believer in the use of technology...
by Rhett Smith | Apr 12, 2010 | Marriage
[image by Rojer] One of the things that I have come to understand more clearly about marriage affairs, has come from a result of my continual growth as a therapist working with couples, and as a result of some great insight from some mentors and authors. And this is...
by Rhett Smith | Jul 14, 2009 | Marriage
There are lots of good books on marriage, but I want to mention just six of them here that I highly recommend. And in recommending them, let me just give one brief statement of why I like them. As For Me and My House: Crafting Your Marriage to Last by Walter Wangerin...
by Rhett Smith | Jul 11, 2009 | Marriage
[image by nzgabriel] Differentiation is a natural process in committed relationships that involves developing more of a self while growing closer to your partner. Men often sacrifice their relationship to hold onto their sense of self. Women often sacrifice their...
by Rhett Smith | May 12, 2009 | Marriage
Two of my favorite poets are the German poet Rainer Maria Rilke and the Lebanese American poet Kahlil Girban. One of the things that has drawn me to these two poets, especially when they write on love and marriage is the way in which they speak of relational...
by Rhett Smith | Apr 29, 2009 | Marriage
Well known psychologist David Schnarch has a wonderful book called the Passionate Marriage: Keeping Love and Intimacy Alive in Committed Relationships. When Schnarch speaks about boundaries he speaks about differentiation. What is differentiation? In short, according...