Blogging

15 years and counting

Where I am on a journey to help you discover what it looks life to live a thriving life!

Technology: Connected, Yet Lonelier Than Ever

[image by Bidrohi Hirok] Technological Paradox One of the glaring paradoxes in my use of technology/social media, is that it has both the ability to make me feel connected and intimate with others, while at the same time feeling isolated, alienated and lonely. I think...

read more

Overlooking People in Ministry (for number’s sake)

Unfortunately, one of the ministry lessons that has been drilled into my head over the years is that numbers matter. Specifically large numbers. I was rarely asked by my supervisors how an event went, or what stories I could tell about the ministry. It always seemed...

read more

A Book Resource for Steering Through Chaos

No, the irony is not lost on me that my last post was called ENOUGH: Put Down Those Ministry and Self-Help Books and Pick Up A Novel. But remember my caveat: So you don’t have to give up on your ministry and self-help books, but put them down for a season, and pick up...

read more

The Cycle of Destruction, Praise and Redemption

I experienced lots of emotions during our time in Haiti. It felt like a roller coaster ride, and at one moment I was on the mountain top experiencing wonderful feelings of joy, and the next moment I was plummeted to the valley and felt despair. It was up and down the...

read more

Why Haiti? And What You Can Do

This last week of my life has been an unbelievable whirlwind of emotions and it's going to take a long time for me to process everything that I have witnessed. It was only two and half weeks ago that I received a phone call giving me 12 hours to see if I would be...

read more

Haiti Day #3: Stripped of Everything But God

I have always been pretty good about being self-reliant. It's an inheritenly deep American, Westernized trait that we forge our own paths, and pick ourselves up by our own bootstraps. And if you don't, then often you are left behind, or looked down upon as if you have...

read more

(Re)Birth in the Chaos of Haiti

Today has been almost indescribable. After each experience I found myself trying to process what was taking place, and just when I thought I had a good enough grasp on how to try and convey it into words -- the scene switched and a completely new experience -- a...

read more

Redemption in Haiti

Rudy was a Haitian man that we met today in a field hospital in Jiminia, Dominican Republic. He was recovering from injuries he sustained in Port-au-prince, Haiti during the January 12th earthquake. Sitting next to him is his girlfriend. Just blew my mind...there...

read more

Naked and Vulnerable: First Day in Haiti

"Prayer requires that we stand in God's presence with open hands, naked and vulnerable, proclaiming to ourselves and to others that without God we can do nothing. This is difficult in a climate where the predominant counsel is, 'Do your best and God will do the...

read more

Travel Day: Hands Open

Today was a long but amazing day so far. It started at 4:00am as I drove down the North Dallas Tollway as fresh snow was covering the road. A beautiful, but unexpected surprise. I picked up Lars Rood and we took a flight to Miami where we met the rest of our team, and...

read more

Limits On Our Knowledge of the Other Person

I think we live in a culture that likes mystery, but we don't want to go too long without that mystery being solved and unraveled so that it answers all of our questions. I can't imagine too many viewers of LOST being satisfied after this last season if the mysteries...

read more

iPhone + Ustream = Therapy on the Go

One of the things I have been thinking about for the last six months is the idea of doing therapy on the go through mobile technology. Though I believe strongly in the benefits of in person, face to face therapy, I think technology is making available new avenues for...

read more

Are You Everywhere, But Really Nowhere?

If you have been following my Twitter stream over the last week you will have noticed how much I love the new book, Introverts in the Church: Finding Our Place in an Extroverted Culture by Adam S. McHugh. I will be blogging about the book more at length in the near...

read more

Your Kids Online: What Are You Doing to Them?

[image by Zieak] Something I have been torn over for a while is the question of "How much of my daughter's life do I share online?" With blogs, Facebook, Twitter, Flickr and other services it's more convenient than ever to post photos, share little blurbs about their...

read more

The Journey Continues…A Stage Along the Way

[image by Maria Keay] For those who choose to take the journey, it is lifelong. The longer the journey, the more nuances it takes on and the more it opens up to broader experiences. Yet, a journey must progress step by step. So it is with our spiritual journey. (pp....

read more

Recap of our Cultivate Session

Tony Steward and I had the opportunity to collaborate last week at the Cultivate Conference on the following topic: Title Finding Our End // Communicating in the social web brings relationships with it. How do we care for those relationships in our limitations while...

read more

So You Have a Lot of “Friends” Online…Now What?

Tony Steward and I are super excited to be facilitating a conversation at the Cultivate Conference this upcoming Tuesday in Chicago. Ever since we were asked to facilitate jointly at the conference we have been discussing what would be the most beneficial conversation...

read more

Destigmatizing Mental Illness

I came across Bring Change 2 Mind via DJ Chuang's twitter stream. On Bring Change 2 Mind's website it states the following: 1 in 6 adults and almost 1 in 10 children suffer from a diagnosable mental illness. Yet, for many, the stigma associated with the illness, can...

read more

Are You Truly Listening to Your Spouse

[image by ky_olsen] One of the things that was sort of a wake up call for me when I got married were the number of times that I thought I was really listening to my wife, but she would retort with "you aren't listening to me." Inside, my pride was telling me that she...

read more

Reminder to Parents: Presence=LOVE

[image by Schantzilla] One of the things that I vividly remember from growing up was my father's voice calling out encouragement from the sidelines of my athletic events. It didn't matter if I was a good or bad player, or whether or not I even got in the game. My...

read more

When Kids Hurt Conference…And It’s Free!

Here is an amazing opportunity that our church, HPPC, along with some other churches are putting on for people this weekend in Dallas. I hope to see you there. "For youth pastors, volunteer leaders, and parents, When Kids Hurt challenges caring adults to help...

read more

Is Facebook Making Your Marriage Vulnerable?

[image by hikingartist] Chatter Magazine which is the great print/online monthly magazine for Irving Bible Church dedicated their October issue to technology. There are some really great articles in there like John Dyer's Stop Bringing Your Bible to Church! My...

read more

What Are You Waiting For?

  "A fifty-year-old man approached a musician and asked, 'Can you teach me to play the trombone so I can play in the town civic band and in parades and other things?" 'Sure,' the musician said. 'How long will it take?' the aspiring trombonist asked. 'Well,' the...

read more

Are You Able To Be FULLY Present To Others?

[image by mikebaird] One of the unique things about being a therapist is that it requires me to be able to be fully present to those who sit across from me in my office. No cell phone. No computer. No interruptions. No distractions. For45-50 minutes they get my full,...

read more

“Life is Short. Have an Affair.”

That is the motto that I heard coming from Noel Biderman this morning as he was a guest on The Billy Madison morning radio show. Noel Biderman is the President of the Ashley Madison agency and the creator of their website. Ashley Madison isn't the first online...

read more

Breakthrough: An Online Platform for Therapy

The world of online therapy is emerging quickly and there are a lot of tools out there to make this easier, and most importantly, secure. The AAMFT which I am a member of recently sent us out emails about a service they endorse, Therapy Hosting. This is just one of...

read more

Jethro and Moses: A Story of Self-Care

[image by marvin L] 17 Moses' father-in-law said to him, "The thing that you are doing is not good. 18 "You will surely wear out, both yourself and these people who are with you, for the task is too heavy for you; you cannot do it alone. 19 "Now listen to me: I will...

read more

Interview with Clover

I've been really impressed with Clover and the beautiful websites they have developed, and especially the intuitive ease with which they are designed...especially for those of us who don't know how to program or code. I recently sat down to interview them and to get a...

read more

Why You Should Try Running Without Music

I used to love field day back in grade school, especially the running events. Whether it was the 100 yard dash or the long distance run (usually one lap around the field) I loved running, and I often found myself throwing my head back and straining towards the finish...

read more

Anxiety

"The more original a human being is, the deeper his anxiety." Soren Kierkegaard Posted via web from Rhett Smith-Therapy

read more

Kierkegaard and Anxiety

"But attempts to evade anxiety are not only doomed to failure.  In running from anxiety you lose your most precious opportunities for the emergence of yourself, and for your education as a human being.  'If a man were a beast or an angel, he would not be...

read more

What is God’s Will for My Life

No question seems to bring up more anxiety in people’s lives than that very question. Because in that question is contained people’s anxiety over who they should marry (Because what if I don’t find my soul mate?), or what is my vocation (Because what if God really...

read more

Pushing Beyond the Limits of Your Pie

[image by net_efekt's] Marathon Training In the Spring of 2006 I had this deep yearning to run a marathon, something I had never done before, yet something I always wanted to do. Training for this marathon was going to require some shifting of things in my schedule,...

read more

Social Media and the Running of the Salmon

The Running of the Salmon When I was in high school my family and I went on an Alaskan cruise, and along the way we stopped at one of the islands to get a tour of where the salmon swim upstream during the spawning season. I don't remember a lot of details about what I...

read more

Online Therapy: What Do You Think About It?

It is often said that online therapy eliminates face-to-face contact, which is said to hinder the therapy process. Should this be the case, efficacy of treatment could be negatively impacted. There are two points to consider in this argument. This first is that with...

read more

Therapists: Putting More of Yourself Online

For lack of a better metaphor, therapy has often seemed to be this "underground entity", where at times it can be quite difficult to find a therapist. You look online and most therapists seem to not only not have a website, but finding an email address or some form of...

read more

Some Practical Tips for Dealing with Depression

If you haven't noticed yet, I have been covering the topic of depression quite a bit the last couple of weeks. This is going to be the last post on this topic for a while, but I wanted to leave you with an article that I thought had some great practical tips, and...

read more

Leading on Empty

Recently I have been very intrigued by the topic of burnout and depression in ministry, and I have been writing on the topic mainly because it seems to not only be so prevalent, but it's rarely talked about.  In fact, I would say that the symptoms (burnout and...

read more

Of Course Christians Can Be Depressed

A couple of different times this week people brought (thanks @justinwise and @witheringfig) this article to my attention, Can 'Real' Christians Be Depressed? And of course, I say EMPHATICALLY YES! (Plus, I'm not really sure what they mean by 'real' Christians...

read more

Depression: Discernment in Pastoral Caregiving

Discernment As we talk and think about the issue of depression in ministry one of the most important factors that we have in helping us determine what exactly we are dealing with is discernment. the quality of being able to grasp and comprehend what is obscure...

read more

Depression: Christians and Medication

"you may have questions about whether Christians should take this or that. You get in that state, I assure you, you will take rat dung." Pastor Tommy Nelson on his depression Why the Stigma? Let me start this post by saying this. When it comes to the issue of taking...

read more

Depression: Hope Through Hospitality

The fourth and final video I shot for LifeChurch.tv on depression aired today and is titled Finding Hope. Monday's video was An Anchor in the Journey-Exodus 17:1. Tuesday's video was Depression-At the Movies continued. Wednesday's video was Walking Through Depression....

read more

Are You Experiencing Depression?

As I mentioned yesterday, I had the opportunity to share some thoughts around depression with LifeChurch.tv. The first video, An Anchor in the Journey-Exodus 17:1 appeared yesterday, and I posted a little more details on my blog, Depression: Getting Honest With Our...

read more

Depression: Getting Honest With Our Journey

[image by Church Online] This week I have had the opportunity to share some thoughts around depression with LifeChurch.tv. You can watch the 4:34 minute video, An Anchor in the Journey-Exodus 17:1 as I talk about the importance of seeing our lives as a journey, and...

read more

Premarital Counseling: Before You Say I Do

[image by vicnknes] One of the things that I wish more couples did was seek out premarital counseling. It's quite shocking to me that very few people go through any type of premarital counseling, therapy, classes, etc. leading into their marriage. We require training...

read more

Improve Your Marriage During Tough Economic Times

[image by Stewart] I came across this post the other day, 15 Ideas To Improve Love And Marriage During Tough Economic Times. The post is actually great advice for anytime, not just hard economic times. Tess Marshall says: 80% of the people who have lost jobs are men....

read more

Book Recommendation: The Mystery of Marriage

The Mystery of Marriage: Meditations on the Miracle is a book that I read probably back in 1999, or 2000, after I was required to do a book report for one of my family counseling classes in seminary. This book was one of a handful of books recommended by my professor,...

read more

Two Questions I Have For You About Being Married

There are two questions that I often think about in terms of marriage, and it's these two same questions that I often like to ask couples...so I am going to pose them to you. Here they are: What is the most rewarding thing about being married? What is the most...

read more

Using Your Twitter Leverage for Good

Before I continue on with my current series that I started here and here, I want to post an article I just wrote for Inspiren, which is the publication for the Christian Web Conference which I will be speaking at in September. I would love any feedback that you might...

read more

6 Marriage Books That I Highly Recommend

There are lots of good books on marriage, but I want to mention just six of them here that I highly recommend. And in recommending them, let me just give one brief statement of why I like them. As For Me and My House: Crafting Your Marriage to Last by Walter Wangerin...

read more

Fun with the Online Church crew at LifeChurch.tv

Today I drove the 3 hours from Dallas, TX to Edmonds, OK to film 4 video vignettes at LifeChurch.tv with the Online Church crew. The videos will most likely air sometime next week. But for now, here's a little iPhone video Tony Steward shot with me.

read more

Four Simple Benefits of Couple’s Therapy

[image by mikebaird] Working with couples is great. With two people in the room (not including therapist/counselor) it can make for quite an interesting, interactive, and great experience. Sure, it can be hard. Tears and strong words may flow. But in the midst of that...

read more

Marriage: Freedom and Belonging

"For a person is the single most limitless entity in creation, and if there is anything that is even more unlimited and unrestrained in its possibilities than is a person, it is two people together. Not everyone is as fond of solitude as I have been. And certainly not...

read more

Are You Afraid of Marriage?

[image by makelessnoise] Yesterday I posted about therapist David Schnarch's view that marriages (committed relationships) are "people growing machines." But for us to grow in a committed relationship obviously takes a lot of work and a lot of sacrifice. It's not...

read more

“People Growing Machines”

[image by Todd Baker] For the next couple of weeks I'm going to take a look at the topic of marriage and relationships in general. One of my favorite authors on the topic of relationships/marriage is David Schnarch, author of Passionate Marriage: Keeping Love and...

read more

Our Identity in Social Media/Technology Engagement

[image by LollyKnit] Identity in Christ One of the most crucial passages of scripture in the Bible in regards to our identity is Mark 1:9-14: "9, And it came to pass in those days, that Jesus came from Nazareth of Galilee, and was baptized of John in Jordan. 10, And...

read more

Two Blogging Resources

One of the things that I want to do during these 100 posts in 100 days series is to point you to some resources (books, articles, therapists, conferences, blogs, etc.) There are some great blogs written by some great therapists out there. Two local therapists that I...

read more

The Importance of Rapport in Therapy

[image by Wrote] Rapport... "Relationship, especially one of mutual trust or emotional affinity." How important is rapport to the therapy process?  Whether it's a topic discussed in research literature, read in textbooks, or is simply anecdotal...one finds that it's...

read more

Family Holiday Traditions

[image by iChaz] We all know that holiday traditions are important to the life of a family. So as we approach the 4th of July tomorrow I have a few questions for you. What is your favorite 4th of July family tradition growing up? What's your favorite 4th of July...

read more

Book Recommendation: Therapy Demystified

Considering the posts I've written over the last week, I thought the following book would be a helpful recommendation. Therapy Demystified: An Insider's Guide to Getting the Right Help, Without Going Broke by Kate Scharff. Scharff does a good job of covering important...

read more

Feeling the Freedom to “Shop” for a Therapist

There are lots of reasons that people don't go to see a therapist (stigma, cost, location, time, etc), but I am convinced that one of the largest fears about looking for a therapist is that people are afraid that they will get stuck with a therapist they don't like or...

read more

There’s a Blog Post in Here Somewhere…

Morse Code-Leno - The funniest movie is here. Find it I was watching this video (which is a few years old), and a couple of thoughts came to mind: I was thinking about how quickly we are to announce the arrival of the latest, and the best new technology. Whether it be...

read more

When Should I Go See a Therapist?

[image by Ted Percival] This is a great question and was actually brought to my attention by a comments thread over on Facebook. In fact, one can Google this question and you will find a variety of answers, ranging from very specific things, to a more broad and...

read more

What to Look for in a Therapist

[image by Matti Mattila] Now that we have talked about how to go about finding a good therapist in the previous post, let's talk about some things you should be looking for. Now, this is going to differ based on a lot of factors, but I think most often, it will differ...

read more

How to Find a Good Therapist

I have found that there are a lot of people that are wanting to go to therapy, or at least try it out, but they are really unsure of how to go about finding a good therapist. There are several ways to go about this that I want to share with you, and then I'm curious...

read more

So What is Marriage and Family Therapy?

[image by mescon] Sometimes I get the question, "So what does a marriage and family therapist do?" It's a legit question, especially amongst some of the confusion over the differences between a psychologist, counselor, social worker, etc. There are a lot of ways I can...

read more

Nope, You Are Definitely Not Crazy…Nor Alone!

Often when people come to therapy there are a couple of things that I notice. One, some people joke with me about how they must be crazy to come to therapy. Or they are quite curious to find out if I think they are crazy. Trust me, you are not crazy. I tell them that...

read more

Is There a Therapy Stigma?

This is Post 1/100 in my 100 posts in 100 days series. [image by Vali] There is a lot to talk about in the next 100 days. Lots. So I thought it would be appropriate to start from the beginning. And by beginning I mean...the idea of going to therapy itself. If you...

read more

In Memory of Professor Ray S. Anderson (1925-2009)

One of my favorite stories that Dr. Anderson used to tell his students (and is written in the book, Dancing with Wolves, While Feeding the Sheep), is the story that is told of the connection between his farming and ministry days. Ray wrote: "It happened only once....

read more

100 Posts on the Topic of Marriage and Family Therapy

If you have been visiting this blog I really appreciate it. But you may also know that I haven't been spending much time blogging on this site as I've been pretty slow to get into gear. But I have been spending some time reflecting, trying to figure out what would be...

read more

The Beautiful and Intriguing Simplicity of Twitter

[image by Robyn Twomey] The thing about Twitter is that it is beautiful in its simplicity, and powerful in its capability. Not everyone gets it at first...or second...or third time. But if you stick with it, it will pay off for you. I was struck the other day with...

read more

Do Ministers Talk Too Much?

[image source] In the great book, The Way of the Heart: Connecting with God Through Prayer, Wisdom, and Silence by Henri Nouwen, he talks quite a bit about one's "inner fire." Last week I posted You Must Protect Your Inner Fire if You Live Online. I want to pick up on...

read more

Jack of All Trades: Interview with Ryan Burns

I've recently come to know Ryan Burns (through Twitter of course). Ryan is a great guy, and really hooked me up with Logos which is whom he works for. As I've gotten to know him a little more online, I've come to realize just how gifted he is, and how many things he...

read more

Suburban Spirituality: Don’t Knock the Suburbs

I've been reading the blogs of Joe Thorn and Steve McCoy for several years now...but in the midst of so many blogs, I just never kept up with all that they have going on. So just this week John Dyer pointed me toward their collaborative site subtext. And yeah, I know,...

read more

Suburban Spirituality: Church Shopping

[image from wearitdotcom] When someone says it better than I can, then my philosophy is...let them say it. So the following is a long quote from the article Suburban Spirituality: The land of SUV's and soccer leagues tends to weather the soul in peculiar ways, but it...

read more

Suburban Spirituality: What Is Your Mission?

[image by e453753] Over the last couple of posts I have looked at the primacy of finances and family as to reasons why people often move to the suburbs. Those are two of the reasons we consider very important as well. And let me remind my readers that suburban life is...

read more

Loving the Questions

The below quote has always been one of my favorites since I first read this amazing book in 1999. It has been a wise guide in my life, and my former classmate and friend, Bernie Newton, reminded me of it's importance in our work as therapists. The stance that Rilke...

read more

Suburban Spirituality: Church Before Family

[image by Pink Sherbert] I mentioned earlier last week that my wife and I are thinking through where we want to move in the Dallas/Ft. Worth Metroplex when our lease is up in August.  And I stated that as we contemplate this move all sorts of questions have arisen in...

read more

Suburban Spirituality: Contemplating Through a Move

[image by jdnx] Transitions I decided I wanted to write something a little more personal over the next few weeks...something that has been on my heart, raised questions, and has me awake at night...sometimes. For those of you who don't know, my wife, baby daughter and...

read more

Some Poets on Boundaries and Differentiation

Two of my favorite poets are the German poet Rainer Maria Rilke and the Lebanese American poet Kahlil Girban. One of the things that has drawn me to these two poets, especially when they write on love and marriage is the way in which they speak of relational...

read more

Relational Tension: Connectedness vs. Separateness

"Stewart and Shannon were dealing with one of the most pervasive problems of intimate partnership, the drawing of personal boundaries. Boundaries exist on two levels: behavioral and emotional. Behavioral boundaries refer to the preferred amount of togetherness in a...

read more

What Happens When You Set Boundaries in a Relationship

I've been talking briefly this last week about boundaries, especially since it is such a popular topic not only among those who go see a therapist, but it is popularized in self-help books, magazines, talk shows and about everywhere you look. Unfortunately, boundaries...

read more

Two Great Therapy Blogs

There are some great therapists out there who have a blog which I enjoy reading...and which I think you will too. Luckily for me, the two I'm highlighting today are in the Dallas-Ft.Worth Metroplex, which means I have had the opportunity to connect with them and pick...

read more

Differentiation as Boundaries

Well known psychologist David Schnarch has a wonderful book called the Passionate Marriage: Keeping Love and Intimacy Alive in Committed Relationships. When Schnarch speaks about boundaries he speaks about differentiation. What is differentiation? In short, according...

read more

Why Bivocational? 6 Reasons Why

This is a guest post by John Sampson. John is a Residence Director who supports discipleship and missional work for  Oasis Church in Pasadena, CA.  He blogs on church mission, leadership, and life at Jon Sampson. Jon also Twitters at @jonsampson. Rhett's recent post...

read more

Speaking of Boundaries…

[image by Simon Doggett] I thought this was an interesting piece out of USA Today, especially when I'm beginning a series of blog posts on the issue of boundaries in a variety of contexts. Read The Popularity of Twitter has Some Relationships in a Twist, and tell me...

read more

What Are Boundaries?

[image by The Wandering Angel] Boundaries. It's a topic that comes up quite a bit, and it comes up in a variety of contexts. The context I most often hear it in regards to relationships. Boundaries is a subject that I talk with many people about, and it's a subject...

read more

Relational Tweeting

For those of you that read my other writings online, you know that I love Twitter. I think it's an absolutely amazing tool that I think has the ability to help us connect with others in some meaningful ways. And Twitter is not just about connecting online, but it's...

read more

Bivocational Pastors Continued: Two Statements

I don't even know where to start. There were such great comments on my post from Monday. When I wrote the post I knew that I wasn't the only one thinking about this topic, but it was amazing to read some great insights that I had not thought about. A couple of things...

read more

Bivocational Pastors: Are You One?

Recently I have been thinking a lot about the topic of bivocational pastors. When I say bivocational, I mean you are a pastor, but you are not a full-time employed pastor.  Being a pastor is not your full-time vocation. There are lots of reasons I have been thinking...

read more

Launching My Private Practice

For many of you that know me, and those of you that don't, launching my own therapy private practice has been something that I have been wanting to do for quite a while. After a lot of years of work in university life, church ministry, pastoral care and non-profit...

read more

Michael Trent: What Are You Passionate About?

It was approximately three years ago that I had a phone conversation with Michael Trent. He is the "Founder and Idea Engineer" of Third Place Consulting and my church at the time had asked me if I could work with Michael on the concept for our new church coffee...

read more

The Funnel: Making Decisions Among All The Choices

So how do you make decisions when there are so many choices out there? This is the question I have been wondering a lot about. When you are presented with various opportunities, how do you determine if your choice is the right one? I've been thinking about this...

read more

The Role of Bible Technology in Shaping our Faith

More great stuff from John Dyer, BibleTech:2009-Technology is Not Neutral: How Bible Technology Shapes Our Faith. This is definitely worth your listen. Really challenged me to think about the role of technology (computer, mobile phone, tv, etc.) in my life. Technology...

read more

Good Friday: Death…Awaiting Resurrection

Painting: White Crucifixion by Marc Chagall How often have I lived through these weeks without paying much attention to penance, fasting, and prayer? How often have I missed the spiritual fruits of the season without even being aware of it? But how can I ever really...

read more

Jesse Phillips: What Are You Passionate About?

(Usually this series posts on Friday, but because of Easter weekend, I have posted early for tomorrow's reflection) I first had the opportunity to meet Jesse Phillips this last January when he was in town for the Innovation3 Gathering in Dallas. He, Scott McClellan...

read more

“How am I going to do this?”

This is a guest post by Justin Wise at BeDeviant.com. As the leader of a growing and ever-changing ministry, Immersion (we attract mostly 20- and 30-somethings), the challenges of "tending the flock" (a highly mobile flock, at that) and finding out what's going on in...

read more

Have We Lost Our Ability to Think Abstractly?

Have you lost your ability to think abstractly? That's a question I have been asking myself lately, and then I came across this quote and started thinking about it even more. While that reasoning appears sound, Hipps cites research that demonstrates television's...

read more

NO TV: 36 Days and Counting

My wife and I have been talking for months about whether or not we should get rid of our TV. And it's a slow process. It first began by reducing from two DVR's to one. Then it continued with cutting all of our cable but the bare minimum/basics so we can keep the one...

read more

Dawn Carter: What Are You Passionate About?

Who is Dawn Carter? I met Dawn online about a year and a half ago, and we soon found out that some students that I had in in the college ministry I pastored in Los Angeles, she had had in her youth group. That was our connecting point, and from there we have had the...

read more

Why I Love & Use Logos Bible Software…

As I continue to use and get more acquainted with Logos Bible Software, I will post and bring some of these things to your attention, as I hope you too may find them useful. I'm currently using the Scholar's Library and I'm amazed at how convenient and fast it has...

read more

Identity & Relationality

"The Quaker teacher Douglas Steere was fond of saying that the ancient human question 'Who am I?' leads inevitably to the equally important question, 'Whose am I?'--for there is no selfhood outside of relationship. We must ask the question of selfhood and answer it as...

read more

Jason Taylor: What Are You Passionate About?

Who Is Jason Taylor? I met Jason online of course (thank you Twitter), and I was impressed with his thoughts, and I appreciated the great comments he was leaving on my blog, and the encouragement he gave via Twitter. Jason has a varied work experience (mortgage...

read more

Identity in Weakness

This post is an ongoing reflection on the book Let Your Life Speak: Listening for the Voice of Vocation by Parker Palmer. "But he said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.' Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about...

read more

Exploring Virtual/Online Church

LifeChurch.tv Second Life Campus Tour Douglas: Is the virtual church a real/genuine church? Andrew Absolutely not. But neither is a physical gathering in a church building on a Sunday morning. The body of Christ is a spiritual aggregation of believers whose names are...

read more

Paradigm Shifting, Life Shaping Books

It seems we all like books. And we especially like making lists of books. In 2005 I wrote The Five Books I Would Recommend to a College Student...or Actually, to Anyone!, and listed in another post the Top 100 Religious Books of the 20th Century According to...

read more

Limits and Potential: Living Free Within That Tension

"Everything in the universe has a nature, which means limits as well as potentials, a truth well known by people who work daily with the things of the world. Making pottery, for example, involves more than telling the clay what to become. The clay presses back on the...

read more

Wess Daniels: What Are You Passionate About?

Who Is Wess Daniels? That's hard for me to sum up in just a few words because Wess does a lot of different things, and he does them really well. He's one of the more eclectic friends (loves technology, but also obsessed with vinyl records as of late) I have, and he's...

read more

ReThinking How We Do Conferences

A couple of months ago I started a series called ChurchTechCamp-8 Things To Know If You Want to Help Organize One. You can see my last post, with the previous posts at the bottom. I actually did have 8 posts within me, but got distracted which is easy for me to do. I...

read more

Reclaimining Our “Birthright Gifts”

"We arrive in this world with birthright gifts--then we spend the first half of our lives abandoning them or letting other disabuse us of them. As young people, we are surrounded by expectations that may have little to do with who we really are, expectations held by...

read more

First Kindle…And now Logos!

Moving from Hardcopy to Digital I first shared with you my excitement after getting the Kindle after Father's Day of 2008. For someone who loves books, lots of them, it was a huge step. Leading up to that I had been weaning my library down (from about 3-4 thousand...

read more

In Violation of our True Self

I have been returning time and time again to one of my favorite books on the topic of identity and vocation, Let Your Life Speak: Listening for the Voice of Vocation by Parker Palmer. I first read the book in 2002 when I was finishing up my M. Div. at Fuller...

read more

Matt Knisely: What Are You Passionate About?

Who Is Matt Knisely? I first met Matt at ChurchTechCamp:.Dallas after we had spent some time chatting back and forth via Twitter, later getting the chance to connect again at TrainFriday, and then just a few weeks ago we had the opportunity to reconnect in Dallas and...

read more

Emerging Into Our Identity

Emerging Adulthood I have always seemed to work with a lot of people in the midst of that life transition from college to young adult, or to what is often referred to as emerging adulthood.  So because of the extension of adolescence, and the pushing of adulthood and...

read more

Explaining Twitter…And Laughing While We Do It

Over the weekend my wife and I spent about an hour or so explaining Twitter to a couple of our friends. He is a youth minister and I was explaining not only what Twitter was, but how it might be beneficial to his ministry. The "this seems crazy" or "I'm totally out of...

read more

Tony Steward: What Are You Passionate About?

What Are You Passionate About? I like all the creative things that different bloggers are doing online to help us connect and get to know others in the online community. I love Rick Smith's "double popped" interviews and John Saddington's chats or Friday 5's, as well...

read more

Helping Your Staff Transition Through Life Stages

When I took my first full-time church job I was as 27 year old single college director. When I resigned I was a 33 year old husband and father of a baby girl. I had no idea what that stage or life transition would look like, and it was a tough one to make in ministry....

read more

Do You Have A Feedback Loop When You Speak/Preach?

I hate being captive in an audience when the people on stage don’t have a feedback loop going with the audience. We’re used to living a two-way life online and expect it when in an audience too. Our expectations of speakers and people on stage have changed, for better...

read more

Step Into Your Anxiety If You Want To Grow

Recently I have been listening to the audio version of the David Snarch's book Passionate Marriage: Sex, Love, and Intimacy in Emotionally-Committed Relationships. One of the things that he says in the lecture is (and I'm restating in my own words): That in order for...

read more

Running & Participating in the Christian Life

I absolutely love Eugene Peterson. Few theologians have the combination of brilliant insight and great writing skills like him. In his book, Eat This Book: A Conversation in the Art of Spiritual Reading there is a beautiful passage in there about running. As some of...

read more

About Rhett

I am a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (MDIV, MSMFT, LMFT), Certified Executive Coach, Speaker and Author, in private practice in Plano, TX. Read more...

Archives