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Rhett Smith Podcast 2: Transform Your Health, Fitness and Leadership — with Payan X Founder, Marc Payan
What can I say about Marc Payan? He is someone who is hard to sum up in just a few words. I first came across Marc in the online marriage and relationship space. Though we first met online I began to occasionally see Marc in person and I have really been inspired by...
Rhett Smith Podcast 1: Exploring the Intersection of Self-Care and Relationships
I have been dreaming and thinking about starting a podcast for about two years, but just never got around to it. As much as I wanted to start it, life just got in the way. Work has been busy in my private practice, as well as speaking and writing. And then there is...
Scary Close: My 4 Part Video Book Review of Donald Miller’s New Book
Back in the beginning of December, my friend Tyler Davis Jones mailed me a copy of Donald Miller's new book Scary Close: Dropping the Act and Finding True Intimacy. Tyler picked it up at the Storyline Conference he attended. I was so thankful to get this great gift...
A Gift Idea on How to Intentionally Create Presence in Your Marriage
One of the things that I became really convicted about in 2014 was my lack of being present. Present to my own life. Present to friends. Present to my kids. Present to my wife. And by present, I mean emotionally engaged and available to people in my life. Instead I...
Opening a Second Office Location in Frisco!!!
Starting Monday, November 10, I will be practicing in both Plano and Frisco. Over the last several years my practice has experienced incredible growth, especially from people coming down to Plano from Frisco, Prosper, McKinney and Allen. In order to better accommodate...
Two Technology Tips That Will Transform Your Relationships
I love technology. Cue Napoleon Dynamite. Technology has helped me connect to some amazing people and transformed a lot of the way that I work, write, speak, etc. But technology has also come at a cost. Many times it has left me feeling more stressed out and anxious....
Redefining Masculinity Around Relationships
Last month I wrote a blog and shot a video called Two Words You Should Never Tell a Boy. The two words I was referring to are "stop crying." It's a message that is devastating to boys and leads to lots of other problems for them in the future. Problems that I see...
How to Build a Thriving Therapy Practice: To Take, or Not to Take Insurance?
Do you take insurance? This is one of the questions I get most often. And I hear it from both potential clients and therapists in the field. The simple answer is that I do not take insurance. I have never taken insurance...and at this point in my practice I have no...
‘Oneness’: When Two Become Three
I've been thinking a lot about marriage these last few weeks for several reasons. Whether it is with the couples I work with, or my own personal marriage...I have come to realize that we just can't do marriage on our own. We can throw all the tools at it we want, but...
Men: Are You a Relational Hero?
"Each man is a bridge, spanning in his lifetime all of the images and traditions about masculinity inherited from past generations and bestowing--or inflicting--his own retelling of the tale on those who ensue. Unresolved depression often passes from father to son,...
Difference Between Studying and Reading the Bible
When I work with people in therapy we often talk about the importance of being physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually healthy. And one of the primary ways that many people who foster their spiritual growth is through their participation in the Bible. That...
Do You and Your Spouse Need a Marriage Intensive?
I wish couples would go to counseling on a regular basis as a part of their commitment to being intentional in their marriage. I wish couples would go when their marriage was in a good spot, so that they can take it to an even greater spot. But the reality is, in my...
Leadership and Relationships: Creating Safety
"Weak leaders are the ones who only extend the benefits of the Circle of Safety to their fellow senior executives and a chosen few others. They look out for each other, but they do not offer the same considerations to those outside their 'inner circle.' Without the...
Exclusion as a Violation of the Self
Last week I came across this article that stated, being ignored is worse than being bullied. I had to stop and think about that statement for a second. Nevermind the article and the research, I wanted to just think about that statement, especially since we hear so...
“Ruthlessly Eliminate Hurry”
Not long after moving to Chicago, I called a wise friend to ask for some spiritual direction. I described the pace of life in my current ministry. The church where I serve tends to move at a fast clip. I also told him about our rhythms of family life: we are in the...
Runnning as a Meditative and Prayerful Practice
In yesterday's post Running as an Antidote for Anxiety and Depression, I told you about why I love running and how it has transformed my life. One aspect that I didn't tell you about is how running not only helps with my anxiety and depression, but it's a great...
Running as an Antidote for Anxiety and Depression
I love running! It has completely changed my life. I have loved running since I was a little kid. I loved running and playing with friends. I loved field day and running the sprints and the longer races. I ran track in high school. But somewhere along the way running...
“What’s the Difference Between Anxiety and Worry?”
"What's the difference between anxiety and worry?" That was the question posed to me the other day. It's such a great question, and honestly, I don't know if anyone has ever asked me that question before, which is sort of surprising in light of all the talk on worry...
How to Build a Thriving Therapy Practice: Identifying Your Ideal Client
When I was fresh out of graduate school I was so eager to get my hours, gain experience, and actually make some money for a change that I was willing to work with anyone. Many of you can probably relate to that. And in those first few years of working on my hours I...
Marriage Counseling: Sometimes Men and Women Need to Laugh at Their Differences
I love working with couples in marriage counseling, pre-marital counseling, dating...it's often a lot of fun. This video reminds me of how funny our differences as men and women can be. They are often very painful. But hopefully we can laugh at ourselves sometimes....
What Are You and Your Spouse Really Fighting About?
I've posted before that when couples fight, the argument is rarely about the issue. We think we are talking about money. Or sex. Or parenting. Or in-laws. But it rarely is about those things. Before long (usually within a few seconds) we are questioning whether or not...
How to Build a Thriving Therapy Practice: Office Space
One of the first things that people do when they walk into my therapy office is comment how nice it is. They talk about how relaxing it feels...often finishing their observations with a comment something along the lines of "it doesn't even feel like I'm coming to...
Healing Our Disconnection
"I want to think more about what connecting is and why I believe it is at the center of powerful relationships. If connecting is at the center of healing, then disconnecting must be at the core of what needs healing. In our therapeutic way of thinking, we're more...
The Importance of Breath Work in Dealing With Our Anxiety
One of the most important tools in helping anxiety is often one of the most underrated and underutilized. And that is breathing. And I think it's often overlooked because we take breathing for granted. It's something we do all day long without much thought. So the...
Ever Have Trouble Putting Your Phone Down to be Present With Others?
I think we can all can agree that technology is a huge influence in the shaping of our lives and relationships. That's why I'm a huge believer in placing healthy boundaries around our technology. It's something I have been writing about for about 6 years, especially...
Texting: The Future of Therapy?
Compared with finding a therapist in a big city, signing up for text-message therapy was a breeze. All I had to do was open an app on my phone, pick a username, and type my first message. Predictably, the first thing I wrote my new therapist was a question: "Hi. How...
Two Words You Should Never Tell a Boy…..
"If you cry again I am going to take you back home!" That is what I told my almost 4 year old son on Wednesday night around 8:00pm. We were riding bikes and he was in that overtired state where he could hardly contain his emotions. He was crying. He was whining at his...
Don’t Wait for Your Job to Do Self-Care for You! It Starts With You
One of the core beliefs that I have as a therapist is that people have to address four areas of their lives: physical, emotional, mental and spiritual. I talk about this with all my clients and in the talks I give. And I practice this in my own life. Do you address...
How to Build a Thriving Therapy Practice: Location, Location, Location
When I ran a survey a couple of weeks ago, most of the survey results from therapists and graduate students expressed their concern and desire about "how to find clients." Almost no one expressed an interest in the location of building a practice or the office space...
Terry Hargrave on Couple’s Therapy and Changing our Brain
Four years ago I was presented with an amazing opportunity that changed the way I thought about marriage (my own and the couples I work with), and how I work with couple's in a therapeutic context. I went up to The Hideaway Experience in Amarillo, Texas to observe a...
How Your Self-Reactivity Harms Relationships
"Somehow, even though we know that certain thoughts and behaviors are bad for us and are rooted in our own self-reactivity [negative patterns of coping], we return to those behaviors and usually find that these actions further assault our identities as human beings...
A Nagging Spouse May Lead to an Early Death, But There is a Healthier Way to Change Your Marital Interaction
It's not unusual that I hear men in therapy say to their wife in session, "Stop nagging me." I even came across this study and news story this month -- Study: Nagging By A Spouse Could Shorten Your Life -- The study states: But now a new study suggests husbands of...
Can You Stand on Your Own Two Feet in a Relationship?
I think David Schnarch's work on marriage and the concept of differentiation in relationships is life transforming. The idea of differentiation is not his, nor is it new. But his work Passionate Marriage has transformed my life in many ways, and continues to transform...
What Thinking Patterns Fuel Your Anxiety
“The average high school kid today has the same level of anxiety as the average psychiatric patient in the early 1950’s.” (Dr. Richard Leahy -- quoted by Mick Ukleja in the article 7 Thinking Patterns That Contribute to Anxiety) Many of you know that I believe anxiety...
Anxiety Reimagined: Could Anxiety Be a Friend in Your Life to Help You Grow?
"If God had not meant for me to be anxious, then He would have called me to some other vocation that didn't require weekly preaching, an activity that was a constant reminder of my ongoing struggle with stuttering. What if, instead, God wanted me to be anxious? What...
How to Build a Thriving Therapy Practice: Walking the Business and Vocation Tightrope
[This is my fourth post in a series about building a thriving therapy practice. Check out the earlier posts here, here and here]. I have always loved helping people. It is something that I feel passionate about. I heard early on that it was a "calling" of mine and...
Stuck in an Anxiety Rut
"Looking back at our families of origin and remembering these details can be a scary process for many people. Sometimes we are not quite sure what we will discover or remember, and that can leave us feeling anxious. That is normal. When we look back, and really try to...
How to Build a Thriving Therapy Practice: Give Yourself 5 Years
One of the things that my colleagues and I are constantly joking...and sometimes lamenting about -- is that most graduate programs in therapy and counseling don't teach you anything about the actual business application of what you have just spent the last 2-5 years...
Welcoming the Uncertainty in Your Life That Anxiety Often Creates
"The truth is that our finest moments are most likely to occur when we are feeling deeply uncomfortable, unhappy, or unfulfilled. For it is only in such moments, propelled by our discomfort, that we are likely to step out of our ruts and start searching for different...
How to Build a Thriving Therapy Practice: Become Clear About Yourself and Your Work
Last week I started a new blog series on Building a Thriving Therapy Practice. I will be completely honest with you. I don't consider myself the expert on this topic. No surprise there. I haven't written any books on it. If that's what you want, Lynn Grodzki's books...
Embracing Our Anxiety
I firmly believe as I have stated in many places, that our anxiety is a great opportunity for our growth. One of the first chapters in my book is about this idea of "embracing anxiety." I know that anxiety can come in many forms and whatever you are experiencing, I...
How to Build a Thriving Therapy Practice
It is not unusual for me to get about 5-6 messages a month from people who want to meet up either in person, or on the phone, to talk about building a therapy practice. For whatever reason these people have found what I'm doing as a therapist in private practice...
My Journey with Anxiety — What is Your Journey?
I have had a long journey with anxiety. And I can honestly say that I'm thankful for the anxiety that I have wrestled with. I don't think I could, or would have said that while in the midst of my journey. But at times I can step back from it, gain some perspective --...
The Adventure of Anxiety…
"Learning to know anxiety is an adventure which every man has to affront if he would not go to perdition either by not having known anxiety or by sinking under it. He therefore who has leaned rightly to be in anxiety has learned the most important thing." —Søren...
Are You Feeling Anxious or Depressed?
Since Mental Health month is this month, I want to encourage you in two ways: If you find yourself feeling anxious or depressed, I really encourage you to reach out and get the help that you need. If you know someone who is feeling anxious or depressed, I encourage...
Talking About Mental Health in the Church
Unless you have either experienced anxiety and depression yourself, or have sat present with those who have, then it's pretty easy for us to make trite comments or give cliche answers to those around us. This is probably the single reason why I wrote The Anxious...
What is your anxiety cutting you off from in your life?
When I was 11 years old and began to experience traumatic grief from the death of my mom from breast cancer after a five-year battle -- my anxiety manifested itself in the form of stuttering. And stuttering, or my fear of making a fool of myself in front of my...
Four possibilities that your anxiety could be a symptom of?
Did you know that anxiety is the most common mental illness in the United States for people age 18 and over? Or that affects 40 million adults (18% of the US population)? Did you know that only 1/3 of people who struggle with anxiety actually get help? And that women...
Be the ‘Life-Giving’ Man That You and Others Deserve
Are you a 'life-giving' man? That is a question that I am often asked. It's a term that I began to talk about in my last book, What it Means to be a Man. But I've begun to explore it more fully in the last 6 months and it is the focus of my online program for men....
Are you feeling burned out? Try self-care.
I just made it through a season where at moments I felt like I was on the verge of burnout. It just felt like a period of time when really big stuff...stuff bigger than usual was being juggled, and I was doing my best not to drop everything. Some of those things were:...
3 Things to Practice When Taking the Risk to Ask for What You Desire in Your Relationship
I've been working with couples for a long time. And one of the most frighteningly, vulnerable moments that I watch most couples experiencing -- is that moment when they have to take the risk and ask their partner for what they need/want/desire in the relationship....
Sex, Intimacy and Belonging in Marriage
"A sociologist once observed that the prevalence of intimacy themes in mass media, pop psychology, and 'alternative lifestyles' suggests that were driven by hunger for intimate union. It may look like this on the surface, but my clinical work helped me realize that...
Why Ministry Leaders Don’t Get the Help They Need! (And What They Can Do About It)
I've grown up in the Church (son of church planters, pastor, spiritual director, chaplain). I've participated and volunteered in the Church my entire life. I've been on staff of churches for about 15 years. I love ministry, but I also know there are some inherent...
One Thing You Can Start Doing Now to Instantly Improve Your Marriage……
Sometimes I'm hesitant to bring this subject up because in the past it has sometimes been met with resistance and people making comments that I'm talking in generalizations, or anti-technology, some sort of luddite. Truth be told. I'm writing this post more for myself...
No Weak Men Allowed…..
No Weak Men Allowed....I think that is the message that men hear from the time they are little boys all the way through the rest of their lives. I know I have heard that message. I know the men I work with have heard that message. It may come from parents,...
Why Do So Many Ministry Leaders Who (Need) Desire Help…Refuse to Reach Out for Help?
Honestly, this is a question I have been wondering about for a long time. The irony of the work that I do as a therapist is that ministry leaders are one of the biggest referrers to my practice. They often instinctively see someone who is hurting and in need of help,...
The Imminent Threat to a Pastor’s Marriage
About 8 years ago I was sitting in a marriage and family therapy class at Fuller Theological Seminary when the professor made an off the cuff remark about the marital satisfaction of a pastor and their spouse. The professor's experience was that pastors (in this case...
I’m Looking for Some Life-Giving Men!!! (Are You One of Them?)
Next Tuesday at 1pm Central(11amPST/2pmEST) I am very excited to be bringing you my webinar, 3 Simple Steps That Transform a Man's Potential to Live a Connected and Thriving Life!!!. I have been working with men for a very long time in all kinds of settings --...
Are You a Man Who Gives Life to Those Around You? Or One Who Destroys It?
"Everyone one of you when you walk into a room can probably tell the difference between a man who is life-giving. That is, he essentially breathes life into other people. He is encouraging, passionate, listening. You know what that looks and feels like, right?" The...
“Marriage Books” That Will Change Your Life!!!
With so many marriage books out there, how do you know which books to choose from?
Last month I wrote a post asking you about what marriage books changed your life. I mentioned in the post that two and half years ago I wrote a post about the premarital books I recommend to couples.
Book Review — Love to Stay: Sex, Grace and Commitment by Adam Hamilton
"There lies within the heart of most human beings a deep longing for close companionship with another--one who like us, yet mysteriously and sometimes maddeningly different from us. That heartfelt urge has been there from the beginning, and most of us feel it long...
The 12 Whole-Brain Child Strategies That Can Revolutionize Your Parenting (And You)
So I had no idea that when I set out to do a blog series about The Whole-Brain Child: 12 Revolutionary Strategies to Nurture Your Child's Developing Mind by Daniel Siegel and Tina Payne Bryson -- that I would write 20 posts on the topic. But that's exactly what...
Whole-Brain Child Strategy #12: “Connection Through Conflict: Teach Kids to Argue with a ‘We’ in Mind”
We've come to the final strategy in The Whole-Brain Child book by Daniel Siegel and Tina Payne Bryson, and I really love how they ended the book. I love it because it really resonates with the marital work that I do and stressing the importance of this 'we.' At The...
Whole-Brain Child Strategy #11: “Increase the Family Fun Factor: Making a Point to Enjoy Each Other”
"The brain is a social organ, made to be in relationship. It's hardwired to take in signals from the social environment, which in turn influence a person's inner world. In other words, what happens between brains has a great deal to do with what happens within each...
Whole-Brain Child Strategy #10: “Exercise Mindsight: Getting Back Into the Hub”
Earlier in Chapter 5 of The Whole-Brain Child, authors Daniel Siegel and Tina Payne Bryson talked a lot about awareness and helping a child stay in their hub, where they have the ability to bring awareness to what they focus on. From that central place (i.e. hub), a...
Whole-Brain Child Strategy #9: “SIFT: Paying Attention to What’s Going on Inside”
Let's be honest, sometimes I just don't know the right questions to ask my kids when I want to better understand what they are feeling. Heck, many times I don't know what I'm feeling myself so it's hard to elicit a response from others, especially our kids. In...
Whole-Brain Strategy #8: “Let the Clouds of Emotions Roll By: Teaching That Feelings Come and Go”
"It's very important that kids learn about and understand their feelings. But it's also true that feelings need to be recognized for what they are: temporary, changing conditions. They are states, not traits...... So we have to help them understand that feelings are...
Whole-Brain Child Strategy #7: “Remember to Remember: Making Recollection a Part of Your Family’s Daily Life”
I am a talker. I talk and talk and talk. Just ask my wife. Maybe it's because I sit and listen all day to others talk. But really, I have always been a talker. I remember as a little kid talking to my mom and dad endlessly. In fact, I have one memory of driving with...
Whole-Brain Child Strategy #6: “Use the Remote of the Mind: Replaying Memories”
Have you ever noticed how much your children love telling stories? My daughter and son love telling me stories about their adventures each day, whether it be an activity my daughter did during P.E., or my son talking to me about a crash he had on his scooter. It seems...
Whole-Brain Child Strategy #5: “Move It or Lose It: Moving the Body to Avoid Losing the Mind”
"Daddy, I want to run!" That was the phrase that came out of my son's mouth before we played the above game of chase on the beach...and this has been his repeated phrase of the last couple of months. It began on our 15.5 hour road trip to Florida. A road trip that I...
Whole-Brain Child Strategy #4: “Use It or Lose It: Exercising the Upstairs Brain”
This last week we talked about the importance of integrating the upstairs brain with the downstairs brain, and strategy #4 continues with along this same theme. I love the idea in The Whole-Brain Child that "The upstairs brain is like a muscle; when it gets used, it...
Using the Hand Model of the Brain with Your Kids
I've been talking a lot about the brain in my blog series on The Whole-Brain Child, so I thought it would be helpful to see a simple presentation by Dr. Dan Siegel where he presents a hand model of the brain. I think this will be especially helpful in light of my post...
Whole-Brain Child Strategy #3: “Engage, Don’t Enrage: Appealing to the Upstairs Brain”
Have you ever found yourself in the unenviable position of trying to rationalize and negotiate with your toddler who is having an emotional meltdown? All hands should go up. I mean how many of us haven't found ourselves desperately trying to stave off a meltdown in...
Marriage Books That Will Change Your Life
I often get asked about the marriage books I would recommend for couples to read. In this series I will discuss the ten books that I recommend on marriage.
Revisiting Strategy #2 of The Whole-Brain Child
Last week I posted on Strategy #2 of The Whole-Brain Child, which is Name it to Tame It: Telling Stories to Calm Big Emotions. But since I posted that blog I've had a few people ask me if I could expound on this strategy in more detail by giving an example. As I...
Whole-Brain Child Strategy #2: “Name it to Tame It: Telling Stories to Calm Big Emotions”
This is the 7th post in my ongoing series on the book, The Whole-Brain Child by Daniel Siegel and Tina Payne Bryson. Today we look at strategy #2.
Whole-Brain Child Strategy #1: “Connect and Redirect: Surfing Emotional Waves”
My wife Heather and I often look at things from a very different perspective. It's not surprising that opposites attract, but sometimes those opposites can begin to push people in two different directions. It didn't take us very long into our dating life to realize...
Brain Integration: Finding the Balance Between Chaos and Rigidity
Integrated: to make into a whole by bringing all parts together; unify. When things become integrated, is simply known as integration. In the Whole-Brain Child by Dan Siegel and Tina Payne Bryson, this process refers to a child's ability to integrate the...
Brain Plasticity: In What Ways Are You Molding Your Child’s Brain?
I used to believe that our brain was permanently hardwired and that was that. And however it was hardwired, then you were stuck with that brain. It wasn't until I started working as a therapist at The Hideaway Experience marriage intensives and was exposed to their 5...
Vocation: What/Who is Summoning You?
For the last seven to eight years I've really been exploring this idea of vocation, and it seems that it is a topic that I've had more and more conversations with people as of late. In fact, I blogged on this topic just a couple of months ago. In my opinion, still one...
Parenting with the Brain in Mind (Our Kid’s and Ours)
Last week I began a blog series exploring my experimentation with the parenting philosophy found in the book, The Whole Brain Child: 12 Revolutionary Strategies to Nurture Your Child's Developing Mind. And by experimentation, I mean using the ideas in the book in both...
The Whole-Brain Child: Parents, How is Your Brain Functioning?
"As children develop, their brains "mirror" their parent's brains. In other words, the parent's own growth and development, or lack of those, impact the child's brain. As parents become more aware and emotionally healthy, their children reap the rewards and move...
My Experiment in Learning and Implementing ‘The Whole-Brain Child Approach’ to Parenting
Over the years there have been a lot of books that have been influential in my life and work on the topic of parenting. Whether I am navigating my own parenting with my three year old boy and my soon to be six year old daughter, teaching a parenting seminar, or...
Question: What does it mean to be a man?
What does it mean to be a man? Moody Publishers hit the streets to ask people this very question.
The Marital Tension of Come Close, Get Away
When a couple is first married it is often not long before they find themselves wrestling with the tension of desiring to be both dependent and independent in the relationship.
The Journey of Forgiveness
Though forgiveness is a journey that rarely boils down to steps, there are some specific guidelines that can help couples navigate the forgiveness process.
Fathers: How Much Time Do You Spend With Your Kids?
As couples constantly negotiate their roles as parents and workers the amount of time that fathers spend with their children has tripled over the last three decades.
The Meaning of a Word is “Embedded in the Story”?
"Dictionaries are wonderful tools and we would be the poorer without them, but in Gospel matters they are among the lesser helps. The reason is that everything in the Gospel is personal, relational, and embodied in particulars. There are no generalities. Every word is...
Video: “What it Means to be a Man” — Chapter 1: The Making of Men
This video introduction to my book, What it Means to be a Man: God’s Design for Us in a World Full of Extremes, explores the four basic male archetypes that are most often found in literature and culture.
Freedom: Lessons from 2 Years of Being Debt Free
My wife and I are celebrating two years of being debt free. It has been an incredible journey of ups and downs, but I want to share with you some of the ways we went about it as well as the lessons we have learned in the process.
Thoughts on the Connection Between Passion, Limits and Vocation….
There is a deep connection between what we are passionate about and our vocation. But part of finding true vocation is also acknowledging the limits that our passion brings us up against.
Putting Down Our Masks: Living Authentically So Others Can See God in Our Lives
When we put down our masks that we hide behind, we are able to live an authentic life where our true self emerges. And when we live out of this true self we are examples that allow others to see God in our midst…in the midst of our ups and downs…achievements and failures…good and bad times.
Is the Amount of Activities Your Kids Are Involved in Contributing To Your Marital Drift
If couple’s aren’t careful about the amount of kid activities they allow into their family life, they can begin to experience marital drift.
Making Friends With Your Anxiety
Today I wrote a guest post on author Ally Vesterfelt’s blog, “What if You And Your Anxiety Were…Friends?”
How the Confluence of Pornography and Technology is Re-Wiring Our Brains
The below TEDx talk was recommended to me by some marriage therapists that I network with. I work with a lot of clients who are struggling with porn or who have a porn addiction. And there is a lot of topics covered in this video. What I find fascinating is the...
Video Introduction to “What it Means to be a Man”
This video is an Introduction into my new book, What it Means to be a Man. Learn more about why I wrote the book, who I wrote the book for, and how the book can best be used.
“What it Means to be a Man” — Officially Out Today
Today is the official launch of my new book, What it Means to be a Man: God’s Design for Us in a World Full of Extremes.
“What it Means to be a Man”: A Primer for Men on Manhood and an Insightful Book for Women
The book What it Means to be a Man is essentially a primer for men on manhood, but it also the perfect reading companion for adolescent boys and women as you will see below.
“What it Means to be a Man” Book Trailer
Check out the book trailer for my new book, What it Means to be a Man: God’s Design for Us in a World Full of Extremes.
Shutting Down Boy’s Emotions
m currently working on an article for the Fuller Youth Institute on boys and emotions — more specifically how we as a culture tend to sabotage boy’s emotions — making it unsafe for them to express[…]
Transforming Your Anxiety: Final Thoughts and Resources
I'm a huge believer in the good that can come out of our anxiety. I believe that we too often dismiss anxiety as something bad. We are too quick to try and get over it, or bury it, or pretend it doesn't exist...all things that can lead to high levels of unhealthy...
Men’s Disconnect with Vulnerability and Connection
The above is a quote from Chapter 8 in my new book (coming out May 1) What it Means to be a Man: God's Design for Us in a World Full of Extremes. Vulnerability is one of the major themes that has emerged over the last 18 years in my work with men. Many men want...
Transforming Your Anxiety: Anxiety in Relationships
"When we can stand face-to-face with another human being in all of our anxiety, and we don't have to try to run or hide from it, that is the beginning of a true relational connection." One of the areas of life that we often tend to experience the most anxiety is in...
Grandiosity: Terrence Real on Working with Men in Therapy
To understand the importance of leverage, you have to understand grandiosity, especially male grandiosity. Therapy and self-help have mostly focused on helping people come up from a one-down position of shame. But we don’t really talk much about what it means to help people come down from the one-up position of grandiosity. This is really pivotal in terms of working with men, because they typically tend to lead from the one-up, grandiose position, while women present in the more one-down, victim position.
Tranforming Your Anxiety: Boundaries and Living Within Your Limits
A few weeks ago I spoke to college students at Southern Methodist University in Dallas, Texas. I love speaking to and working with college students. It’s such an amazing time of life…so many opportunities and roads to journey down, but also lots of fear and anxiety over which possibility to choose and which road to journey on. It’s a perfect collision of feeling excited and scared at the same time. I think that’s why I loved being the college pastor for seven years at Bel Air Presbyterian Church in Los Angeles. It was an amazing experience to work with students at UCLA, USC, LMU and a number of other schools…as well as the large number of college-aged people in the entertainment industry.
The Corrosiveness of Contempt in Marriage (John Gottman)
In this clip, marriage researcher and therapist John Gottman talks about the "four horsemen of the apocalypse" -- which are predictors of divorce. In this video he deals specifically with the issue of contempt. Gottman states that not only is contempt corrosive of...
Transforming Your Anxiety: Getting Intentional
“Do you want your marriage to get well?” is the question we ask the four couples that are present. Just because they are there doesn’t mean they want their marriage to get well.
I used to think that the question Jesus posed to the man at the pool was a dumb question. It just didn’t make sense to me.
Are You Spread Too Thin? Going in Too Many Different Directions?
Most of us in fact, never “get it together!” We never get ourselves together. Instead we go through life frustrated and dissipated, letting our restless energies push us in one direction, then in another, never quite able to settle down, to figure out what we want to...
Parker Palmer on Ground Rules in “Maintaining Safe Space for the Soul”
Parker Palmer has written one of my all-time favorite books -- one that I re-read every year -- Let Your Life Speak: Listening for the Voice of Vocation. Powerful...powerful book, and one that I have written on quite a bit over the years.
Fathers, What Kind of Energy Do You Pass on to Your Sons?
"When a father tells a child that he can do something, he can do it. I don't know why that is, except to say that there is some mysterious energy that passes from the male to his children. It is some sort of creative energy that can make things be when they are not,...
Transforming Your Anxiety: Wrestling with God
"In many circumstances, as we experience anxiety, we may be tempted not to face it. We may be tempted to turn the other way and not acknowledge that it is there. But if God uses anxiety in our lives as a way to help us grow, then we must not turn away from it....
“You…We are the Beloved sons and daughters of God.” — Henri Nouwen
I love this video clip of Henri Nouwen preaching (this is a short clip -- 8 minutes and 55 seconds -- well worth your time). His many books have been influential in my personal life and in my work as a pastor and therapist. Here we get a good sense of what it means to...
Unfortunately, Sometimes Being a Boy is Not Emotionally Safe…
“Little boys and little girls start off with similar psychological profiles. They are equally emotional, expressive, and dependent, equally desirous of physical affection. At the youngest ages, both boys and girls are more like a stereotypical girl. If any differences...
Transforming Your Anxiety: Beginning to ReImagine Your Anxiety as Good
"Anxiety is the dizziness of freedom." -- Soren Kierkegaard in The Concept of Anxiety When I first read those words from the existential philosopher Soren Kierkegaard my heart literally leapt out of my chest. Finally a statement that resonated a lot with what I had...
How You React When Upset Inhibits Relational Intimacy
"Thanks to a series of influential research studies, the things people who succeed in intimate relationships do differently from those who fail have been discovered by researchers. One of the most important differences involves how people react when they feel...
Transforming Your Anxiety: Stuck in a Rut
"According to recent brain studies, we are literally stuck in a rut: As a result, we choose our most instinctual coping behavior when certain feelings arise. We often choose this path because it is also the direction that confronts us with the least anxiety."(The...
How the Integration of Theology and Psychology Can Transform People’s Lives
One of the books that I have really enjoyed reading over the years because of my interest in the integration of theology and psychology, especially pertaining to pastoral counseling in the context of the Christian community is Theology and Pastoral Counseling: A New...
Transforming Your Anxiety: Welcoming Uncertainty Into Your Life
"One of the reasons we experience anxiety is that God is persistently trying to move us through the wilderness, because it is in the wilderness that we are most dependent up on Him." (The Anxious Christian, pp. 45). About 15 years while I was reading through the book...
Mumford and Sons and the Apostle Paul on Boundaries
"Roll away your stone, I'll roll away mine Together we can see what we will find." I have had this lyric from Mumford and Sons playing around in my head for the last couple of months. Probably because those two lines remind me a lot of the concept of boundaries and...
Transforming Your Anxiety: Embrace Your Anxiety
"Anxiety has been a part of our human condition from the earliest beginnings. When we experience anxiety we are in that space where a world of freedom and possibility is opened up before us by God. And in that space we have the choice to run and hide, covering up in...
Emotional Affair — Are You Having One?
The topic of emotional infidelity is a very common one in therapy. Sometimes the topic comes up because one spouse has a friendship with someone of the opposite sex that their other spouse feels is inappropriate...lots of texting...hanging out at work too...
Transforming Your Anxiety: Anxiety and Your Story
Every anxiety has a story attached to it. There are many stories to my anxiety, but The Story that I tell and that has most often come to define my struggle with anxiety is a story about "The Day I Became a Stutterer." I write about this story in the introduction to...
Are You One of the 60% of Americans Who Struggle with Anxiety? And is That a Sin?
While away on Spring Break this week with my family I received a text from a good friend telling me that the latest data from The Barna Group suggests that 60% of Americans struggle with anxiety. In their latest research, New Research Explores the Changing Shape of...
Epic Podcast Interview with Rich Roll and Byron Davis
As I have mentioned before, I'm totally digging the Rich Roll Podcast. Just ask my wife -- every time I listen to one, the first words out of my mouth are "you have got to listen to this interview." The podcasts assemble a wide variety of people from athletes,...
What Do You Look for in a Therapist?
“Good therapists” tend to embody qualities that you would look for, perhaps, in a mentor: They believe in you and in the possibility of things going well for you, they want to hear what you have to say, and they redirect you from cynicism to hope and expectancy....
Mindfulness — Presence and Curiosity in Conversation
In my newsletter this month I made a plea to my readers to simply "Be Present and Be Curious" with themselves and their relationships. Doing those two things can reap huge rewards in relationships such as connection, intimacy and understanding. And so today, I want to...
Mindfulness — Connecting Breathe to Our Prayer
In the last couple of posts I've been talking about the importance of focusing on your breath as it relates to being more mindful -- paying attention to your life. It's a practice that is overlooked, but I think that is essential to being more attune to each moment....
Mindfulness — Taking Time to Breathe
"Breathe...just breathe. Slow down and breathe." I find myself repeating this phrase quite a bit in my life, but in two very different contexts. One is in my office when a client is about to be overcome by anxiety and they feel like they are about to succumb to a...
Mindfulness — Paying Attention to Your Life
"Mindfulness is basically just a particular way of paying attention. It is a way of looking deeply into oneself in the full spirit of self-inquiry and self-understanding." Full Catastrophe Living: Using the Wisdom of Your Body and Mind to Face Stress, Pain, and...
Have You Talked With Your Kids Yet About Their Digital Footprint?
This is an interesting question that Jon Acuff raises for us who are parenting in the "digital age." It's a discussion that I have had with many parents in the parenting classes that I teach on technology, social media, and parenting. What thoughts do you have on this...
How Much TV Do You Watch? How Much Internet Do You Surf?
How much TV do you watch? How much internet do you surf? That's one of the first questions I ask people when they tell me that they don't have enough time to practice self-care in their lives. We looked at what self-care is and isn't last week, and yesterday I talked...
Baby Steps to Self-Care
Last week I began talking about this issue of self-care in our lives. But what usually happens when I talk about this issue is that we try to take on too much too quickly. We get all excited about changing our lives -- not only for ourselves -- but so that we can be...
Finding Ultra — Conversations on Self-Care
Last Friday I briefly touched on the topic of self-care because I think it is a super important issue. I know that in my work just as a marriage and family therapist, that one of the main issues that keeps couples in an endless loop of conflict is their inability to...
Self-Care: Four Areas to Foster in Order to be Life-Giving to Others
In my work as a therapist I talk a lot about self-care. But self-care tends to be a confusing term for many people. We can define it in many ways, but a couple of definitions that I have referred to recently are the following: "The process of managing responses to...
Have you tried befriending ambiguity (i.e. anxiety) in your life?
"Most of the things in life you truly care about are likely to be very ambiguous, and if you can't foster some ability to make a place for ambiguity, you're likely to be doomed to an act in the service of its elimination--which is really a fancy and roundabout way of...
The DIY Clear “Whiteboard”
"How did you make that clear whiteboard?" There are a lot of questions I get as a therapist, but the above question is one I get a lot of from clients...and from other therapists. I would like to say that I came up with the idea myself, but I didn't. Rather, my good...
Short & Simple: Why Your Family Should Use The 3 Big Questions for a Frantic Family
Short...Simple...Quick...Easy to Implement. If someone asks me about trying to use Patrick Lencioni's book, The 3 Big Questions for a Frantic Family...the above phrase is usually what I say. And it's true. Last week I started my five-part series on this book, and...
“Frantic Family” Question #3…
"How do you talk about and use the answers to these questions?" So last week I began a five-part series on Patrick Lencioni's book, The 3 Big Questions for a Frantic Family. First, we looked at Question #1: What makes your family unique? Second, we looked at Question...
“Frantic Family” Question #2…
"What is your family's top priority--rallying cry--right now?" This is the third post in a series on Patrick Lencioni's awesome book, The 3 Big Questions for a Frantic Family: A Leadership Fable About Restoring Sanity to the Most Important Organization in Your Life....
“Frantic Family” Question #1…
"What makes your family unique?" In his book The 3 Big Questions for a Frantic Family, Patrick Lencioni writes this about that question: "Another way to phrase this question is, what differentiates your family from every other one on your block, or at your school, or...
How Do You Answer the 3 Big Questions for Your Frantic Family?
If you have been following me online, you have now realized that I really love the book, The 3 Big Questions for a Frantic Family by Patrick Lencioni. I first came across the book when my good friend and colleague Todd Sandel recommended it to me. He and his wife had...
Intentional Parenting: Responsibilty, Privilege and Consequence
If you are like me...then a lot of times parenting is less intentional and more fly by the seat of your pants. Even though I have all the desire to be intentional about various aspects of my parenting, I often let it get crowded out by other things. One area of...
Join Us for a Sneek Peak at My New Book — What It Means to be a Man
The last 6-7 months have been a blur as I was busy reading, researching, writing, editing -- and a whole lot of staring at a blank screen -- in preparation for my new book, What It Means to be a Man: God's Design for Us in a World Full of Extremes. It's my second...
Do you contribute back to your community in an edifying way?
Back in December I was laid up in bed sick for a few days. And while in bed I decided to watch a few documentaries on Netflix. There were so many options to choose from and I couldn't decide. But I remember someone on Twitter or Facebook mentioning that if you work...
Beyond Ordinary: when a good marriage just isn’t good enough
For many of us there is a gap between the marriage we have and the marriage we thought we would have. Sometimes the gap is created by unrealistic dreams and expectations. But more often that gap is created by a subtle equation that defines many marriages: Time +...
Why Men Need To Identify And Develop Their Emotions
"Helping boys and men learn how to be both tender and tough, strong and bighearted, is a new ideal that will take some time to digest. But, having worked with men day in and day out for decades, I know from experience that they can reclaim the language of...
My 40 Day Experiment Without Social Media Apps On My Phone
Over the last couple of months I've really been thinking about how I can be a more thoughtful consumer of the technology that I consume, especially my mobile phone. As a pastor and therapist I have grown increasingly concerned with the side effects that our...
Living Into Some Answers: A Talk With My 17 Year-Old Self
I'm so excited for Emily Freeman's new book, Graceful: Letting Go of Your Try-Hard Life. It's a book for young girls, ages 14-18, and I can't wait to recommend it to young girls I work with in therapy and ministry. Emily is a great writer and has taught me a lot about...
Why Men May Be Good At Their Job, But Not In Their Relationships?
I've been doing a lot of research for my new book (which all I can say at this point is about men). And as I have been doing research I came across this phrase that has really stuck with me: "they live within the boundaries of their competence." The Silence of Adam by...
Youth Workers: Come Join Us at The Summit Conference in Atlanta, Georgia
I'm super excited to be part of The Summit this November 9-10 in Atlanta, Georgia. This event is put on by The Youth Cartel (i.e. Mark Oestreicher and Adam McLane). I love their ideas for this event, and love their passion for youth ministry. I got to spend a week...
Wrecked: A Wonderful Book From A Passionate Writer and Voice
A little over two and half years ago I had the opportunity to travel over to Haiti on an amazing team that had been put together by Adventures in Missions. Our job was to blog daily and tell the stories of the Haitian people that we had met. But behind the scenes,...
Fighting the Fear of Missing Out
A couple of weeks ago I wrote the post, Laptops and Mobile Phones: Creating the New Deficit In Our Kid's Lives. In the post I talked about the emotional deficits that parent's use of technology can often create in their kid's lives. One of the articles that I...
Laptops & Mobile Phones: Creating the New Deficit In Our Kid’s Lives
Last week I was reading a fascinating article at The Daily Beast on the use of technology and some of the new research on the impact it is having on our lives. The article was called "Is the Web Driving Us Mad?" In the entire 5 page article, one little line really...
Male Depression: The Men Who Suffer and The People Who Collude In The Process
I have to admit to you all that I knew little about male depression until the last ten years when I started reading more and more writers who were openly talking about it. People like Henri Nouwen, Parker Palmer and Archibald Hart to name but just a few. The more and...
Don’t Let Your Energy Dissipate Into Nothing
“When the door of the steambath is continually left open, the heat inside rapidly escapes through it; likewise the soul, in its desire to say many things, dissipates its rememberance of God through the door of speech, even though everything it says may be good....
How Anxiety is The Greatest Motivator for One Author and Blogger
Today I asked author and blogger Renee Fisher to share with us about how anxiety has transformed her life and motivated her to continually pursue God. You can learn more about Renee here, as well as following her on Twitter @devotionaldiva -- and don't forget to...
When Couples Fight — The Argument Is Rarely About the “Issue”
It probably took me a good 5-6 years of marriage before I realized that the fights my wife Heather and I were having were rarely ever about the issue that we were fighting about. The fight is just the top of the surface, or as I like to tell couples -- the top of the...
It’s Impossible That You Aren’t Communicating In Your Relationship!
Often in the midst of a therapy session a couple will frustratingly declare to me, "We never communicate." The truth is that they are communicating all the time, but they just don't like the message their partner is sending them. If my wife decides to get up when I'm...
Anxiety Makes Humanity Unique
Eric Chinski at the Paris Review, has a great interview with Brian Christian, author of The Most Human Human: What Talking with Computers Teaches Us About What It Means to Be Alive. The article is a fascinating look at the interaction between humans, computers and AI...
Disabilities: “Jesus loves me just as I am”
In the previous few weeks I had the privilege of being interviewed on the topic of anxiety in church ministry by Dr. Grcevich over at his blog Church4EveryChild. He runs a ministry called Key Ministry which aims to help kids with hidden disabilities and their...
Are You a Self-Differentiated Leader? If Not, You Need to Become One
Leadership is an important topic for me. I spent years in leadership in various ministry positions, and I continue to take on leadership roles within my newer vocation of marriage and family therapy. But leadership has become more and more of an important topic for me...
The 9 Letter Dirty Word in the Church
Introvert. Yes, if you don't know that that has often been/and is a dirty word in the Evangelical and faith communities, then you are probably an extrovert. I didn't realize it was a dirty word until I read Adam McHugh's insightful and powerful book, Introverts in the...
Today is the Day
The Anxious Christian: Can God Use Your Anxiety for Good?. I thought that writing the book was the long and tough part, and that when I handed my manuscript in...I was sort of done. Wrong. There is so much more work to do, and I'm excited about all the conversations...
The Anxious Christian: There Is No Way to Properly Say Thank You to Everyone!
When I originally sat down to write acknowledgements for my book The Anxious Christian: Can God Use Your Anxiety for Good?, I realized about 10 pages into the acknowledgements that that wasn't going to work. The publisher was looking for 1-2 pages, but I was 10 pages...
Can Depression Offer Us a Gift?
In Thomas Moore's book, Care of the Soul, he writes eloquently about the gift that depression may offer people. It's an opportunity to embrace emotions that we often don't deal with, leading us to a better understanding of ourselves and how we want to direct our life....
Pressed to the Ground: A Theological Re-Frame of Depression
In my continuation on the topic of depression, especially male depression (here and here), I wanted to share something with you by Parker Palmer. In his wonderful book Let Your Life Speak: Listening for the Voice of Vocation (a must read), Parker has one of the most...
Communication: What ‘To Say’ And ‘Not To’ Say To A Depressed Man
"What is the most important thing you can do for a depressed husband, father, or son? Without a doubt it is to communicate love and acceptance to them with all the power you can muster, and to avoid blaming them or being judgmental about their depression. Your loved...
The Angry…I Mean, Depressed Male: Do You Know Him?
Over the last several months when I have gathered for lunch with a few of my friends, we joke about the idea of me writing a follow up book to The Anxious Christian called The Angry Christian. Don't worry, that is not on my to do list, but our conversation hints at an...
The Anxious Christian is Coming Soon….Sneak Peek
This has been an exciting month for me as I have been wrapping up some details on the soon to be publication of The Anxious Christian: Can God Use Your Anxiety for Good?. The book will be released by Moody Publishers on March 1. I'm very thankful for the amazing group...
Can You Tolerate Your Own Anxiety Long Enough to Grow?
[image by Phil Schatz] The ability to live in the question long enough for genius to emerge is a touchstone of creative success. In fact, a 2008 study published in the Journal of Creative Behavior revealed tolerance for ambiguity to be “significantly and positively...
Anxiety is Good…
Philosophers and Poets, from their perch on the cutting edge of reason, have always seen the advantage of anxiety. It is the "dizziness of reason," argued Soren Kierkegaard; "the handmaiden of creativity," said T.S. Eliot; "the beginning of conscience," observed...
New Directions: 5 Changes in My Life and Career
The last year and a half of my life has been a complete whirlwind. That's the best word that I can use to describe all the things that have been going on. So today, I'm excited to announce several different events and changes that have happened and that are on the...
Steve Jobs, John Wesley, and How Pursuing Opportunities Often Come at Great Cost to Our Personal and Family Lives
The annals of history are filled with people who have done great things (inventions, writings, art, building, etc.) at great cost to their personal and family life. So it was not a surprise when I read Steve Jobs' biographer Walter Isaacson say the following: Mr Jobs...
Encountering the Other in Sacred Space
“Our relationship lives in the space between us – it doesn’t live in me or in you or even in the dialogue between the two us – it lives in the space we live together and that space is sacred space.” --Martin Buber Such a beautiful quote by the Jewish...
Shane and Shane New Album Winners…
Thanks to everyone who submitted a comment on the blog entry this week to win the new Shane and Shane album. There were so many good comments and I'm hoping to comment on all of them over the next few days. But after the random drawing of commenter's names we came up...
Shane and Shane on the Father-Daughter Relationship and God (and win their new album here)
Your daughter needs God. And she wants you to be the one to show her who He is, what He is like, and what He thinks about her. She wants to believe that there is more to life than what she sees with her eyes and hears with her ears. She wants to know that there exists...
Marriage: The Two Becoming One Is Not What You Think…
[image by The Welsh Poppy] Differentiation is a natural process in committed relationships that involves developing more of a self while growing closer to your partner. Men often sacrifice their relationship to hold onto their sense of self. Women often sacrifice...
One Woman’s Journey to Help Others Share Their Stories
A few months ago, a friend of mine pointed me towards the blog and online shop of Katie Clemons. My friend knew that I love to journal and thought I would like her stuff and her story. And he was right. I love the story of how Katie came into journaling and how that...
Openness and Authenticity Are Not Enough
I'm currently reading a really great book, Restoration Therapy: Understanding and Guiding Healing in Marriage and Family Therapy by Terry D. Hargrave and Franz Pfitzer. In fact, I can't recommend it enough. But as I was reading last night this section of the book...
Do Churches Try and Protect Their Congregants from Anxiety?
A couple of weeks ago a friend of mine shared an article with me on my Facebook profile called, How to Land Your Kid in Therapy. It is a fascinating read for sure, and well worth your time. But I was especially taken by this passage: Paul Bohn, a psychiatrist at UCLA...
An Experience and a Book to Radically Transform Your Marriage
If you find me talking about something a lot then that means I'm a huge believer in it. And you would be hard pressed to find me talking more about something this last year than The Hideaway Marriage Experience and 5 Days to a New Marriage. I blogged about my first...
Managing Anxiety in the Family System: How Couples Can Do a Better Job of Owning Their Own Anxiety
I would estimate that in about 70%-80% of the situations in which kids are brought into my office for counseling, the presenting problems have less to do with the individual child, and more to do with what is happening in the larger family system, and more...
How Ministry Leaders Avoid the Hard Work of Boundary Setting
We talk a lot about boundaries in our culture. “Boundaries define us. They define what is me and what is not me. A boundary shows me where I end and someone else begins, leading me to a sense of ownership. Knowing what I am to own and take responsibility for gives me...
Our Emotions and Grace
“Many years ago I was driven to the conclusion that the two major causes of most emotional problems among Christians are these: the failure to understand, receive, and live out God’s unconditional grace and forgiveness; and the failure to give out that unconditional...
Today We Are Debt Free: $75,000+ Paid Off in 31 Months
My wife Heather and I will never forget today...May 19, 2011. As of today we are completely debt free. We owe no one any money for anything. We got up this morning and paid off our final debt to Citibank...goodbye graduate school loans. It has been a long, hard...
Orthodox Christian Theologian Vigen Guroian on Gardening and Easter….
Yesterday morning as I was out on my early run I was listening to the podcast of On Being with Krista Tippett. She was interviewing Orthodox Christian theologian Vigen Guroian in a segment called Restoring the Senses: Gardening and Orthodox Easter. I thought it was a...
Writings on Marriage, Katy Perry and Grace…
Here's a list of three pretty distinct articles that I wrote or contributed to in the last month. Check them out and let me know what you think. Transform Your Marriage at the Start Marriage Right blog. Katy Perry's Comments Prompt the Question: How Strict Is Too...
Why ‘Pastors’ Become Therapists
Several weeks ago I was at The Hideaway Experience doing co-therapy along with another former 'pastor' turned therapist. It's not unusual to find therapists and counselors who were former pastors, but I think that vocational movement is often looked at with a sense of...
Don’t Place Your Anxiety on Your Kids
A few weeks ago I taught a parenting class at Highland Park Presbyterian Church where I made the claim that many of the anxieties that children experience are due to issues within the family and marital unit at large, rather than just in the individual kid. This isn't...
Daily Dose #20: Teenagers and Sexting
High-Tech Flirting Turns Explicit, Altering Young Lives But adults face a hard truth. For teenagers, who have ready access to technology and are growing up in a culture that celebrates body flaunting, sexting is laughably easy, unremarkable and even compelling: the...
Theological Anxiety: Underneath All the Theological Debating
I believe that underneath all of the current theological debate is a theological anxiety that is intolerable to many people. The need for certainty in everything is a way to assuage one's anxiety...an anxiety that is normal as we wrestle with the things of God. We...
Daily Dose #19: Facebook and Depression in Teens
Doctors Warn About 'Facebook Depression' in Teens Dr. Megan Moreno, a University of Wisconsin adolescent medicine specialist who has studied online social networking among college students, said using Facebook can enhance feelings of social connectedness among...
Daily Dose #18: Padded Bikini Top For 7-Year-Olds
I was pretty much speechless when I saw this news story this morning. And as the father of a little girl I was saddened to think about all the pressure by marketers that will be aimed at her to look a certain way. That's why we have an important job as parents. ...
Daily Dose #17: What’s One Thing You Wish You Understood Better Before You Got Married?
What's One Thing You Wish You Understood Better Before You Were Married? Okay, so that's the question...any thoughts?
Daily Dose #16: “Why do we let them dress like that?”
"Why do we let them dress like that?" All of which brings me to a question: Why do so many of us not only permit our teenage daughters to dress like this—like prostitutes, if we're being honest with ourselves—but pay for them to do it with our AmEx cards? I posed this...
Daily Dose #15: What is a healthy marriage?
This comes from Sue Johnson, founder of Emotionally Focused Therapy
Daily Dose #14: That’s An Amazing Friend
"When we honestly ask ourselves which person in our lives mean the most to us, we often find that it is those who, instead of giving advice, solutions, or cures, have chosen rather to share our pain and touch our wounds with a warm and tender hand. The friend who can...
Daily Dose #13: Dr. David Schnarch’s Definition of Love
David Schnarch's Definition of Love
‘Taking’ a Triune God Into Our Pastoral Counseling Work
A book that I read about seven years ago, and have flipped back and forth through on occasion in the last few years...I have just recently picked back up again and started re-reading it because of my interest in the integration of theology and psychology, especially...
Daily Dose #12: Are You a Happy Mom?
Yesterday Dave Ramsey had author Dr. Meg Meeker on his radio program talking about her new book The 10 Habits of Happy Mothers: Reclaiming our Passion, Purpose, and Sanity. It was a phenomenal interview with her on the ways that mother's can..as she writes...
