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15 years and counting

Where I am on a journey to help you discover what it looks life to live a thriving life!

Rhett Smith 97: Four Game Changing Books — Simply Your Life, Regulate Your Emotions, Practice Deliberately to Get Into the Flow, Work Deeply, and Perform for a Bigger Purpose

Rhett Smith 97: Four Game Changing Books — Simply Your Life, Regulate Your Emotions, Practice Deliberately to Get Into the Flow, Work Deeply, and Perform for a Bigger Purpose

I read a lot of books, but I don't consider myself the best book reviewer. Even though I read with pen in hand and underline and take notes throughout my books, I'm not great at writing about the details. But what sticks out to me are those big ideas in a book...the...

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Rhett Smith 89: Lent, Trauma, and Remembering

Rhett Smith 89: Lent, Trauma, and Remembering

I have been thinking a lot about the Lent season, which is appropriate since Ash Wednesday was yesterday. Here is what I posted on Facebook last night: Over the next 40+ days I am going to take some time to reflect on some of the things I am exploring around Lent,...

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Book Reading in 2016

Book Reading in 2016

So I took a totally opposite approach to book reading in 2016 than I have in years past, and I'm going to take it into 2017 as well. And in 2017 I plan on re-reading a lot more of the authors and books that I love. In the past 17 years I have primarily read theology,...

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Reframing Your Anxiety and Depression

Reframing Your Anxiety and Depression

A couple of months ago I had the opportunity to give a talk about my own journey with anxiety and depression at a local church, Chase Oaks Church. The video was shot for their ReNew Ministry which helps people deal with the "messiness of life." I love the work that...

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Rhett Smith Podcast 63: The Practice of Sabbath

Rhett Smith Podcast 63: The Practice of Sabbath

I've been talking about Sabbath in the last couple of podcast episodes (Episode 61: Sabbath Rest and Your Identity, Episode 62: Sabbath Rest and Anxiety), and so I close the series in this episode talking about various practices. As I've come to learn more about...

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Rhett Smith Podcast 55: Pioneering the Work of Restoration Therapy to Transform Relationships — with founder of Restoration Therapy, Author, and Fuller Theological Seminary Professor, Terry Hargrave

Rhett Smith Podcast 55: Pioneering the Work of Restoration Therapy to Transform Relationships — with founder of Restoration Therapy, Author, and Fuller Theological Seminary Professor, Terry Hargrave

I have told this story countless times in person, on the podcast, and in my blog...so I will try and keep it brief. But about 6 years ago I had an experience that forever changed my life. I had just returned from sitting in on and observing a marriage intensive at The...

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Rhett Smith Podcast 23: The Over-Scheduling of Kid’s Lives, the One Activity, Per Kid, Per Grading Period, and the Importance of Cultivating a Listening Relationship with Your Kids Early On — with Psychologist Dr. Neil Stafford

Rhett Smith Podcast 23: The Over-Scheduling of Kid’s Lives, the One Activity, Per Kid, Per Grading Period, and the Importance of Cultivating a Listening Relationship with Your Kids Early On — with Psychologist Dr. Neil Stafford

I know it's a cliche and commonplace to say that you are "busy" when someone asks how you are doing. I find myself saying that a lot, and more recently I've tried to correct that by questioning why am I so busy? And do I like being busy and do I get something from it?...

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The Launching of Thriiive Practices

The Launching of Thriiive Practices

This summer my family and I spent 8 days with a couple of other families in Colorado. It was an amazing time of adventure and community as we spent our days white water river rafting, ropes courses, hiking, trail running, and spending quality time with one another....

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Rhett Smith Podcast 10: Are You Living a Good Story? How Comfort, Anxiety and the American Dream Can Keep Us From Living a Compelling Life — with Author, Storyteller, and Communications Pastor, Scott McClellan

Rhett Smith Podcast 10: Are You Living a Good Story? How Comfort, Anxiety and the American Dream Can Keep Us From Living a Compelling Life — with Author, Storyteller, and Communications Pastor, Scott McClellan

In the Summer of 2008 I was sitting in my inlaw's home office working on their computer. My wife, 1 year old daughter and I had just moved from Los Angeles to Dallas to live a more compelling story, but we knew very few people except for some family we had in the DFW...

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Rhett Smith Podcast 8: Parenting in an Online World, Creating Sacred Spaces, and Navigating Cyberbullying and Pornography Among Youth — with Youth Cartel Co-Founder, Speaker, and Technologist, Adam McLane

Rhett Smith Podcast 8: Parenting in an Online World, Creating Sacred Spaces, and Navigating Cyberbullying and Pornography Among Youth — with Youth Cartel Co-Founder, Speaker, and Technologist, Adam McLane

I first got to connect with Adam McLane when we were driving through the Dominican Republic, and across the border into Haiti. It was only about a month after the devastating earthquake that hit Haiti, and we were part of a youth ministry team that went down there...

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Rhett Smith Podcast 7: The Journey of Forgiveness

Rhett Smith Podcast 7: The Journey of Forgiveness

One of the issues that almost always comes up in my work with clients is the issue of forgiveness. It is the issue that often is not addressed, but the one that is most needed. So a few months ago when a pastor friend of mine asked me to come speak at his church's...

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Opening a Second Office Location in Frisco!!!

Opening a Second Office Location in Frisco!!!

Starting Monday, November 10, I will be practicing in both Plano and Frisco. Over the last several years my practice has experienced incredible growth, especially from people coming down to Plano from Frisco, Prosper, McKinney and Allen. In order to better accommodate...

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Redefining Masculinity Around Relationships

Redefining Masculinity Around Relationships

Last month I wrote a blog and shot a video called Two Words You Should Never Tell a Boy. The two words I was referring to are "stop crying." It's a message that is devastating to boys and leads to lots of other problems for them in the future. Problems that I see...

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‘Oneness’: When Two Become Three

‘Oneness’: When Two Become Three

I've been thinking a lot about marriage these last few weeks for several reasons. Whether it is with the couples I work with, or my own personal marriage...I have come to realize that we just can't do marriage on our own. We can throw all the tools at it we want, but...

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Men: Are You a Relational Hero?

Men: Are You a Relational Hero?

"Each man is a bridge, spanning in his lifetime all of the images and traditions about masculinity inherited from past generations and bestowing--or inflicting--his own retelling of the tale on those who ensue. Unresolved depression often passes from father to son,...

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Difference Between Studying and Reading the Bible

Difference Between Studying and Reading the Bible

When I work with people in therapy we often talk about the importance of being physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually healthy. And one of the primary ways that many people who foster their spiritual growth is through their participation in the Bible. That...

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Do You and Your Spouse Need a Marriage Intensive?

Do You and Your Spouse Need a Marriage Intensive?

I wish couples would go to counseling on a regular basis as a part of their commitment to being intentional in their marriage. I wish couples would go when their marriage was in a good spot, so that they can take it to an even greater spot. But the reality is, in my...

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Leadership and Relationships: Creating Safety

Leadership and Relationships: Creating Safety

"Weak leaders are the ones who only extend the benefits of the Circle of Safety to their fellow senior executives and a chosen few others. They look out for each other, but they do not offer the same considerations to those outside their 'inner circle.' Without the...

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Exclusion as a Violation of the Self

Exclusion as a Violation of the Self

Last week I came across this article that stated, being ignored is worse than being bullied. I had to stop and think about that statement for a second. Nevermind the article and the research, I wanted to just think about that statement, especially since we hear so...

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“Ruthlessly Eliminate Hurry”

“Ruthlessly Eliminate Hurry”

Not long after moving to Chicago, I called a wise friend to ask for some spiritual direction. I described the pace of life in my current ministry. The church where I serve tends to move at a fast clip. I also told him about our rhythms of family life: we are in the...

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Running as an Antidote for Anxiety and Depression

Running as an Antidote for Anxiety and Depression

I love running! It has completely changed my life. I have loved running since I was a little kid. I loved running and playing with friends. I loved field day and running the sprints and the longer races. I ran track in high school. But somewhere along the way running...

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What Are You and Your Spouse Really Fighting About?

What Are You and Your Spouse Really Fighting About?

I've posted before that when couples fight, the argument is rarely about the issue. We think we are talking about money. Or sex. Or parenting. Or in-laws. But it rarely is about those things. Before long (usually within a few seconds) we are questioning whether or not...

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Healing Our Disconnection

Healing Our Disconnection

"I want to think more about what connecting is and why I believe it is at the center of powerful relationships. If connecting is at the center of healing, then disconnecting must be at the core of what needs healing. In our therapeutic way of thinking, we're more...

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Texting: The Future of Therapy?

Texting: The Future of Therapy?

Compared with finding a therapist in a big city, signing up for text-message therapy was a breeze. All I had to do was open an app on my phone, pick a username, and type my first message. Predictably, the first thing I wrote my new therapist was a question: "Hi. How...

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Two Words You Should Never Tell a Boy…..

Two Words You Should Never Tell a Boy…..

"If you cry again I am going to take you back home!" That is what I told my almost 4 year old son on Wednesday night around 8:00pm. We were riding bikes and he was in that overtired state where he could hardly contain his emotions. He was crying. He was whining at his...

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Can You Stand on Your Own Two Feet in a Relationship?

Can You Stand on Your Own Two Feet in a Relationship?

I think David Schnarch's work on marriage and the concept of differentiation in relationships is life transforming. The idea of differentiation is not his, nor is it new. But his work Passionate Marriage has transformed my life in many ways, and continues to transform...

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What Thinking Patterns Fuel Your Anxiety

What Thinking Patterns Fuel Your Anxiety

“The average high school kid today has the same level of anxiety as the average psychiatric patient in the early 1950’s.” (Dr. Richard Leahy -- quoted by Mick Ukleja in the article 7 Thinking Patterns That Contribute to Anxiety) Many of you know that I believe anxiety...

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Stuck in an Anxiety Rut

Stuck in an Anxiety Rut

"Looking back at our families of origin and remembering these details can be a scary process for many people. Sometimes we are not quite sure what we will discover or remember, and that can leave us feeling anxious. That is normal. When we look back, and really try to...

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Embracing Our Anxiety

Embracing Our Anxiety

I firmly believe as I have stated in many places, that our anxiety is a great opportunity for our growth. One of the first chapters in my book is about this idea of "embracing anxiety." I know that anxiety can come in many forms and whatever you are experiencing, I...

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How to Build a Thriving Therapy Practice

How to Build a Thriving Therapy Practice

It is not unusual for me to get about 5-6 messages a month from people who want to meet up either in person, or on the phone, to talk about building a therapy practice. For whatever reason these people have found what I'm doing as a therapist in private practice...

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My Journey with Anxiety — What is Your Journey?

My Journey with Anxiety — What is Your Journey?

I have had a long journey with anxiety. And I can honestly say that I'm thankful for the anxiety that I have wrestled with. I don't think I could, or would have said that while in the midst of my journey. But at times I can step back from it, gain some perspective --...

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The Adventure of Anxiety…

The Adventure of Anxiety…

"Learning to know anxiety is an adventure which every man has to affront if he would not go to perdition either by not having known anxiety or by sinking under it. He therefore who has leaned rightly to be in anxiety has learned the most important thing." —Søren...

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Be the ‘Life-Giving’ Man That You and Others Deserve

Be the ‘Life-Giving’ Man That You and Others Deserve

Are you a 'life-giving' man? That is a question that I am often asked. It's a term that I began to talk about in my last book, What it Means to be a Man. But I've begun to explore it more fully in the last 6 months and it is the focus of my online program for men....

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Are you feeling burned out? Try self-care.

Are you feeling burned out? Try self-care.

I just made it through a season where at moments I felt like I was on the verge of burnout. It just felt like a period of time when really big stuff...stuff bigger than usual was being juggled, and I was doing my best not to drop everything. Some of those things were:...

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Sex, Intimacy and Belonging in Marriage

Sex, Intimacy and Belonging in Marriage

"A sociologist once observed that the prevalence of intimacy themes in mass media, pop psychology, and 'alternative lifestyles' suggests that were driven by hunger for intimate union. It may look like this on the surface, but my clinical work helped me realize that...

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No Weak Men Allowed…..

No Weak Men Allowed…..

No Weak Men Allowed....I think that is the message that men hear from the time they are little boys all the way through the rest of their lives. I know I have heard that message. I know the men I work with have heard that message. It may come from parents,...

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The Imminent Threat to a Pastor’s Marriage

The Imminent Threat to a Pastor’s Marriage

About 8 years ago I was sitting in a marriage and family therapy class at Fuller Theological Seminary when the professor made an off the cuff remark about the marital satisfaction of a pastor and their spouse. The professor's experience was that pastors (in this case...

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About Rhett

I am a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (MDIV, MSMFT, LMFT), Speaker, Author and Coach, in private practice in Plano, TX. Read more...

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