Four years ago I was presented with an amazing opportunity that changed the way I thought about marriage (my own and the couples I work with), and how I work with couple’s in a therapeutic context. I went up to The Hideaway Experience in Amarillo, Texas to observe a 4-Day Marriage intensive. What I was a part of changed my life. In fact, I blogged about that first intensive here. I have a lot more to say after 4 years, but that’s for another post.
After my initial experiences of observation I became a part of the therapeutic team at The Hideaway and I co-lead about 2-3 marriage intensives a year (2 therapists, 4 couples, 4 days — it’s an amazing experience).
In fact, what I learned/have been learning at The Hideaway has changed me and my marriage forever. And part of the reason I’m telling you this is because the intensive model we use was built by Terry Hargrave and Shawn Stoever — two therapists I greatly admire.
One of the aspects of marriage work that I really learned a lot about and continue to learn a lot about is the role of our brains, and how our brains get stuck in negative patterns, and how we have the power to create positive change in our brains. Positive change that de-escalates negative patterns in relationships and creates opportunity to create new, positive patterns.
This is an old interview, but check out what Terry Hargrave has to say about the brain and change in couples.