“Somehow, even though we know that certain thoughts and behaviors are bad for us and are rooted in our own self-reactivity [negative patterns of coping], we return to those behaviors and usually find that these actions further assault our identities as human beings and our sense of closeness and safety in relationships. Old ideas die hard.” (The Anxious Christian, pp. 93, Rhett Smith — quoting Terry Hargrave and Franz Pfitzer in Restoration Therapy).

One of the most difficult things in relationships is the ability to be aware of our negative thoughts and behaviors; take responsibility for them; and learn to manage them in a healthy way so that we can create a more “life-giving” encounter with those people we are in relationship with.

What negative thoughts or behaviors have you noticed in yourself that tend to hurt your relationships?