“Without truth there can be no intimacy, because without truth you wind up sharing lies or delusions. Without intimacy there can be no relationship. When two partners share their true selves, protecting self and others by the correct practice of boundaries, the miracle of spirituality is present.” (The Intimacy Factor, pp. xvi)
Those words are from Pia Mellody, renowned clinician in the area of codependency and boundaries in relationships, childhood trauma, and many, many other things. I had the chance to see her speak last week and was so blown away by her three hour presentation, Coming into Balance: Addressing Issues of Value, Power and Abundance….that I still can’t stop thinking about it.
If you are looking for a wonderful book to read, I recommend, The Intimacy Factor: The Ground Rules for Overcoming the Obstacles to Truth, Respect, and Lasting Love
“Without boundaries, there is no relationship. Without relationship there is no intimacy. Without intimacy there is no love, and without love the spiritual path is hidden from us.
Boundaries create the experience of truth and respect in which love can grow. We recognize that our inherent worth cannot be taken away from us by the display of our authentic selves. We are human and only that. We are born with inherent worth and it coexists with all our human flaws. (The Intimacy Factor, pp. 118)