This is the mantra that has been playing, rewinding and playing over in my head for the last month or so. I have had this thought before, many times, but there is something about where I am at in life right now…maybe it’s age, stage, responsibility level. I’m not quite sure, but it’s been something I have been thinking about.
When I say, “We were not meant to live like this” what is the this that I am talking about? I’m not exactly sure myself but I’ve had the feeling that the way that I and that we have sometimes organized and structured our lives is not what God had intended. So for me the “we were not meant to live like this” is about how I spend my time, the insane commuting, the inability to completely let go of work and projects and rest. I’m sitting home sick today from work…really from everything because I found myself with the flu or something like that at 3:30am this morning. And you know what I was thinking when I was feeling this way last night and this morning, had nothing to do with really being sick, but with all that I would have to make up and what a hassle it is to get sick. So I sat around all day trying to find things to do (i.e. finish projects, work on work, school, etc) and I had the nagging feeling that God was telling me to just rest. But I couldn’t. I tried to post a blog, but I couldn’t. Finally I went to bed for a few hours and woke up with this thought (though I’m not completely sure that God had blogging in mind when He said rest).
We were meant to live for so much more
Have we lost ourselves?
We were meant to live for so much more
Have we lost ourselves?
We were meant to live for so much more
Have we lost ourselves?
We were meant to live
We were meant to live
These are the closing stanzas of Switchfoot’s hit song, We Were Meant To Live, off their album The Beautiful Letdown in 2003.
What is it that we were then meant to live for? The Westminster Shorter Catechism said:
Question 1: What is the chief end of man?
Answer 1: Man’s chief end is to glorify God, and to enjoy Him for ever.
To glorify God, and to enjoy Him for ever. That is an amazing statement. I can’t really even get my heart or mind around that. But I do know that I have structured and organized my life in such a way that often prohibits me from not only glorifying God, but enjoying Him for ever.
Instead of enjoying Him, I often find myself on the run from morning to night, completing one task after the other. Missing out on friends, family, solitude, play, relaxation, etc.
I’m fully aware that this is just a certain season in my life (having school, work, practicum, side projects, etc.) and that in less than three months I will be done with practicum and have no more school after June. The light is at the end of the tunnel. But how do I keep from finding myself in this position again.
On Tuesday nights I am taking a Psychopharmacology class (it’s required for MFT licensure in the state of CA) from Dr. Archibald Hart who has written more books than you can imagine, especially on the connetion between stress and depression. He stated some staggering statistics in class the other night and asserted that the rise in online technology and multi-tasking in our lives has led to a rise in the stress in our lives and that there is a direct correlation between these two things, stress and depression. I don’t think that what I am feeling is depression, but I do feel stressed and that is making me continue to ask the question about how am I organizing and structuring my life?
This last month I have slowly put aside a lot of the books I was planning on reading. I have blogged a little less than usual, and I have made a more clear attempt at when I feel the urge to do all these things that I redirect those towards just being with God, whether I have anything to say or not. In fact, part of my problem is that I probably always say and speak, rather than listen.
Part of my recent journey has been re-reading a book by Henri Nouwen, The Way of the Heart. In this book Nouwen focuses on three disciplines of the spiritual life: solitude, silence and prayer and the connection between all three of them. This short book has been a phenomenal asset to my life and I highly recommend it.
Are you feeling at this way? That you are living not as you were meant to live? What do you do to rectify that? What do you find helpful in priortizing your life?
