Tag Archive - time

Reminder to Parents: Presence=LOVE

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[image by Schantzilla]

One of the things that I vividly remember from growing up was my father’s voice calling out encouragement from the sidelines of my athletic events. It didn’t matter if I was a good or bad player, or whether or not I even got in the game. My dad’s presence on the sidelines or in the stands was always there. The more I reflect on that, the more amazing it is to me, especially since my mom died when I was 11 years old and my dad was essentially left alone to raise my younger brother and I.

I probably didn’t realize it then, but I have come to see it more clearly now, especially since I’m a parent. And what I realized was that for my dad to be present at my brother and I’s events (be it school plays, sporting events, etc.), a sacrifice of time was required. There was juggling of work schedules and many other things that went into him being there.

Ultimately, the message that was being sent to my brother and I was that time with us was more important than making extra money to buy things we didn’t need; that time with us was more important than sitting in front of the television.

I don’t know how many parents get this, but I wish more did.

I have worked with thousands of kids over the last 15 years in various settings. From camp counselor, to youth pastor, to therapist. And they all wish the same thing (sometimes spoken out loud; sometimes only discerned by the look in their face).

And that is….Parent’s time with their kids translates into love. Kids know that they are loved and cared for when their parents are present. Continue Reading…

NO TV: 36 Days and Counting

brokentv18My wife and I have been talking for months about whether or not we should get rid of our TV. And it’s a slow process. It first began by reducing from two DVR’s to one. Then it continued with cutting all of our cable but the bare minimum/basics so we can keep the one DVR to record the shows we like. Then my wife said, “Let’s give up TV for Lent.” And I immediately agreed.

This is not a big deal for a lot of you. Many of you don’t have TV’s, or you watch the bare minimum anyways. But for some of you, it would be a big deal. And it was a big deal for us, but an easy decision.

Here are some reasons…

  1. We found ourselves coming home and immediately turning the TV on, even if we weren’t watching it.  That was scary.
  2. We noticed our 20mos old daughter always asking to watch her shows (Dora, Signing Time, etc.)
  3. We felt like we were in a big transition in life and needed the quiet to pray, hear God’s voice and discern wisely.
  4. We had lots to do that wasn’t getting done.
  5. We felt exhausted all the time and watching TV seem to perpetuate that.
  6. Lots of people we admire don’t own, or watch TV (The Saddington’s, The Steward’s, my cousins, my brother and sister-inlaw, etc.).  We kept looking around and noticed that there was a correlation between those who didn’t have a TV, or watched it very limited, and the effectiveness of how they spent their time, their success, as well as the joy they seemed to have.
  7. It’s hard to really maintain a healthy level of relational connectivity and intimacy in our marriage if the TV is always on.
  8. We wanted to read more (our Bibles, as well as just our novels, theology, therapy texts, etc.).
  9. We wanted to set a better example for each other, especially our daughter.
  10. This is the testing ground to help us determine if we should cut cable completely and possibly get rid of our TV, or at least put it away.

And 36 Days In….

Continue Reading…

Economics Is More Than Money–Re-Thinking How We Use Our Time

Seth Godin has a killer post, Is effort a Myth.

He has me thinking about the economy…but not in terms of money…but rather the economy of time.

How we spend our time is as important as how we spend our money.

I like the practical advice he gives on just taking a 120 minutes, and re-thinking how you spend it.

You can see his thoughts below:

And that’s the key to the paradox of effort: While luck may be more appealing than effort, you don’t get to choose luck. Effort, on the other hand, is totally available, all the time.

This is a hard sell. Diet books that say, “eat less, exercise more,” may work, but they don’t sell many copies.

With that forewarning, here’s a bootstrapper’s/marketer’s/entrepreneur’s/fast-rising executive’s effort diet. Go through the list and decide whether or not it’s worth it. Or make up your own diet. Effort is a choice, at least make it on purpose:

1. Delete 120 minutes a day of ‘spare time’ from your life. This can include TV, reading the newspaper, commuting, wasting time in social networks and meetings. Up to you.

2. Spend the 120 minutes doing this instead:

* Exercise for thirty minutes.
* Read relevant non-fiction (trade magazines, journals, business books, blogs, etc.)
* Send three thank you notes.
* Learn new digital techniques (spreadsheet macros, Firefox shortcuts, productivity tools, graphic design, html coding)
* Volunteer.
* Blog for five minutes about something you learned.
* Give a speech once a month about something you don’t currently know a lot about.

3. Spend at least one weekend day doing absolutely nothing but being with people you love.

4. Only spend money, for one year, on things you absolutely need to get by. Save the rest, relentlessly.

If you somehow pulled this off, then six months from now, you would be the fittest, best rested, most intelligent, best funded and motivated person in your office or your field. You would know how to do things other people don’t, you’d have a wider network and you’d be more focused.

It’s entirely possible that this won’t be sufficient, and you will continue to need better luck. But it’s a lot more likely you’ll get lucky, I bet.

I was thinking about how much time I waste just surfing. And I don’t mean surfing in the ocean. But surfing on the web, the TV, through magazines that are pointless and candy/bubblegum for the brain (i.e. think sensational, gossip, celebrity, etc.)

Here are some ways that I would like to re-think, re-do my time.

  1. Check email only twice a day.  In the afternoon (around lunch) and then before work is over (around 5 or 6).

  2. Remove, or lower my data package on my Blackberry so that I can’t be online as much.  And turn off my email that comes to my phone.

  3. Reduce the amount of TV shows that I watch.  I like a lot, so that will be tough.  Replace that TV time with reading, relaxing, spending time with my wife.  And by time, not the time we spend watching TV, but real interactional, connecting time.

  4. Spend more time with my family when I’m with my family.  That means cut back on texting, Twittering, checking the web when I  am with them.  So really be present.

  5. Don’t spend my days off just running errands, especially the weekends.  But truly take a Sabbath.

  6. Ultimately, use the time I get back to do two things: 1) use that time to do important, life giving, learning stuff; 2) use that time to be present with my family…not just physically present, but emotionally present.

Give me your thoughts. How would you re-think your time, and what would you do with it?