Tag Archive - theology

Identity & Relationality

March 23, 2009 in Ministry-Theology, Therapy-Psychology with 4 Comments

holdinghands

“The Quaker teacher Douglas Steere was fond of saying that the ancient human question ‘Who am I?’ leads inevitably to the equally important question, ‘Whose am I?’–for there is no selfhood outside of relationship. We must ask the question of selfhood and answer it as honestly as we can, no matter where it takes us. Only as we do so can we discover the community of our lives.

As I learn more about the seed of true self that was planted when I was born, I also learn more about the ecosystem in which I was planted–the network of communal relationships in which I am called to live responsively, accountably and joyfully with beings of every sort. Only when I know both seed and system, self and community, can I embody the great commandment to love both my neighbor and myself.” (pp. 17-Let Your Life Speak: Listening for the Voice of Vocation by Parker Palmer)

I love that excerpt from the book. It really expands the whole concept of identity and vocation as being simply about “me”, “I”, et cetera and expands it to the community and the relationships that we have. It is one thing to ask questions about and wrestle with what I should do, but it’s a completely different thing to ponder about whom I’m to live out my vocation before, and from whom am I to gain a sense of identity from. For Palmer and others, any sense of identity comes from the relationships that we are a part of, and outside of those relationship, we do not get a clear picture of our own identity.

Let’s play this out:

  • As Christians we gain our sense of identity in our relationship with Jesus Christ. Outside of this relationship with Jesus Christ our lives bear no meaning and our sense of calling, vocation and work is lost. Think about who you would be without your relationship with Jesus Christ? Is it Christ that helps give shape to your identity and meaning to your vocation and calling? Continue Reading…

First Kindle…And now Logos!

March 10, 2009 in Ministry-Theology, Technology-Social Media with 13 Comments

3694Moving from Hardcopy to Digital
I first shared with you my excitement after getting the Kindle after Father’s Day of 2008. For someone who loves books, lots of them, it was a huge step. Leading up to that I had been weaning my library down (from about 3-4 thousand books down to a few hundred–about a 6 year process which picked up intensity in the last year or so).

Why did I do that?
Ego & Identity: My books were sort of like an ego boost and homage to my graduate school degrees, as if my books made me smart.  And my identity started getting wrapped up in them.  They had become too important. They were taking over my life basically.

  • Cost: Books are expensive to buy, shelve, move, etc.
  • Space: Just didn’t have room and we didn’t want them all over the house.
  • Amazon Kindle: I could take as many books with me as I wanted, and they were cheaper than hardcopy/paperback books.

    • Continue Reading…

    Emerging Into Our Identity

    March 5, 2009 in Marriage-Family, Ministry-Theology, Therapy-Psychology with 9 Comments

    windingroadEmerging Adulthood
    I have always seemed to work with a lot of people in the midst of that life transition from college to young adult, or to what is often referred to as emerging adulthood.  So because of the extension of adolescence, and the pushing of adulthood and it’s responsibilities to later years (late 20′s to early and mid-30′s) people often find themselves wrestling with questions that have often been resolved, or at least grappled with in early developmental stages.

    In my work as a college admission recruiter, college pastor and marriage and family therapist, I often work with people who come to me with questions that they can’t quite formulate themselves, but that touch at the core of who they are, and are very existential in nature in many ways.

    They are questions of identity, or “Who am I”, “What am I to do”, “What do I believe.”

    Fundamental Questions
    Over the last 6 months my supervisor has helped me formulate some questions that touch at the heart of clients that I work with that are going through this life transition.

    So I often tell my client that they are asking 3 very basic, very fundamental questions:

    1. Who am I?
    2. What am I to do with myself?
    3. How am I to be loved?

    Questions that we have been asking for thousands of years, and in reality, each of the questions are components of one another, and sometimes one must be answered for the other to be answered as well.

    Continue Reading…

    Depression, Burnout & Ministry: Soren Kierkegaard on Actuality, Freedom and Possibility

    February 12, 2009 in Ministry-Theology, Therapy-Psychology with 1 Comment

    kierkegaardOne of my favorite writers, thinkers, philosophers, theologians, psychologists is Soren Kierkegaard. Ever since reading Fear and Trembling when I was 22 he has continued to profoundly shape my life and thinking.

    So it is not surprising that in the book Depression and Hope by Howard W. Stone, that it is Kierkegaard that has something to say to us on this issue. Let me quote at length the following passage from the book:

    Soren Kierkegaard’s understanding of persons–for our purposes depressed persons–also helps us understand hope. In The Sickness Unto Death, he describes persons as possessors of actuality, freedom, and possibility. All three are a part of the authentic self, and a good relationship of all three is necessary for authentic existence. Actuality refers primarily to the past; it includes our context, our psychological predispositions, and choices we have previously made.

    Freedom is what we have in the present. It is a finite freedom, exercised within the limits of our situation and abilities, our givens and past choices. Because of our actualities we cannot simply become whatever we want to be ‘if we try hard enough for it.’ We make choices, and act, from the range of options available to us.

    Possibility addresses the future. It is what we can become as we use our freedom. In that respect our possibilities are not predetermined. We are not automatons. We can imagine, and within the givens of life we can become something new. Living as an authentic self, according to Kierkegaard, means looking beyond our immediate necessities or past liabilities. We anticipate the future with the awareness that we are free–however limited–to actualize whom we ought to become as faithful Christians and to take responsibility for shaping that future.

    In short, faithful Christian living requires recognition of givens from the past and exercise of finite freedom in the present, so that positive future possibilities can be imagined and brought into existence. Those who are depressed, viewed from Kierkegaards’ understanding of persons, allow their actuality (past) to limit and dominate their possibility (future) by not exercising their finite freedom in the present. So the anguish of depression comes not only from dwelling on negative past but also from the loss of a positive future. Unfortunately, much counseling offered to the depressed focuses on actuality, on the past. It is a grave error. The purpose of the minister giving care to the depressed is to engender a hope that recognizes actuality but also steps directly into the future by exercising freedom in the present, by taking action.

    The good news is that there are care and counseling methods that can engender future hope in melancholic individuals. Methods especially useful for enlivening hope include searching for exceptions, reframing, focusing on people’s strengths, and creating future goals as a way to move away from preoccupation with the past (47-48).

    Questions:

    1. How does Kierkegaard’s understanding of people fit into your understanding of people?
    2. Does your theology compliment Kierkegaard’s understanding of people, or contrast with it?
    3. How do you understand both our limits and freedom as people, and our ability those parameters offer to treat depression?

    Previous Posts in the Depression, Burnout & Ministry Series
    Depression, Burnout & Ministry: Deciding to Get Honest About Our Journeys
    Depression, Burnout & Ministry: Anne Jackson Interview, Part 1
    Depression, Burnout & Ministry: Anne Jackson Interview, Part2
    Depression, Burnout & Ministry: Assessment
    Depression, Burnout & Ministry: Christians and Medications
    Depression, Burnout & Ministry: Discernment in Pastoral Caregiving

    Disclaimer: This blog post is not to be a substitute for professional help or advice. Please consider seeking out professional help if you consider yourself to be at risk for depression.

    New Blog Look…New Blog Focus…A Work In Progress

    January 12, 2009 in Marriage-Family, Ministry-Theology, Technology-Social Media, Therapy-Psychology with 13 Comments

    penAs some of you have been reading on Twitter, I have been in the process of creating a new blog look. In reality, I just watched John Saddington help me create a new blog look. John went above and beyond what I expected…I was looking to just change themes, upgrade my WordPress to 2.7, but John was interested in helping me shape a new direction for my blogging as we spent time talking about my interests, passions, gifts, etc.

    There are a few things I still need to fix (i.e. About page, add some more page tabs, clean-up some duplicated comments, add images to my 8 categories section at the bottom, clean up some minor bugs, etc, etc.)…so it’s a work in progress, but I might as well not let my moments of perfectionism handicap me. That being said, what you see will be in the process of refining, and I will let you know about some of the cool features as time goes on.

    So this blog not only signals a new look for me…it also will signal a change in the direction of my blogging.

    As many of you know I’m pretty passionate about 3 things:

    1. Theology: Ministry, Church
    2. Psychology: Therapy, Counseling
    3. Technology: Social Media, Innovation

    You will continue to see me blog about many things related to those topics, but I’ve decided to focus more of my writing in the future on issues that stem from my last run at graduate school and what I’m currently engaged in.  What that means is that you will see me address more issues related to the topic of psychology, specifically issues of pastoral counseling, as well as marriage and family (or more broad, relationships).  Not only will I be looking at these issues from a counseling perspective, but I will be looking at how they intersect with our lives in the church, ministry, pastoring, etc.

    That’s one change…

    Another change is that though I love blogging about ministry and the Church (and will continue to do so), I will be sticking (focusing) on areas that I have more training and expertise in (pastoral care, college ministry, leadership), and will bring more attention to those who are writing great things in the area of ministry and Church that I’m not as gifted in.

    That’s another change…

    Last, I love technology.  But technology expert I am not.  So I will continue to be a “technoevangelist” (see John Saddington) and write about those tools that I’m passionate about, and the ones that especially connect with those that I’m using in ministry and therapy.  But I desire to bring more attention to those who are much more knowledgeable in this area.

    So you will continue to see my write about ministry, counseling and social media, but I hope by the end of the year you notice a much more focused approach to my writing that allows for a much more distinctive voice in areas that best fit my giftings.

    And I hope that you learn a lot from what I’m learning and writing, that we can enage one another, and become partners along the journey.

    But in the meantime, please be patient as I continue to transfer information over, change/update/create new pages, and fix some little bugs.  Thanks.
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