Tag Archive - technology

Social Media in Haiti: Seeing Beyond the Messengers to the Message


[image by Adam McLane]

When I was called and asked to be a part of the Adventures in Missions YMATH Team, I was told that one of the reasons I was being asked to go was to communicate through my blog, Twitter and Facebook during my time there. In an earlier post Why Haiti? And What You Can Do I talked more at length of the purposes for us being there.

This topic was something I wrestled with greatly as I was making my decision, and during my whole time in Haiti. And I know our team wrestled with this issue as well. Every place we visited we talked about whether or not to take photos, shoot video, tweet, etc. It filled a lot of our discussion time.

I think if I had gone to Haiti and had blogged, tweeted and Facebooked (is that a word) about the trip…and didn’t see any fruit from the social media push…then I may have come back feeling less sure about that decision.

We didn’t want to exploit anyone.

We didn’t want to stroke our own egos, or pat ourselves on the back.

We wanted to tell the stories of the Haitian people.

We wanted to encourage people back at home through the Haitian stories.

We wanted to encourage others to come to Haiti and serve or give.

We wanted to use social media to help resource the Haitian people and all the future teams.

And whatever the impression was of our team back at home I can say this confidently. The Haitian people were so glad that we had come to listen to their stories. They were thankful that they could look into a camera and share their plight with others around the world.  Aid and relief often can provide for one’s basic needs which are foremost, but it doesn’t often allow you to speak, to share of yourself, your stories and what you have been through.  People were ready to share.

The rest of the team has stories similar to mine, but personally I can say that I have been greatly encouraged by the connections that the use of social media in Haiti has brought forth here at home and around the world. I have had meetings with other pastors who are wanting to take teams to serve in Haiti. I have received messages from individuals who feel God is calling them to quit their jobs so that they can move to Haiti full-time and serve. I have had people donate money to Haiti because of some story I shared. I have had people express that they felt like they were actually there on the trip…that social media helped connect their head to their heart and have compassion in a way that they couldn’t have previously experienced unless they had gone in person. The whole outpouring of others is quite remarkable and beyond anything we could have done on our own.

Using social media helped connect various parts of the body of Christ, and though God was clearly in command, I believed he used technology to bring various organizations, ministries and people together.

One of the really amazing things about using social media in Haiti, is that Jeremy Zach and I were able to shoot a thank you video of all the water that our team was able to buy for one village because of the money given to Jeremy and I from some friends as we headed out to Haiti. They gave us cash. We bought water. And we showed them in real time (sending out tweets and FB messages of the video) how their money was being used. Wow! The people who donated were moved. A connection was made and Haiti was no longer a country on the news that had faced destruction. Instead it was a country, filled with real people, who were now drinking water that our friends had played a part in helping provide. Real flesh and bones.

Thank You from Adventures In Missions on Vimeo.

And maybe one of the best examples of the good social media did was this tweet by Anne Jackson:

RT @flowerdust PLS RT: Pls @andersoncooper Meet us 9a @tentcity http://flic.kr/p/7CYFZe 5k+ ppl w/o food/meds HELP THEM http://bit.ly/clQkFP

You all retweeted that message thousands of times. So maybe Anderson Cooper didn’t show up. But many of you did. Not in person, but through your generous financial contributions. Through your connections. People gave money. People made calls. And because of you…because of a story and a people you connected with through the use of social media…these people dwelling in tents were able to receive food and water. When all the NGO’s were unable to provide for these people because of red tape and politics, you were able to step in and help. And that was only the beginning of the story. People are continuing to give to these people dwelling in tents. People are continuing to advocate for them in Haiti from 1000′s of miles away.

The story continues to be told over and over again through the use of social media.

As messengers we may get in the way of the message. But the beautiful thing about God is that he can take our messages in whatever shape we deliver them…and he can redeem them and bring good out of it.

So is it possible that we as the storytellers can cloud the story?

YES.

Is it possible that our egos and agendas may get in the way?

YES.

I hope that we can tell better stories one day where people can see beyond the messenger or the distorted means by which we deliver them. That as messengers of God we act more in humility than we often do or come across. But until then, continue to tell stories. And use whatever means you have available. And in this process I know that God is continuing to transform our lives and the lives of those we come into contact with. I know that he uses us even though we are broken and cracked vessels.

God does and can use social media for the greater good.

Are You Doing Enough to Educate Adolescents on Technology and Pornography?

“There is a Tsunami coming. We are a hundred years from understanding what we are dealing with regarding the influence and impact of cybersex on mankind.”

Those are the words of Dr. Patrick Carnes, one of the foremost experts on addiction and recovery issues, especially when it comes to pornography and the influence of technology in aiding that particular addiction. The latest issue of Family Therapy Magazine (January/February 2010) is dedicated to the issue of sexual compulsivity, and is filled with great articles on this topic.

That particular quote is from the article The Tsunami: Adolescents, Technology, and Pornography.

The article goes on to say….

“Technology also possesses the capacity to numb out and desensitize youth from their natural progression as they idle away valuable moments for social, relational, spiritual, physical, mental and neurological development…Teen pornography and technology use is affecting their values, socializing, sexuality and courtship patters.” (pp. 19)

Adolescents. Technology. Pornography.

The perfect storm according to many psychologists, addiction experts and theorists who are on the leading edge when it comes to studying this issue and working with the people who suffer from such an addiction.

I love technology. I love my Facebook. My Twitter. My blog. Etc. Lots of things to love. But I have to also be sober minded enough to know that technology is not neutral. It has a transforming affect on my life. Some of those transformations are good. Some are not. So I have to be careful about how I use technology. I have to be careful about the boundaries I set around it.

If you work with adolescents…Or are parent or mentor to adolescents…Are you being sober minded enough on this issue? What are you doing to educate them about their use of technology and about issues of sexuality and pornography?

I’ve recently been doing a lot of speaking on this topic, both for the National Coalition (Dallas office), as well as for some local churches and youth groups. This Saturday, John Dyer and I will be teaching a breakout session at the Men of Valor Conference. Our breakout will be held twice and will cover the following topic:

Staying Safe in a Digital World—Room C26 (upstairs) Morning & Afternoon Sessions
Speakers: Rhett Smith, MDiv, MSMFT, LMFT-A, Marriage & Family Therapist, Hope Works
John Dyer, Th.M., Director of Web Development, Dallas Theological Seminary

Description: Today’s technology can bring both blessings and curses. In this session, John and Rhett will talk theology, psychology, philosophy and practicality as it relates to technology and its effect on Men. You will gain greater understanding of how technology traps can be avoided as well as used for greater good. John and Rhett are both bloggers who use technology in creative ways to advance God’s truths.

Being Present, Observing, and Removing Distractions (aka Sherlock Holmes)

One of the things that I have been telling myself the last few months is that I want to do a better job of “being present” with others in 2010. 2009 was an awesome year, but I felt overwhelmed, and overextended throughout much of the year. There were lots of reasons for that. Lack of boundaries primarily, but I also realized that I didn’t do a good job of being present (to people, to my surroundings, to my relationships, to God) because I found myself constantly online (on my desktop, or my phone) when I didn’t have something to fill my time. God forbid I actually sit still and do nothing…that I actually observe, watch, pay attention, reflect, pray, etc.

So I turned off my Facebook, blog, Twitter, and barely got online except for a couple of times from December 23–January 4th. Not a real long time. But long enough to feel the pains of having to withdraw (Should refraining from technology for a short period of time feel like a stint in detox? Yikes).

And a curious thing happened. Eventually it got easier not to be online that I almost dreaded coming back online yesterday. And I’m someone who loves being online. But I noticed some things while I was away offline. The key word is noticed.

I noticed that lots of things don’t get my attention when I’m constantly looking at my phone, surfing the web, watching TV, etc. I miss out on the little things. The quirks in our relationships. The hurting person on the street who needs my attention. The change of tone in a conversation that lets you know that something is off. The small, still, quiet voice of God.

But being away from the deluge of media on my phone, computer and TV just brought a new sense of awareness and attention to my life that I haven’t had for a while, and I noticed that those around me felt different about the change as well. They noticed that they were of primary importance to me, rather than some dude on the East coast twittering about something. They noticed that I was more into the details. That I was more present with them.

During this break my wife and I went to see Sherlock Holmes and I kept telling my wife “I want to observe the details like Sherlock Holmes.” I said that over and over. But I know that that is just not a skill or a gift that is given, but one that is cared for and fostered by the person. To be someone who has that skill of observation requires that other things that detract from us paying attention be put aside, or have boundaries placed around it.

The skill of observation and intuition is a huge blessing not only for the bearer of it, but for those who are on the benefiting end of it.

Imagine if I as a therapist had as much skill of observation in session with clients as Sherlock Holmes did in his cases.

Imagine if we as pastors/ministers had as much skill of observation with those that we serve.

Imagine if we as family members (wives, husbands, children, parents) had as much skill of observation with those we are in relationship with.

That would be transforming. Continue Reading…

iPhone + Ustream = Therapy on the Go

apple iphoneOne of the things I have been thinking about for the last six months is the idea of doing therapy on the go through mobile technology. Though I believe strongly in the benefits of in person, face to face therapy, I think technology is making available new avenues for us to explore the benefits of therapy through a mediated technological tool.

I have only been thinking about it…

And then I saw this tweet by DJ Chuang yesterday:

wow! this is revolutionary – live streaming video from an iPhone 3g ! see me work at http://ow.ly/KM24

Ustream and its Live Broadcaster app is the first app to stream live video from your iPhone to the internet.

I could see therapists using this feature for clients who are traveling especially.

It could be done iPhone to iPhone. iPhone to computer. Etc.

Just thinking out loud.

What do you think? Could you imagine receiving therapy via live video streaming from the iPhone?

Are You Everywhere, But Really Nowhere?

51pAAdjvXqL._BO2,204,203,200_PIsitb-sticker-arrow-click,TopRight,35,-76_AA240_SH20_OU01_If you have been following my Twitter stream over the last week you will have noticed how much I love the new book, Introverts in the Church: Finding Our Place in an Extroverted Culture by Adam S. McHugh. I will be blogging about the book more at length in the near future, as well as posting an interview with Adam in the next few weeks.

But I wanted to post a pretty long section of the book that is found on pages 68-69.

Through a scene at a local movie theater, Adam really gets at the heart of our struggle to stay connected to one another, our ease with which we let our interior lives weaken, and how we can often let technology get in the way of our relationships and of being fully present to one another.

Ours is an overstimulated culture, and an insidious side effect is that our inner worlds are atrophying. As our world becomes more and more driven by external stimulation and our lifestyles mirror the dizzying speed of our technology, we focus outward at the expense of the inward. We take leaps and bounds in one direction but drift from another, which can have the effect of alienating us from ourselves, others and God.

My wife and I recently witnessed the disorienting nature of technology at a local movie theater. The next day, perhaps ironically, I recorded my reflections on my blog:

There were three people in the rows in front of us who had their cell phones open during the entire movie. They were text messaging and surfing the Internet and otherwise annoying people. As I saw those cell phone screens open during the movie, I observed that the people using them were not fully committed to being anywhere during those two hours. They were physically sitting in the theater, even sitting with others who accompanied them, but their minds and hearts were scattered all over the place. They were not fully present, in terms of their attention, to the visual and auditory experience in front of them, they were not fully present to their friends and family that they were sitting next to, and they were not geographically present to the people they were text messaging. They had a hand and foot in several different places that were disconnected, leaving them as some sort of radical amputees. They were everywhere and they were nowhere.

Aside from how piercingly bright a cell phone screen can be in a dark movie theater and how bizarre it is to text message during an intense and complex spy movie. I got to thinking about how handheld technology affects our sense of personal identity. So many people walk through their lives as ghosts, not fully present to anything, gliding through places and around people but not really seeing or experiencing or being seen or experienced.

Two Relational Caveats on the Use of Technology in Creating Intimacy

I wanted to share this Ted talk with you (HT: Marc Payan), How the Internet enables intimacy by Stefana Broadbent. The description of her talk is:

We worry that IM, texting, Facebook are spoiling human intimacy, but Stefana Broadbent’s research shows how communication tech is capable of cultivating deeper relationships, bringing love across barriers like distance and workplace rules

In light of my post yesterday, Can You Be “Fully Present” Relationally If You Are Tweeting In Your Wedding, Church Service and Marital Intereactions, I wanted to present this side of the coin.

I do believe that technology can enable relational intimacy (you can read my thoughts on “ambient intimacy” and “ambient awareness”.

CAVEAT #1: I think the distinction that she is making and what others are saying is that technology can enable intimacy when people are not physically present, but harm/prohibit intimacy when people are physically present. There are exceptions for sure.

In my own experience, the reading of my wife’s tweets throughout the day when I’m not able to be physically present with her or talk to her on the phone can create a relational intimacy. But when I get home to her, and continue to tweet when she is actually there in my presence, it can create a barrier. It may seem subtle at first, but can have lasting ramifications on how we interact relationally with one another–or more important, how the other person perceives the interaction. Does that mean we never tweet around each other…no. But it does mean we have set boundaries around our technological use in order that our relationship has primacy over it.

CAVEAT #2: It does not matter what you think/how you perceive the use of technology relationally, but more importantly how your partner perceives it. For example: a husband may think twittering is fine while out at dinner with his wife, but if his wife does not feel the same way, then it is a violation of their relational interactions. Out of respect and submission to one another, we must seek not just what we want, but what our partner in our relationship desires as well.

Check out the video:

What are your thoughts on the use of technology to enable intimacy? How can technology benefit intimacy? How can it inhibit intimacy?

Can You Be “Fully Present” Relationally If You Are Tweeting In Your Wedding, Church Service and Marital Interactions…

At the Cultivate Conference in October I was really impressed with John Acuff’s thoughts on satire. He basically said (loosely paraphrased) that for him satire was blowing something up so big (larger than life), so that we can sort of step back and see ourselves in it. For John, it’s blowing up and satarizing Christian culture. It’s like a mirror reflecting back on what we do, and who we are.

Though this is not satire, watching the video below gave me an opportunity to step back and gain a new perspective on our use of technology and how it is permeating our lives. If you haven’t seen the video yet, check it out below. The groom was basically updating his facebook and twitter status at the altar (mind you, without his bride in on this).

Twittering in Church and Weddings
I have been thinking a lot about the use of technology in our lives and how it affects our relationships, but it took seeing this video to give me some more clarity on the subject, and help me think beyond the use of technology just in this specific situation.

Let me be up front and say that each person can decide what they want to do in their wedding. Everyone has their own ideas, from traditional to more casual. I tend to come from a more traditional camp, holding basically the idea that our wedding ceremony is a worship service where others participate in our union of becoming one before Christ. That is pretty sacred, so I tend to be more traditional. So as I watched the video it tended to rub me the wrong way. But here is why…..

Continue Reading…

Some Observations on Social Media and the Emerging World of Therapy and Pastoral Counseling

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[image by Ben Zvan]

I’ve been thinking a lot about the topic of social media and the role of therapists (pastoral counselors) in the midst of it. There is a large percentage of therapists who thinks being online should be super limited, if online at all. And there is an emerging demographic of therapists who are making a splash online and venturing forth to help people in some unprecedented ways. As I work through these things myself, I just wanted to share 3 areas that I have some observations about.

Online Social Media As Catalyst for Face to Face Therapy
Back in July of 2009 I was invited by Tony Steward to come to LifeChurch.tv and film four short videos on depression that correlated with their At the Movies series. It was a great opportunity to work with Tony and the team at LifeChurch.tv; to experiment with online technology/social media around the topic of depression; and to see how online accessibility affected my work as a therapist and a counselor.

Several things came out of our time together that are continuing to blossom, and I’m learning a great deal about combining my work as a therapist in an online medium. One of the real beautiful stories that emerged out of that experience was that I was contacted on Twitter by someone who had come across my video and said “I felt like you were speaking directly to me…yet, you didn’t know me.” That video, led to a Tweet, to an email conversation, to face to face therapy. That’s an amazing story I think.

I continue to receive emails from those videos I shot, and I also continue to follow up on people’s progress who emailed me on Facebook about things they were going through.

We will continue to see social media as a catalyst to help get people into therapy–either face to face in person, or face to face online.

Being Accessible to Help
One of the things about being online, present on Twitter, Facebook or a blog is that you present the image of being accessible. I say present the image of being accessible because not everyone online is accessible. Continue Reading…

Facebook Isn’t the Problem…But Maybe Your Marriage Is

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[image (47/365) :: Saga]

Triangling Facebook Into the Marital Unit
Often I find myself working with a kid in therapy whose parents have brought him/her in because of the problems they are creating in the family. In therapy/counseling terms that kid has become the identified patient. In short, the identified patient is:

The family member in whom the family’s symptom has emerged or is most obvious.

But often it doesn’t take long to realize that the problem really isn’t the kid, but rather the kid is just “acting out” because of what is going on in the family–the kid is carrying/becomes the carrier of the family problem. The scapegoat. This isn’t usually intentional, and is often done at an unconscious level in order to place blame on one member of the family in order to relieve anxiety in the other members–such as the marital unit. This is often why triangles are formed–in order to relieve the anxiety between two people.

BUT, I don’t think Facebook is really the problem. Rather, it’s just an easy scapegoat. Can it contribute to the problem? Yes. Can it be a catalyst in unhealthy marriage relationships? Certainly. But to blame Facebook would be to remove ourselves from the relational responsibility we have. And what about all the great things Facebook can accomplish–ways that it can enhance marriage relationships (I will talk about that later this week).

Non-Technological Neutrality, Marriage Relationships and Facebook
I’m definitely not a technological expert, but I have been learning a lot from John Dyer and others in this area. One of the things I have learned the most about is the non-neutral nature of technology which John speaks about quite a bit and in which I write about more recently in the post, Is Your Addiction to Technology Transforming Your Life. For example, I write:

At the ECHO conference John had a seminar titled Using Technology without Technology Using You. John’s main premise was that technology is not neutral. It can be both good and bad. But ultimately the use of technology is not neutral in that it transforms the user in some way. John gave the example of working with a shovel (a primitive technological tool). The shovel can be put to good use (church planting, building a home, etc.) and it can be put to bad use (killing someone, burying the body, etc.). But in either case it transforms the user in the form of blisters/calluses on the hand. The same is true of technology, whether you use it for good or bad, it still transforms you in some way when you use it.

So the question we all need to ask ourselves is, how is the technology and the tools we are using transforms us? And how does our use of technology transform those we relate to?

This is how I have come to understand the role of technology in my life.

Facebook is not the problem, but if we think that our use of Facebook isn’t transforming our marriage relationships in some way–then I think we are mistaken. Continue Reading…

Providing Understanding for Parent’s Experiences Around Their Kids and Technology

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[image by Jeremy]

More and more recently I have been afforded some great opportunities to work with parents around the issue of their kids and technology. There have been some great conversations taking place in the context of therapy, church ministry and some conferences and workshops I have been fortunate enough to play a role in.

Last night the National Coalition for the Protection of Children and Families did a presentation at HPPC on kids and technology, and they asked me to sit in as one of the panel guests in order to help facilitate some of my own thoughts on the presentation and questions that parents might present.

Lars Rood, John Dyer and I did a technology presentation for parents at HPPC back in September, so this was really another opportunity for me to think through some of the primary questions that parents have been raising regarding this topic.

One of the things I have been noticing (and this isn’t different than other parts of the population at large) is that there are a few primary emotions parents tend to experience and express when the topic of their kids and technology is discussed. First, there is fear. Fear of the unknown. Fear of the negative possibilities/opportunities that technology can create for kids. Second, there is naivete. And I don’t say that as a criticism. Rather, it’s the reality–kids are always going to be a step or two ahead of their parents when it comes to technology. So that can create a naiveness on the part of parents. They just may not know what technological tools or social media venues are available to their kids. Sometimes this naivete can put their kids at risk. Third, there is a feeling of defeat. Parents can feel so overwhelmed that they just feel defeated, often choosing to just ignore the issue and let their kids navigate the technological landscape themselves.

These are some of the observations I have made, and I know there are probably more. When you think of these emotions (fear, naivete, defeat), they tend to be more negative and critical in nature. So what I really see as my job, mission and passion is to try and help either remove these emotions from parents, or at least–help parents understand some things about their kids and technology. And hopefully understanding will bring less fear, less naivete and less defeat.

So last night one of the things I wanted to communicate to parents are four reasons why I think technology plays such a big role in their kid’s lives. These are the thoughts I shared:

  1. Technology and the tools of social media decentralize and flatten the hierarchy: What kid doesn’t love this?  Not only do we like it as adults, but kids, especially teenagers love any tool that decentralizes authority and gives them opportunities to participate, rebel, serve, create, etc.
  2. Technology and the tools of social media allow for a participatory culture: Because of the decentralization and flattening of hierarchy, kids are better able to participate, and possibly more willing to participate.  An “architecture of participation” is something I have blogged about numerous times before. Continue Reading…
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