Tag Archive - social media

Depression: Soren Kierkegaard on Actuality, Freedom and Possibility

Today, LifeChurch.tv posted the third of four videos that I shot with them on depression. Monday’s video was An Anchor in the Journey-Exodus 17:1. Tuesday’s video was Depression-At the Movies continued. Today’s video is Walking Through Depression. In today’s video I share about the prophet Elijah wanting to die, and actually asking God to take his life away.

Sometimes our depression becomes so severe that we just can’t even function. It evolves into an anguish that is difficult to cope with at times, and sometimes we wonder if we can move on. That is a difficult place to be, and it is not uncommon among humanity.

One of the things I have been reading a lot about recently is the issue of anxiety, and how anxiety lies between our knowledge of possibilities, and actuality. This is something that Kierkegaard talks a lot about, and I think he has some good things to say on the topic of depression.

kierkegaardKierkegaard is one of my favorite writers, thinkers, philosophers, theologians, and psychologists. Ever since reading Fear and Trembling when I was 22 he has continued to profoundly shape my life and thinking.

So it is not surprising that in the book Depression and Hope by Howard W. Stone, that it is Kierkegaard that has something to say to us on this issue. Let me quote at length the following passage from the book:

Soren Kierkegaard’s understanding of persons–for our purposes depressed persons–also helps us understand hope. In The Sickness Unto Death, he describes persons as possessors of actuality, freedom, and possibility. All three are a part of the authentic self, and a good relationship of all three is necessary for authentic existence. Actuality refers primarily to the past; it includes our context, our psychological predispositions, and choices we have previously made.

Freedom is what we have in the present. It is a finite freedom, exercised within the limits of our situation and abilities, our givens and past choices. Because of our actualities we cannot simply become whatever we want to be ‘if we try hard enough for it.’ We make choices, and act, from the range of options available to us.

Possibility addresses the future. It is what we can become as we use our freedom. In that respect our possibilities are not predetermined. We are not automatons. We can imagine, and within the givens of life we can become something new. Living as an authentic self, according to Kierkegaard, means looking beyond our immediate necessities or past liabilities. We anticipate the future with the awareness that we are free–however limited–to actualize whom we ought to become as faithful Christians and to take responsibility for shaping that future. Continue Reading…

Are You Experiencing Depression?

As I mentioned yesterday, I had the opportunity to share some thoughts around depression with LifeChurch.tv. The first video, An Anchor in the Journey-Exodus 17:1 appeared yesterday, and I posted a little more details on my blog, Depression: Getting Honest With Our Journey.

You can check out the second video, Depression: At the Movies continued.

Assessing Depression
There are a variety of factors and tools that one may use in assessing if someone has depression. In therapy, there are usually a few basic questions I ask to better assess what is going on. In my work as a Marriage and Family Therapist one of the main tools that we use is the DSM-IV (i.e. Diagnostic and Statistical Manual for Mental Disorders). Whether or not one believes in diagnosing individuals, some of the criteria they provide is very helpful in getting a sense of the symptoms that one is exhibiting.

51yeqm7b52l_bo2204203200_pisitb-sticker-arrow-clicktopright35-76_aa240_sh20_ou01_As a pastor, leader, or volunteer in the Church you most likely will not look at the criteria in the DSM-IV, but it’s important to have a baseline of criteria that one’s symptoms can be measured against. A book that I have found really helpful is Depression and Hope: New Insights for Pastoral Counseling by Howard W. Stone. In this great book Stone says the following:

Criteria for Depression

Depression, or melancholia, is known in psychiatric terminology as major depression to distinguish it from the normal low periods that many people go through. The psychiatric diagnostic criteria for major depression lists nine symptoms, as follows:

  1. Depressed mood, sadness, irritability part of each day, nearly every day
  2. Diminished pleasure or interest in daily activities
  3. Considerable weight loss or gain, change in appetite
  4. Significant change in sleeping patterns (The most common result is early waking.)
  5. Marked increase or decrease in movement (Most commonly the person physically slows down.)
  6. Fatigue and loss of energy
  7. Feelings of worthlessness or guilt (The feelings are beyond the scope of how people would usually feel.)
  8. Difficulty in concentration
  9. Ideas of suicide or death

To be diagnosed with major depression according to the American Psychiatric Association criteria, persons must exhibit at least five symptoms for a minimum of two weeks, and have either depressed mood or diminished pleasure or interest on most days for at least part of the day (APA 1994). These criteria are a good basis for determining if someone really is depressed. The certainly are not exhaustive but signal that a person’s story may be one of melancholia. (pp. 65-66)

Have you, or are you experiencing any of these symptoms? Have you sought out help for them? Continue Reading…

Dealing with issues around depression, anxiety, etc…

This last week I had the opportunity to drive up to LifeChurch.tv to film 4 video vignettes on the movie Henry Poole is Here. Without sharing too much in this post, the movie does a great job of really capturing some of the more human experiences we go through during difficult times in our lives. So I shot 4 videos, each about 3-5 minutes long dealing with different thoughts on topics such as depression, anxiety/angst, etc.

If you haven’t seen the movie, I really recommend it. Even better yet, check out LifeChurch.tv’s new sermon series, “At the Movies”, with plenty of opportunities this week for you to view online.

So each day this week (Monday-Thursday) you will see a new video vignette from me over at LifeChurch.tv Facebook page, and you will have the opportunity to interact, comment, ask questions, etc. I hope that what I have to share will be of encouragement to you, and I hope that I can point you towards some great resources as well.

Church Online at LifeChurch.tv is a great ministry, and I really appreciate the opportunity they have given me to talk about such important life issues, especially in such a great online venue where the interaction among people is so authentic and real.

So please let me know if I can be of any help this week as I post videos, interact with content, and point you towards resources on the topics of depression, anxiety, fear, anger, etc.

Using Your Twitter Leverage for Good

Before I continue on with my current series that I started here and here, I want to post an article I just wrote for Inspiren, which is the publication for the Christian Web Conference which I will be speaking at in September. I would love any feedback that you might have.

I have shared this story with many before, but my very first tweet from Twitter was on December 9, 2007, and it read something like this:

“working on my blog”

Not exactly life changing, is it? In fact, I must have thought about what to write for about 10 minutes. Using Twitter is an interesting experience and I have come to find that there are usually a few steps that one follows before they eventually come to their “sweet spot” in regards to getting the most benefit out of it. First, there is adoption of the tool itself. Convincing one to use Twitter was much more difficult in 2006-2008 before everyone jumped on board this last Spring. Before that time, Twitter was a small, but thriving online community that’s tipping point came in 2007 at SXSW in Austin, TX. I even wrote an article in March/April of this year for Collide Magazine, Why Tweet? Shaping Your Narrative One Tweet at a Time, telling pastors why they should be on Twitter. Second, there is the issue of popularity. This may not be the same for everyone, but once someone adopts the tool, well, they would like to have some followers and to know that others are reading what they write. But popularity and number of followers is only a temporary chasing, before one hopes to get to the third step (which actually may involve less, or more followers). Third, I like to use the term narrative leverage, which refers to the leverage one has to do good, implement action, create community and more through the use of their Twitter profile.

So once you have adopted, found an audience, the hope soon becomes how can I take this tool and use it to the benefit of others, and I think there are several ways that one goes about doing that through the use of narrative leverage.

In the article in Collide Magazine, I wrote:

We all have the privilege to sit with people on a daily basis as they share various snapshots of their life with us. In fact, some of my fondest memories of being a college ministry director involve sitting across from a student at a coffee shop as we engaged one another over a cup of coffee and conversation. Those were memorable times, but one coffee talk chat was hardly enough time to even begin to get a sense of who that student was. Instead, I needed multiple trips to the coffee shop with them. One standalone conversation was just a short chapter in the larger narrative of that student’s life. But when compiled, all the conversations began to paint a beautiful portrait of who they were and what kind of story they were living…

I have never understood how and why some people view Twitter as only an online tool without real world offline implications. Every time I tweet I am inviting others to see my life, to engage me, and to participate fully with me. In fact, I will argue that because of Twitter we often come to know people more fully than we sometimes do in our day-to-day, week-to-week encounters at work, school, and church. Twitter is a 24/7 engagement in the lives of others that affords us the opportunity to observe people in a unique way. We may see aspects of people’s lives and personalities through Twitter that we have not seen in person.

This is what Leisa Reichelt refers to as “ambient intimacy”, and what Clive Thompson refers to as “ambient awareness”. It’s this idea of being aware to all the sharing and talking from our friends and others that continually surrounds us. This is no more evident than on Twitter. Some may think that sharing what you ate for breakfast is trivial, but it’s not. Instead it’s just another brushstroke in the larger portrait that makes up someone’s identity.

To best use narrative leverage on Twitter involves a couple of simple steps. First, It involves you sharing your life online. A Twitter profile that is only links, quotes, agenda pushing, helps little in the way of sharing one’s personal narrative, and doesn’t invite others into your story. So add variety to your tweets, both personal and informal that can help others identify with you. In doing this, you are adding to the “ambient intimacy/awareness”. Second, listening is crucial to this concept of narrative leverage. Not only are you sharing your narrative, but so are others, and your job is to step into that “twitter stream” and listen to what others are saying. Where do you identify? What needs are out there? How can you help? What are you passionate about? When you combine these two things, the sharing of your narrative online, and the ability to listen to what others are saying, then you better leverage yourself to enter into Twitter and help make positive change in the communities and lives around you.

As I conclude this post, let me give you an example. My mother, grandmother and aunt have all died of breast cancer, so that is something that I have twittered about online. What I soon realized was that other cancer survivors, as well as those who have lost loved ones to cancer were now following me and corresponding. Through my sharing (narrative) and my listening (ambient awareness), I saw the opportunity to leverage my profile for social good. I contacted the local Susan G. Komen affiliate in Dallas about ways that I could raise money online through running two races (The Race for the Cure in October and the White Rock/Dallas Marathon in December). So now, because of my narrative, and because of listening, I will be raising money online through Twitter, Facebook and my blog to help the lives of those people around me who have been affected by breast cancer. This is the growth of my Twitter profile…from adoption, to popularity, to ultimately narrative leverage.

What can, or have you been sharing that impacts others? And are you listening in return? There is a world of good you can do with Twitter. I hope to see you at the Christian Web Conference, and I hope you can join me for my presentation and discussion, Twitter: Collaborate, Connect, and Resource via Your Story.

Fun with the Online Church crew at LifeChurch.tv

Today I drove the 3 hours from Dallas, TX to Edmonds, OK to film 4 video vignettes at LifeChurch.tv with the Online Church crew. The videos will most likely air sometime next week. But for now, here’s a little iPhone video Tony Steward shot with me.

imarriage brings you "real-time" updates on marriage

For the last week I have been talking a little about marriage, whether it be a quote from a good book, to some thoughts on some benefits for couple’s therapy.

Today I want to introduce you to a great tool on Twitter. It’s called imarriage and it’s the brainchild of Marc Payan.

What does imarriage do? imarriage is:

“Aggregation of real-time updates on relationship and marriage news, research, and global trends.”

I have been following imarriage for quite a while and have gotten to know Marc Payan online, and hopefully in person one day soon. In fact, as I get closer and closer to talking about the influence of technology and social media on marriage and family therapy, I’m sure you will be hearing more from Marc on this site.

If you aren’t on Twitter, but you are a marriage and family therapist, work with couples, etc., this alone should be worth your time. With almost 4,000 people following the updates it has become quite an influential site for what is going on in the world of marriage, family and relationships.

But if you aren’t going to get on Twitter, then check out the website Marriage Tweets, which is one and the same.

Diagnosing Our Online Busyness So That We Can Live More Holistically

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[image by Winstonavich]


Earlier this week I wrote a post on our identity in our engagement in social media and technology. I believe that at the heart of our online engagement are large questions of identity. And unless these questions of identity are addressed, we don’t fully live into what God has called us to be, but instead move into other identities that we, or others have created for us online. It’s hard to be alone…computer off–no Facebook, no Twitter, no blog–alone with our thoughts. Alone with who we really are.

In order to combat this tension I think we have to live a more rhythmic life when it comes to our use of social media and technology. And by rhythmic, I mean a pattern of living that is modeled after the Creation account–God creates for 6 days, and rests on the 7th.

Genesis 1:31-2:2
31 God saw all that he had made, and it was very good. And there was evening, and there was morning—the sixth day.
1 Thus the heavens and the earth were completed in all their vast array.
2 By the seventh day God had finished the work he had been doing; so on the seventh day he rested [a] from all his work.

Most of us don’t have a sabbath when it comes to social media/technology engagement.

How many of us have at least one day of solitude from online technology–from the computer? From our cellphones?

How many of us have built in periods of solitude, not just weekly, but daily?

Diagnosing the Problem
So why don’t we have sabbath patterns built into our routines? What is it about being engaged in social media and technology that keeps us from setting the proper boundaries? As I have said before, there is no need to re-invent the wheel, but instead I’m going to be looking at Henri Nouwen’s book, The Way of the Heart, as I write during this series.

And here is what Nouwen has to say about our busyness, and how it is connected with our identity. I think we can apply this to social media and technology. Constantly being online gives us a sense of being busy, of being needed and wanted. It gives us a sense of identity based on blogging traffic, and the number of retweets on Twitter. All this busyness does something to us. And we have to look at the problem first, if we are then going to change our patterns, and live a more holistic life that includes sabbath times daily, weekly, yearly.

“Just look for a moment at our daily routine. In general we are very busy people. We have many meetings to attend, many visits to make, many services to lead. Our calendars are filled with appointments, our days and weeks filled with engagements, and our years filled with plans and projects. There is seldom a period in which we do not know what to do, and we move through life in such a distracted way that we do not even take the time and rest to wonder if any of the things we think, say, or do are worth thinking, saying, or doing. We simply go along with the many ‘musts’ and ‘oughts’ that have been handed on to us, and we live with them as if they were authentic translations of the Gospel of our Lord (boldness added). People must be motivated to come to church, youth must be entertained, money must be raised, and above all everyone must be happy. Moreover, we ought to be on good terms with the church and civil authorities; we out to be liked or at least respected by a fair majority of our parishoners; we ought to move up in the ranks according to schedule; and we ought to have enough vacation and salary to live a comfortable life. Thus we are busy people just like all other busy people, rewarded with the rewards which are rewarded to busy people!

All this is simply to suggest how horrendously secular our ministerial lives tend to be. Why is this so? Why do we children of the light so easily become conspirators with the darkness? The answer is quite simple. Our identity, our sense of self, is at stake. Secularity is a way of being dependent on the responses of our milieu. The secular or false self is the self which is fabricated, as Thomas Merton says, by social compulsions. ‘Compulsive’ is indeed the best adjective for the false self. It points to the need for ongoing and increasing affirmation. Who am I? I am the one who is liked, praised, admired, disliked, hated, or despised. Whether I am a pianist, a businessman, or a minister, what matters is how I am perceived by my world. If being busy is a good thing, then I must be busy. If having money is sign of real freedom, then I must claim my money. If knowing many people proves my importance, I will have to make the necessary contacts. The compulsion manifests itself in the lurking fear of failing and the steady urge to prevent this by gathering more of the same–more work, more money, more friends.” (The Way of the Heart: Connecting with God Through Prayer, Wisdom, and Silence, pp. 12-13).

If You Use Social Media, Then You Have to Be Willing to Give Up Some Control

So I wrote this post back in November of 2008, Community Organizer+Grasp of Web 2.0/Social Media=President Elect Obama.

And then I saw this on July 1, 2009.

And then this tweet by Tony Steward on July 2, 2009.

#churchonline political campaigns found leveraging online community wildly effective in finding and making “disciples” = Obama is president.

President Obama and his campaign did leverage social media technology like no other politician ever has…and I think that’s a huge part of their success, and eventual winning of the White House.

But I’m wondering if it will turn on him. And I don’t mean social media itself, but the people wielding it. People tend to come to social media loving the freedom and openness that it provides, along with the ability to empower everyone and to feel like you are giving them a voice. But sometimes eventually that freedom and openness is seen as a liability and threat, and eventually turns to control. I don’t know if this is happening in the Obama administration or not.

But I think it’s a lesson for all of us. When you invite social media to play a large role in your organization, you have to be willing to let go of some of the control as well. This is why I think many churches and leaders are skeptical…because they don’t want to give over control.

What do you think?

There’s a Blog Post in Here Somewhere…


Morse Code-LenoThe funniest movie is here. Find it

I was watching this video (which is a few years old), and a couple of thoughts came to mind:

  1. I was thinking about how quickly we are to announce the arrival of the latest, and the best new technology. Whether it be the iPhone, Twitter…whatever-you name it.
  2. We automatically assume that the latest is the greatest.
  3. And…who really cares which is faster.  Does it matter?

This all leads me to thinking about the tagline on John Dyer’s blog, Don’t Eat the Fruit

Technology is Fast, but Redemption is Slow.

Why? Because after the 4th of July weekend I will be heading into a new blogging series, which will basically be a re-evaluation of our engagement in social media/technology, and some of the necessary habits that I think must developed if we are going to find a balance between our use and non-use of technology.  Lots of people are asking questions around this topic, the latest being John Dyer’s post, Using Technology without Technology Using You: Got Any Tips?  Stop by John’s post and lend him your thoughts for a workshop he will be teaching.

And starting next week, look for a series of posts on the topic of fostering a social media/technology rhythm.

How to Find a Good Therapist

I have found that there are a lot of people that are wanting to go to therapy, or at least try it out, but they are really unsure of how to go about finding a good therapist. There are several ways to go about this that I want to share with you, and then I’m curious of your own methods in doing this.

Reputation
This is a really good way to find a therapist. And by reputation, I mean those therapist’s names that you have heard before, or recommended by others before, or that keep seeming to come up for good reasons. Anytime you are situated in a community (church, social, work, family) there are certain names, in certain professions or services that one tends to hear over and over again. That’s what I mean by reputation. There is a therapist in Phoenix, AZ and a couple in Pasadena, CA that I continually refer people to over and over again because of reputation.

Personal Referral
This is a really strong indicator of finding a good therapist, and even stronger motivator for often taking that extra step needed to get people in the door. This is the recommendation that comes from a personal friend or family member. More often than not, the person who makes this recommendation has been to see this person in therapy themselves, or is connected with others who have. I think a lot of therapists build strong referral bases primarily on this source of recommendation.

Authority Figure
It is pretty well known that pastors, doctors, psychiatrists, et cetera can be great sources for referrals for people who are looking for a therapist. These professions, and ones like them have had a strong history of providing names of good therapists for people. I know many church attenders who wouldn’t think of asking anyone but their pastor, or some person on their church staff about where to find a good therapist.

Social Media Crowdsourcing
This is probably not as well known, but I think will slowly begin to replace the more traditional methods of therapy recommendations. By crowdsourcing I am referring to the practice of going online and asking people’s opinions via Twitter, Facebook, blogs, etc. I think this practice will gain strength very quickly. A form of this has been the popular chat groups and sites on Yahoo, forums populated by “mommy bloggers”, etc. This is the most common way that people ask my recommendation about finding a therapist, especially in other states. Continue Reading…

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