Tag Archive - pastors

Do Churches Try and Protect Their Congregants from Anxiety?

July 12, 2011 in Ministry-Theology, Pastoral Counseling, Pastoral Leadership, Therapy-Psychology with 4 Comments

A couple of weeks ago a friend of mine shared an article with me on my Facebook profile called, How to Land Your Kid in Therapy.

It is a fascinating read for sure, and well worth your time.

But I was especially taken by this passage:

Paul Bohn, a psychiatrist at UCLA who came to speak at my clinic, says the answer may be yes. Based on what he sees in his practice, Bohn believes many parents will do anything to avoid having their kids experience even mild discomfort, anxiety, or disappointment—“anything less than pleasant,” as he puts it—with the result that when, as adults, they experience the normal frustrations of life, they think something must be terribly wrong.

Consider a toddler who’s running in the park and trips on a rock, Bohn says. Some parents swoop in immediately, pick up the toddler, and comfort her in that moment of shock, before she even starts crying. But, Bohn explains, this actually prevents her from feeling secure—not just on the playground, but in life. If you don’t let her experience that momentary confusion, give her the space to figure out what just happened (Oh, I tripped), and then briefly let her grapple with the frustration of having fallen and perhaps even try to pick herself up, she has no idea what discomfort feels like, and will have no framework for how to recover when she feels discomfort later in life. These toddlers become the college kids who text their parents with an SOS if the slightest thing goes wrong, instead of attempting to figure out how to deal with it themselves. If, on the other hand, the child trips on the rock, and the parents let her try to reorient for a second before going over to comfort her, the child learns: That was scary for a second, but I’m okay now. If something unpleasant happens, I can get through it. In many cases, Bohn says, the child recovers fine on her own—but parents never learn this, because they’re too busy protecting their kid when she doesn’t need protection.

I think that we often do the same thing in the church as well.

Take this quote:

“parents will do anything to avoid having their kids experience even mild discomfort, anxiety, or disappointment—“anything less than pleasant,” as he puts it—with the result that when, as adults, they experience the normal frustrations of life, they think something must be terribly wrong.”

And re-write it like this:

“churches will do anything to avoid having their congregants experience even mild discomfort, anxiety, or disappointment-’anything less than pleasant.’”

I just see too often instances where pastors will swoop in and try and rescue a congregant from having anxiety as they wrestle with scripture or with God. They somehow believe that any anxiety is wrong and the person should have a solid certainty about God’s truth. So much for the dark night of the soul.

Or a youth pastor tries to keep a youth kid from asking too many tough questions that promote some anxiety in the group, and uncomfort with the youth pastor themself.

Or a worship planning meeting will spend endless hours managing every detail of a service so that nothing unplanned happens, or no mistakes are made. Sometimes I wonder if they are just trying to stave off any anxiety that may arise during the service in congregants or themselves if something were to not go off as perfect.

Much of church life is geared around trying to protect people from the frustrations of life and from experiencing any discomfort during church or their spiritual lives.

I say this from experience in my own work as a pastor for many years, and from what is conveyed to me by clients who come in for counseling.

But if anxiety is unpermitted in the church pew, then where else can they go to freely express it than the counseling office?

How Ministry Leaders Avoid the Hard Work of Boundary Setting

June 1, 2011 in Ministry-Theology, Pastoral Counseling, Pastoral Leadership, Therapy-Psychology with 3 Comments

We talk a lot about boundaries in our culture.

“Boundaries define us. They define what is me and what is not me. A boundary shows me where I end and someone else begins, leading me to a sense of ownership.

Knowing what I am to own and take responsibility for gives me freedom.” (Boundaries, Townsend and Cloud, pp. 29)



In fact, boundaries is one of the first things I address most often in my therapeutic work because a lack of clear and defined boundaries often leads to many problems in relationships with people. If people don’t have clear boundaries they often have a confused sense-of-self and identity.

But I feel like I’ve started to notice a trend regarding boundaries, especially in ministry circles.

The trend is this

A pastor/ministry leader/lay leader, et cetera makes a sweeping or non-negotiable statement about the boundaries they are practicing or want to practice.

Usually the statement comes from up front, preferably in front of many people as possible (Sunday worship perhaps) so as to communicate to as many people at one time the established boundary.

It may go something like this

“Because our church is so big, or because I’m so busy, I want you to know that I will NEVER personally return any emails/phone calls that you send to me. And I will NEVER meet you one on one at dinner/lunch/coffee, et cetera. I have a family and it’s a boundary that I have set in order to protect them.”

Though there are situations that this may be appropriate, it often feels like many ministry leaders do this in an attempt to avoid the difficult task of establishing healthy boundaries that can only come about in up and close relationships and interactions with other people.

Sure, it’s easier to just cut people off and avoid them.

Sure it’s easier to tell 6,000 people you will never return their emails than to have a heart to heart conversation with them about why you are setting a boundary with them regarding their emails.

It certainly helps us try and squash our own anxiety…but it certainly doesn’t lead to the relational growth that I think is necessary for not only people…but especially ministry leaders.

We only grow as people when we have to do the day in and day out hard work of being in relationship with people. We don’t grow by avoiding them or cutting them off.

I definitely think ministry leaders can do a better job of setting boundaries, but I just wonder sometimes if they avoid it because it’s such hard, ongoing work. Nothing is easier than getting up front and just delivering a boundary in front of 6,000 people. That way we can avoid the individual relational interaction and just address the big, anonymous crowd before us.

And when we do this, I wonder if we are actually avoiding the task of being a pastor.

How do you go about setting boundaries in your own life and ministry work? Any tips or suggestions?

Pastoral Leadership: Why It May Be More About Your Family of Origin Than About Technique and Data Collecting

February 16, 2011 in Marriage-Family, Ministry-Theology, Therapy-Psychology with 7 Comments

Family problems can often be resolved by having the parents or partners focus on and work at unresolved issues in their families of origin. By the same token, leaders must not only develop vision, persistence, and stamina, but also understand that the problems they encounter may stem from their own unsolved family issues, their organization’s past, sabotage in response to their effective leadership, or a combination of these factors. (pp. 27-28)
A Failure of Nerve: Leadership in the Age of the Quick Fix by Edwin Friedman

Let me begin by saying that Friedman’s book in my opinion is an absolute must read for not only those in any leadership position, but I especially think it’s a crucial read for those in pastoral leadership. The more and more I work with families in therapy, and the more and more I work with pastors in the church…the more and more I see the similarities of issues that are involved. I’m obviously not the first to see this correlation, and in fact, in Friedman’s seminal work, Generation to Generation: Family Process in Church and Synagogue, he explores at length this very idea.

There is so much valuable insight in this book, but one aspect that I have been thinking about a lot is something that Friedman says in regards to data collecting and technique by leaders. Friedman says:

It was at this point that I began to realize that before any technique or data could be effective, leaders had to be willing to face their own selves. Otherwise the effect of technique was like trying to build up energy in a spring where the initial twists store up more potential and then suddenly, with one twist too many, the entire spring unwinds. If this sounds similar to the recover problems of alcoholics, there may be more to the association than we would care to admit….the chronic anxiety in American society has made the imbibing of data and technique addictive precisely because it enables leaders not to have to face their selves. (pp. 21)

There is so, so much in that statement by Friedman that needs unpacking, and I will do so at more length in the near future. But let me leave you with a few thoughts.

Is it possible that our hunger as pastors to attend more conferences, read more books, acquire more skills, learn more techniques, and use more technology…is really a means by which we avoid doing the difficult task of looking at ourselves?

As pastors, do we lead with a non-anxious presence (self-differentiated), or does our own anxiety model to our congregation some of the same self-avoiding behaviors that they see in us?

If it is true that leadership is more of an emotional process than a cognitive one (pp. 11), then much of our ability to lead lies in our discovery and awareness of who we are in our families of origin, than in our ability to just know and do more.

Blog Focus 2011: Pastors, Marriages, & Adolescent to Young Adult Transition

January 3, 2011 in Uncategorized with 12 Comments


Image by Mykl Roventine

Since December of 2004 I have posted 1,298 times. There were periods where I posted 30 plus times a month, sometimes posting a couple of times a day. Some months I only posted a few times. And I have covered a variety of topics: focusing early on on ministry and theological issues, while more recently I have focused on issues related to relationships and technology.

One thing that has become more clear to me though this last year is that I want to be more focused on some very specific areas, and I want to plumb the depths more than I have been. I figure that God has created me with a certain variety of gifts, and that my work as a therapist and pastor, as well as my graduate training in marriage and family therapy, as well as theology, have equipped me to speak into certain areas of life.

For a long time I have found myself wanting to be like other bloggers that I admire, but ultimately we have to write out of what we know, experience, and who God has created us to be. It is only when we do that that I think we really enjoy blogging/writing, and then it is also possible to have the longevity to sustain not only the writing, but the passion over a long period of time. I think that’s one of the reasons I have blogged for the last six years…because I continue to find things that interest me and move on from them when they no longer do.

And now I have come to a new phase of life personally, relationally, and vocationally…and I want to focus my writing more on those things that interest me…and that I think can benefit others.

So my goal for 2011 is to focus on these three areas, and that whenever I write on an issue, it will funnel itself into one of these categories.

Pastoral Counseling/Pastoral Identity
I was raised in the home of a pastor. I have been a part of church community my entire life. I have been pastoring for the last 13 years vocationally, and more years “unvocationally” (probably not a word). In a sense, it is in my blood. The life and identity of a pastor is something that very much intrigues me, and now that I am a therapist and work with pastors, I am more and more convinced that this is an area that I must focus on. Pastors carry out unique functions in community and Church, and with those functions come demands and expectations that can create all kinds of havoc on their identities, marriages, relationships, etc. And I’m concerned at the number of pastors who recommend counseling to others, but rarely feel that they need it themselves. So I hope to explore issues related to being a pastor this coming year, covering topics such as marriage, family, power, identity, etc.

Marriage
I know, there are lots of people who write on marriage, but it’s something I have a passion for as most of my therapy work is with couples, and I continue to do more research in that area. It’s very powerful to be part of a process that helps couple’s in their marriage, and I want to share some of those things with you during this next year. As I talk about marriage I will cover topics such as sex, attachment, kids, vocation, spirituality, etc.

Adolescence to Young Adult Transition
I have always been fascinated with the transitions that take place in life, but especially during this stage of life. Different theorists will have different ages listed for this transition, but I’m primarily interested in somewhere between the ages of 16-36, and the major shifts in identity that take place during this time period. It is a very important stage in life, in that how one navigates the tasks during this time can set forth the trajectory for how they move through life itself. I will focus on topics such as identity making, vocation, relationships, anxiety, etc.

I know I have written a lot about technology these last couple of years, and it will continue to play a role, but only in as much as it makes sense to talk about in these areas of focus.

I’m not putting out a schedule of how often I post, but look for me to post more frequently this new year than I have this last year. But when I do post, I want to make sure I’m not just writing to write…just to post something…but that I’m writing something that has something worthwhile to be said.

If you have any ideas, thoughts, or input for any of these areas of focus, please let me know. I would love to hear from you.

Leaders Are Only As “Successful” As Their Level of Differentiation

May 26, 2010 in Marriage-Family, Ministry-Theology, Therapy-Psychology with 4 Comments

One of the topics that has been of great interest to me as of late is the idea of self-differentiation (differentiation of self). It has great interest to me in interpersonal relationships, and it has been really intriguing to me in terms of church leadership. There are lots of ways to talk about differentiation, but ultimately it is one’s ability to “stand on one’s own two feet”, rather than be emotionally fused, or enmeshed with others (i.e. relationships, families, congregations, church staffs, etc.).

We are all susceptible to being fused with others, but pastoral leadership can have the inherent danger where pastors often get their sense-of-self from others (i.e. congregants, staff, etc.). rather than being differentiated. Pastors receive much validation from activities such as sermons, late night visits, crisis intervention, counseling, etc., and if one isn’t careful, they can soon find themselves dependent upon these activities, and the affirmation they receive from them. How many pastors have preached a sermon, and at the end of the sermon they receive lots of praise, but they spend all day thinking about that one person who was critical of it?

I’m a pastor’s kid, and I have worked in the church for the last 15 years as well, so this is a topic that I am beginning to look more seriously at. Unfortunately, it wasn’t until I began my work as a therapist that I have begun to see more clearly the toxic situation that is set up in many church leadership structures.

A Failure of Nerve: Leadership in the Age of the Quick Fix by Edwin Friedman is a book that I think all pastors and ministry leaders should read. He talks extensively about differentiation in leaders and I found this one excerpt particularly insightful:

I wrote above that one outstanding characteristic with families that endure and perhaps even grow from crisis is the presence of a well-differentiated leader. Now I want to add that the factor which is almost always present in relationship systems that are deeply disturbed, if not disintegrating, is a conflict of will.

For example, one will find in almost every family experiencing the severest emotional symptoms (such as suicide, schizophrenia, psychosis, anorexia, abuse) and sometimes the most debilitating physical symptoms (such as multiple sclerosis, coronary conditions, persistent gastrointestinal problems, even cancer) a deep, abiding conflict of will within the family–sometimes blatantly contentious and sometimes subtly masked by charm or passive obstinacy. Similarly, such conflict is always present in the failure of teachers, counselors, clergy, and consultants to make headway against the riptide of resistance that run counter to their intent. It goes without saying that when continued efforts by CEO’s, managers, and administrators are producing little or no progress, they are probably swimming against a tide.

How, then, does one go with the flow and still take the lead? Answer: by positioning oneself in such a way that the natural forces of emotional life carry one in the right direction. They key to that positioning is the leader’s own self-differentiation, by which I mean his or her capacity to be a non-anxious presence, a challenging presence, a well-defined presence, and a paradoxical presence. Differentiation is not about being coercive, manipulative, reactive, pursuing or invasive, but being rooted in the leader’s own sense of self rather than focused on that of his or her followers. It is in no way autocratic, narcissistic, or selfish, even though it may be perceived that way by those who are not taking responsibility for their own being. Self-differentiation is not ‘selfish.’  Furthermore, the power inherent in a leader’s presence does not reside in physical or economic strength but in the nature of his or her own being, so that even when leaders are entitled to great power by dint of their office, it is ultimately the nature of their presence that is the source of their real strength. Leaders function as the immune systems of the institutions they lead–not because they ward off enemies, but because they supply the ingredients for the system’s integrity.

Much of what I have said about leadership can be summarized in the following chart:

POORLY DIFFERENTIATED LEADERSHIP

  • focuses on pathology
  • is obsessed with technique
  • works with symptomatic people
  • betters the condition
  • seeks symptomatic relief
  • is concerned to give insight
  • is stuck on treadmill of trying harder
  • diagnoses others
  • is quick to quit difficult situations
  • is made anxious by reactivity
  • has a reductionist perspective
  • sees problems as the cause of anxiety
  • adapts toward the weak
  • focuses empathically on helpless victims
  • is more likely to create dependent relationships

WELL DIFFERENTIATED LEADERSHIP

  • focuses on strength
  • is concerned for one’s own growth
  • works with motivated people
  • matures the system
  • seeks enduring change
  • is concerned to define self (take stands)
  • is fed up with the treadmill
  • looks at one’s own stuckness
  • is challenged by difficult situations
  • recognizes that reactivity and sabotage are evidence of one’s effectiveness
  • has a universal perspective
  • sees problems as the focus of preexisting anxiety
  • adapts toward strength
  • has a challenging attitude that encourages responsibility
  • is more likely to create intimate relationships

….Leadership that is rooted in a sense of presence can also be misconstrued as a justification for passivity–for avoiding getting your feet wet, for just being, ‘nice so everyone will love or respect you.’  It can also lead to mistaken notions that data and method are unimportant, that the bottom line does not matter, or that outcome is irrelevant and the approach, therefore, impractical.  Leadership through self-differentiation is not easy; learning techniques and imbibing data are far easier.  Nor is striving or achieving success as a leader without pain: there is the pain in isolation, the pain of loneliness, the pain of personal attacks, the pain of losing friends.  That’s what leadership is all about. (pp. 230-233)

How to Find a Good Therapist

June 29, 2009 in Marriage-Family, Technology-Social Media with 2 Comments

I have found that there are a lot of people that are wanting to go to therapy, or at least try it out, but they are really unsure of how to go about finding a good therapist. There are several ways to go about this that I want to share with you, and then I’m curious of your own methods in doing this.

Reputation
This is a really good way to find a therapist. And by reputation, I mean those therapist’s names that you have heard before, or recommended by others before, or that keep seeming to come up for good reasons. Anytime you are situated in a community (church, social, work, family) there are certain names, in certain professions or services that one tends to hear over and over again. That’s what I mean by reputation. There is a therapist in Phoenix, AZ and a couple in Pasadena, CA that I continually refer people to over and over again because of reputation.

Personal Referral
This is a really strong indicator of finding a good therapist, and even stronger motivator for often taking that extra step needed to get people in the door. This is the recommendation that comes from a personal friend or family member. More often than not, the person who makes this recommendation has been to see this person in therapy themselves, or is connected with others who have. I think a lot of therapists build strong referral bases primarily on this source of recommendation.

Authority Figure
It is pretty well known that pastors, doctors, psychiatrists, et cetera can be great sources for referrals for people who are looking for a therapist. These professions, and ones like them have had a strong history of providing names of good therapists for people. I know many church attenders who wouldn’t think of asking anyone but their pastor, or some person on their church staff about where to find a good therapist.

Social Media Crowdsourcing
This is probably not as well known, but I think will slowly begin to replace the more traditional methods of therapy recommendations. By crowdsourcing I am referring to the practice of going online and asking people’s opinions via Twitter, Facebook, blogs, etc. I think this practice will gain strength very quickly. A form of this has been the popular chat groups and sites on Yahoo, forums populated by “mommy bloggers”, etc. This is the most common way that people ask my recommendation about finding a therapist, especially in other states. Continue Reading…

Exploring the Online Characteristics of Generation F/Y, and Their Implications-Part 2

June 26, 2009 in Ministry-Theology, Technology-Social Media with 2 Comments

2535690506_060bdbf328
[image by jakeoneil]


Last week I posted Exploring the Online Characteristics of Generation F/Y, and Their Implications-Part 1. This series was born out of my fascination with the great article, The Facebook Generation vs. the Fortune 500. And for the first post focused on the first “online characteristic” of this generation, All ideas compete on equal footing.

Today I want to take a look at another characteristic:

2. Contribution counts for more than credentials. When you post a video to YouTube, no one asks you if you went to film school. When you write a blog, no one cares whether you have a journalism degree. Position, title, and academic degrees—none of the usual status differentiators carry much weight online. On the Web, what counts is not your resume, but what you can contribute.

I’m really curious about this characteristic and whether you agree or not? I still think some credentials are important, and some even necessary to certain vocations. But I do think it’s becoming less important. I tell my wife quite a bit that I’m not even sure college will be relevant when my daughter turns 18. Training schools, apprentices, self-learning, etc. But who knows. I have some credentials that are relevant to my work. My M.Div. isn’t necessary in some church circles, but it was helpful, and pretty much required for the denomination I have been in the last 8 years. My MSMFT is necessary though if I want to practice as a marriage and family therapist in any state.

But with the explosion of online collaboration, contribution and socializing, this need to justify ourselves through credentials seems to be collapsing. This is an especially strong point of tension in many churches. Online is a place where the junior high kid who posts a funny video, or the college student who makes a film, or the young adult who writes a blog…has as much credentials, and quite possibly as big of a listening and watching audience as does the pastor preaching on Sunday morning.

I think where this tension will become more apparent is denominationally. Many denominations have huge barriers for ordination and participation in certain leadership structures. Not everyone is going to be willing to jump through those hoops, and I think those who will be willing to do so will continue to shrink. That’s why I think denominations like the PCUSA will continue to shrink up, losing more and more bright and future leaders to other forms of church structure and ecclesiology.

Are credentials important in your church?

Does the need for these credentials exclude leaders who could participate more fully in the life of church ministry?

You Must Protect Your Inner Fire if You Live Online

June 10, 2009 in Ministry-Theology, Technology-Social Media with 15 Comments

fire[image by Capture Queen]

I have been thinking a lot…a lot about Anne Jackson’s recent decision, Saying Goodbye to Facebook. And then yesterday she followed it up with an article at Purpose Driven, Why I Kissed Facebook Goodbye. Something that Anne said in the article really stuck out to me:

The ultimate question, for the social media world as for every other world, is this: Is how I’m spending my time bringing glory to God? When the online world becomes our only source of communication or inspiration, it may be time to take a little breather and log off.

What stuck with me is this. That since I have been more and more involved online, I feel that my ability to rest, sit in silence, listen, journal, and reap inspiration from the writers that fueled me for so long (the Bible, Dietrich Bonhoeffer, Henri Nouwen, Annie Dillard, Eugene Peterson, Fyodor Dostoyevsky, etc.), has greatly dwindled. And ultimately, I think that has led to less creativity from me.

Maybe what many of us are wondering is how we protect the creativity and inner fire…that which gives us life and helps us contribute to the communities around us.

Continue Reading…

Four Areas Church Employees Need to Rethink: Part 3–Modeling Boundary Setting

May 4, 2009 in Marriage-Family, Ministry-Theology with 2 Comments

So I have been writing a few posts (will be 4 in all) on some areas that I think church employees need to rethink, or at best, at least address.

Now I’m not writing these posts cause I have done all these things right, rather I am writing them because I have failed in all of them and have had to rethink them myself. Hopefully I get smarter the longer I do ministry.

If you haven’t noticed, most of them revolve around two key areas: 1) volunteers/those who serve who aren’t “employed”; 2) time management/time priorities.

My first post was on Meetings and my second post was on Volunteer Expectations.

This brings me to my third.

MODELING BOUNDARY SETTING
When I speak of boundaries I could talk about all kinds of them, but I’m focusing on the boundaries you model in regards to your time priorities.

I hear more and more church leaders (and I’m one of them) who have often complained about the time priorities that those in the congregation have. In fact, more than likely you will hear at some point a pastor exhort the members of the church to be better parents and spend time with their kids, or be a better spouse and spend time with one another. We are really good at telling others how to manage their time, and what areas to prioritize it…especially from the pulpit. But we are not so good at doing it ourselves.

I have made the comment that two of the worst professions I have ever seen in regards to time priorities are pastors and therapists. Which is ironic since they are always telling others how to do it. I’m both of those professions…so I don’t know what says about me (I’m in trouble). We tend to have a “do as I say, not as I do” mentality when we pastor. Continue Reading…

Bivocational Pastors Continued: Two Statements

April 22, 2009 in Ministry-Theology with 18 Comments

I don’t even know where to start. There were such great comments on my post from Monday. When I wrote the post I knew that I wasn’t the only one thinking about this topic, but it was amazing to read some great insights that I had not thought about.

A couple of things jumped out at me:

  1. Dan’s thoughts about “dual citizenship” and blurring the lines between staff and everyone else.
  2. Sara’s thoughts were super insightful. I worked/do work for a PCUSA church that hires women, but still at disproportionate numbers to men.  But she is right, lots of women hope for just a part-time role, making them bivocational traditionally, especially in Evangelical circles.
  3. Dave’s comments about not getting respect in a bivocational role I thought were interesting.  And later I read online about how many bivocational pastors are considered second class compared to full-time pastors.
  4. Kenny, you are right, the arrows should point together.
  5. Danny, it is a beautiful thing: movement towards group leadership.
  6. Jon, I love your heart (I work with Jon) for church ministry and ministry at the skate shop, etc.

So you all left me with a lot to think about.  And I will process them more in some upcoming posts.

But let me summarize for you what I’m feeling and thinking in a few statements.  But before I do that, let me say this.  I have grown up in the Church.  My dad went to Dallas Seminary and planted a church in Phoenix, AZ when I was 2 years old.  So I have grown up in the Church.  It is second nature.  I’m the kid folding bulletins, staying late to greet all the members, waiting around for Deacon meetings to end, etc, etc.  I have been volunteering in more official roles since I was 13, and I have been on staff of churches since I was 22.  I just wrapped up eight years as a full-time college pastor.  So I love the Church.  I love ministry.  I have been both part-time and full-time and now I’m currently part-time.

I say all this to say, that I have experience in the Church, and the views I’m wrestling with right now are not a value statement on one position being better than the other.  I’m neither for or against full-time, part-time, bivocational, non-vocational…whatever.  I’m just in the process of asking questions and re-thinking some things.

So the following are some thoughts that I sent out to a friend who is working on a church ministry/leadership project that has been surveying leaders all around the country for the last year.  I talked about this issue with them, and spoke about the same thing, but in two different ways.

This is what I told them.

First Statement:

I have been thinking a lot lately about the idea of “tentmaking” and the need for more bivocational pastors and ministry leaders.

This is something that I have been processing for several reasons.

First, when a pastor receives all of his/her salary from the church, I think there is an unconcious desire to not rock the boat or take risks out of fear that one may lose their job (How many times have you heard of pastors not making certain decisions out of fear of alienating the big money givers?) Continue Reading…
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