Tag Archive - online

Providing Understanding for Parent’s Experiences Around Their Kids and Technology

November 12, 2009 in Marriage-Family, Ministry-Theology, Technology-Social Media, Therapy-Psychology with 1 Comment

3707927999_b358af608b
[image by Jeremy]

More and more recently I have been afforded some great opportunities to work with parents around the issue of their kids and technology. There have been some great conversations taking place in the context of therapy, church ministry and some conferences and workshops I have been fortunate enough to play a role in.

Last night the National Coalition for the Protection of Children and Families did a presentation at HPPC on kids and technology, and they asked me to sit in as one of the panel guests in order to help facilitate some of my own thoughts on the presentation and questions that parents might present.

Lars Rood, John Dyer and I did a technology presentation for parents at HPPC back in September, so this was really another opportunity for me to think through some of the primary questions that parents have been raising regarding this topic.

One of the things I have been noticing (and this isn’t different than other parts of the population at large) is that there are a few primary emotions parents tend to experience and express when the topic of their kids and technology is discussed. First, there is fear. Fear of the unknown. Fear of the negative possibilities/opportunities that technology can create for kids. Second, there is naivete. And I don’t say that as a criticism. Rather, it’s the reality–kids are always going to be a step or two ahead of their parents when it comes to technology. So that can create a naiveness on the part of parents. They just may not know what technological tools or social media venues are available to their kids. Sometimes this naivete can put their kids at risk. Third, there is a feeling of defeat. Parents can feel so overwhelmed that they just feel defeated, often choosing to just ignore the issue and let their kids navigate the technological landscape themselves.

These are some of the observations I have made, and I know there are probably more. When you think of these emotions (fear, naivete, defeat), they tend to be more negative and critical in nature. So what I really see as my job, mission and passion is to try and help either remove these emotions from parents, or at least–help parents understand some things about their kids and technology. And hopefully understanding will bring less fear, less naivete and less defeat.

So last night one of the things I wanted to communicate to parents are four reasons why I think technology plays such a big role in their kid’s lives. These are the thoughts I shared:

  1. Technology and the tools of social media decentralize and flatten the hierarchy: What kid doesn’t love this?  Not only do we like it as adults, but kids, especially teenagers love any tool that decentralizes authority and gives them opportunities to participate, rebel, serve, create, etc.
  2. Technology and the tools of social media allow for a participatory culture: Because of the decentralization and flattening of hierarchy, kids are better able to participate, and possibly more willing to participate.  An “architecture of participation” is something I have blogged about numerous times before. Continue Reading…

MyTherapistMatch: Clearing the Connection Hurdle Between Client and Therapist

November 11, 2009 in Marriage-Family, Technology-Social Media, Therapy-Psychology with 0 Comments

home_featured_content_img1Finding a therapist can be a very daunting process for many people. Finding a good therapist can be even more daunting.

This last summer I posted What to Look for in a Therapist and How to Find a Good Therapist hoping that my thoughts on the issue might benefit some people who find themselves in the midst of this process.

It seems that everyday more and more tools are coming out that are helping bridge that connection between therapist and client. In fact, I was pointed to this site MyTherapistMatch by one of my good friends, and I decided to take the questionairre myself to see what kind of therapist would be matched up with me.

The 79 question survey took me about 5 minutes to complete. I didn’t receive back any results for therapists in my area, but that didn’t surprise me because 1) I live up in Frisco and there are less therapists up there than say Dallas and Plano. 2) The site is still in beta so I’m sure it will take a little while for the site to be populated with therapist referrals. But I love the idea and see this is as one great tool in the search for a therapist.

If you are a person looking for a therapist I would recommend you try it out and see what results you get. And if you are a therapist, I would recommend checking out and seeing what they can do for you.

Check out the video below on why Corey Quinn decided to create this site:

Your Kids Online: What Are You Doing to Them?

November 10, 2009 in Marriage-Family, Therapy-Psychology with 10 Comments

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[image by Zieak]

Something I have been torn over for a while is the question of “How much of my daughter’s life do I share online?”

With blogs, Facebook, Twitter, Flickr and other services it’s more convenient than ever to post photos, share little blurbs about their day, and our reactions as parents to certain things. And as an excited parent of a 2 year old girl I find lots of stuff I want to share with others. Even though I’ve been hesitant to blog about her, and I rarely do, people could probably find out information about her pretty quickly online. Between my wife, our families and I, there is more than enough out there. Actually, there is more online than I want there to be at this point.

But I think this is a discussion worth having because I think too many people quickly excuse it and say that “it doesn’t matter”, or if “people really want to find them, then they will.” Or some say, well the future is the internet, so we are just helping them jump online early. But maybe that is more about you than your kids.

I have seen some of the discussions going around, but one that caught my eye was Wess Daniels‘ recent post, Limiting Access: Flickr and Archiving Our Children’s Lives. Wess states:

Now, I am no alarmist and I am not about to get all privacy this and that on you, but I appreciated the question my friend Fernando put to me on twitter: “it’s about giving people control over their “digital destiny.” How will the stuff we post hit our kids future relationships?” And this is really it for me. Not only do we not know what it’s like to have our entire lives archived online, we are the ones choosing what to post and what not to post for the public.

Wess concludes with:

I’ll leave the archiving up to my daughters when they’re ready to do it themselves (Lord knows Google’s got a nice archive on me).

One of the articles that seems to have really challenged Wess’ thinking on this topic was the New York Times article Guardians of their Smiles
 from a couple of weeks ago.

This article focuses on the safety of putting so much of our kid’s lives online, but I think Wess hits on something important when he writes, “How will the stuff we post hit our kids future relationships?” As parents we are usually constantly thinking about our kid’s safety, but I do think we fail to realize what affect the online profile we are building them right now could do to them relationally.

I’m currently working with quite a few kids in therapy as well as ministry, and one of the growing conversations that kids are engaging me in is their embarrassment of what their parents are posting about them online, whether it be a picture or some random comment on Twitter. As parents we might think it’s funny to say something like, “my husband just had the birds and the bees talk with our son”, or “sometimes being a parent is exhausting.” As parents we see it as no more than an opportunity to share a piece of our life with others, or to connect with other parents online. But to your kids, it’s more than that. Continue Reading…

So You Have a Lot of “Friends” Online…Now What?

October 23, 2009 in Ministry-Theology, Technology-Social Media, Therapy-Psychology with 9 Comments

Cultivate logo_Oct 27-1Tony Steward and I are super excited to be facilitating a conversation at the Cultivate Conference this upcoming Tuesday in Chicago.

Ever since we were asked to facilitate jointly at the conference we have been discussing what would be the most beneficial conversation we could be a part of. What experience and skills could we both bring to the table?

In the end, this is what we have landed on…

Title
Finding Our End // Communicating in the social web brings relationships with it. How do we care for those relationships in our limitations while continuing to effectively communicate?

Description
As we work online, where do our social/pastoral responsibilities begin
and end, while caring for ourselves and our families?

Tony is obviously an important voice in this area as he brings his expertise from his role as the online campus pastor for LifeChurch.tv. And I hope to bring my experience as a pastor and therapist to the discussion, and how actually some of the online volunteer work I have done for LifeChurch.tv has generated new ways of thinking about our roles and responsibilities online.

We hope to see you there…

Exploring the Online Characteristics of Generation F/Y, and Their Implications for Ministry

June 18, 2009 in Ministry-Theology, Technology-Social Media with 7 Comments

This world of social networking is a world of little to no hierarchy, and the leadership that exists is one that is centered within the groups in the online communities, and encourages a leadership style that is horizontally structured, striving to give equal voice to everyone involved. In terms of its impact to the world outside of it, these online social networking sites encourage a bottom’s up style of leadership, where change comes from grass root movements within the sites and moves out into the world. If a student does not feel empowered in any of the relationships that exist in his or her day to day life, they are going to find it online where there are little to no rules, and no parental control or authority to tell them what, when or how to do something. Students are masters of their own universe and they shape their profile and identity around the idea that they are valuable to the group and can offer meaningful opinions.

This is crucial for youth workers to understand. Most churches operate using a hierarchical approach, where structure and authority are organized in a top-down manner. In most cases, this means that the voices that are given the most importance and are usually the most heard are those of the senior pastor, the ordained staff or those in positions of employed leadership. This is not the case for MySpace or Facebook. Everyone has a voice and place along the continuum of leadership in these communities. When Nouwen states that “The way of the Christian leader is not the way of upward mobility in which our world has invested so much, but the way of downward mobility ending on the cross,” I would argue that online social networking sites offer in terms of leadership a trajectory more aligned with downward mobility than most church structures. This is what happened in our ministry in 2006 when one of my students decided to create for us a Facebook profile without my knowledge. This is often what scares most youth workers away from these sites, knowing that they can’t control what happens online, and that the power and position they hold in the real world, means sometimes nothing in the virtual world. But looking back over the last year I am thankful that he took the initiative and didn’t feel like he had to get approval through me. (The New Media Frontier: Blogging, Vlogging, and Podcasting for Christ)

That’s what I wrote about two years ago in my chapter Navigating the Evolving World of Youth Ministry in the Facebook-MySpace Generation. As you can see, I think the combination of the online world and Generation Y/F has huge implications for ministry. On Tuesday I posted Values of Generation Y/Millenials That Will Help Transform Work and Church, and it got some good reaction online via blogs, Twitter, as well in some personal conversation that I had. And then yesterday, ChurchCrunch commented on the post and topic with Hiring, Managing, and Keeping Staff from the Facebook Generation.

So I’ve decided to look at this issue at length, and in depth a little more. There are lots of issues here that intrigue and excite me. Leadership and management styles. Generational stereotypes, especially around Generations Y/F. The leverage of technology and social media in reshaping all of the above. As I mentioned, all of these things have HUGE IMPLICATIONS FOR THE CHURCH.

So over the next few couple of weeks I’m going to look again at the article The Facebook Generation vs. the Fortune 500, and I’m going to revisit the 12 work-relevant characteristics of online life that Gary Hamel says represent this Generation F (Y, Millenials–whatever you want to call them). But I’m going to look at each one through the lense of Church, ministry, theology, and see what we can learn, and why this generation is often at odds with those current generation of leaders pastoring churches today.

In case you forgot what the 12 characteristics are, here is the list to refresh your memory:

  1. All ideas compete on an equal footing.
  2. Contribution counts for more than credentials.
  3. Hierarchies are natural, not prescribed.
  4. Leaders serve rather than preside.
  5. Tasks are chosen, not assigned.
  6. Groups are self-defining and -organizing.
  7. Resources get attracted, not allocated.
  8. Power comes from sharing information, not hoarding it.
  9. Opinions compound and decisions are peer-reviewed.
  10. Users can veto most policy decisions.
  11. Intrinsic rewards matter most.
  12. Hackers are heroes.

I look forward to exploring this topic with you.

Exploring Virtual/Online Church

March 18, 2009 in Ministry-Theology, Technology-Social Media with 7 Comments


LifeChurch.tv Second Life Campus Tour

Douglas:

Is the virtual church a real/genuine church?

Andrew

Absolutely not. But neither is a physical gathering in a church building on a Sunday morning. The body of Christ is a spiritual aggregation of believers whose names are written in the Lamb’s book of life. That body finds itself aggregated, or called out into assembly with each other, in both physical and virtual gatherings. There are seeking non-believers in both physical and virtual aggregations so neither expression can claim to be fully church. And also, there are believers in physical churches who connect with each other online during the week and there are believers from cyber-churches and online faith communities who intentionally seek out physical meetings when possible. The dividing line between the two is therefore more artificial than actual. (Andrew Jones being interviewed by Doug Estes)

. Continue Reading…

2009 Goal of “Taking Online Community Offline” in Progress…

January 16, 2009 in Marriage-Family, Technology-Social Media with 6 Comments

17264693If you have been reading my blog lately you know that I posted a couple of entries related to this post, “Taking Online Community Offline:” What I’m Doing About It And My 2009 Goal.

What is my 2009 Goal?

“meet & have coffee with every person in the DFW metroplex that I’m connected to on Twitter, Facebook or my blog. Cool?”

It began with a simple Tweet on November 14th and has now become a movement into becoming more and more real everyday.

So I’m going to give you all a weekly update (if some of the goal is met)…but let’s see how it goes.

January 7: Though Greg Atkinson is one of my buddies and we hang out on a pretty regular basis, my lunch conversation with him that day was a really great way to start off the year. We talked about some deep issues and I was able to walk away with some newly needed focus in some areas of my life. Greg is an awesome guy and knows everyone in Dallas and all the best Mexican food restaurants. Follow Greg on Twitter. And follow his work with Church 2.0 on Facebook.

January 8: Now this day was too huge, that I’m not going to even try to mention names. I know I will leave someone out on accident and I don’t want to do that. But it was an epic day at ChurchTechCamp:.Dallas. About 78 guys and 2 girls from all over the DFW Metroplex, Oklahoma, etc. Too many conversations to mention each one, but great things came out of it, and you will be hearing more about some of the individuals as we spend time together over this next year. But I will give a shout out to Tony Steward who is the brainchild behind ChurchTechCamp. I don’t get to hang out with him too often, so it was a privilege to watch him in action.


#ctcdallas from Tony Steward on Vimeo.

Later that evening I went over to John Dyer’s house for dinner. If you don’t know John Dyer, then you need to know him and his blog, Don’t Eat the Fruit. It is one of my favorite blogs on technology and the church. I’m learning tons from him. He and his wife were gracious hosts and I enjoyed getting to have dinner with Greg Atkinson, John Saddington, Ben Dyer, Ben Jordan, Rick Smith, Camron Ware and Paul. It was awesome, and I will be hanging with all of these guys throughout the year.

johndyer_rhettsmith_johnsaddington1January 9: Well, 5 days of hanging out with John Saddington aka ChurchCrunch guy came to an end. I met John on line a couple of months ago and we were able to hang out for about 2 weeks from the December 28–January 9. I really enjoyed spending time with John and not only did we have fun, but I was really challenged in a lot of ways in many areas of my life. Even though he lives in Atlanta we have struck up a great friendship…I will definitely be crashing his couch in the future.

“Taking Online Community Offline:” What I’m Doing About It And My 2009 Goal

November 17, 2008 in Ministry-Theology with 27 Comments

Great guest post by Leo Wurschmidt over at Church Crunch today, Meatspace Monday 4–CLT WordCamp–Taking the Online Community Offline.

I love the phrase, “taking the online community offline.”

For as big a fan as I am of social media, online community, online communication, etc…..

Here is what I think is social media/new media/technology (whatever you call it) greatest asset:


IT’S ABILITY TO FACILITATE THE MEETING OF PEOPLE IN PERSON.

In my tendency to ramble I could say tons more, but won’t for now. That being said, because it is it’s greatest asset, I have made a goal for 2009.


2009 Goal (as stated on Twitter this last Friday): meet & have coffee with every person in the DFW metroplex that I’m connected to on Twitter, Facebook or my blog. Cool?

I don’t know how I will exactly achieve this goal, but I have some ideas that I’m working on from larger group meet-ups to one on one, small group times. So stay tuned as I talk more about this in the coming month and a half.

Oh, and I’ve already been getting requests for coffee since I sent out that Tweet. If I can just say upfront…I can’t afford to pay for coffee for all of you. So how about we just agree that we all pay for ourselves. Haaa

Leveraging Technology in Your Community

November 10, 2008 in Ministry-Theology with 3 Comments

Two of my passions are technology and community–especially, how technology can be used to create and sustain community, and how it can be used to open up communication.

So I’m real excited that Cynthia Ware has a great, great post/presentation on Leveraging Technology to Support Community
.

Please check it out–it is well worth your time–whether this new or old to you, you will learn a lot.

Leveraging Technology to Support Community
View SlideShare presentation or Upload your own. (tags: homefellowships onlinecommunication)




Below is my 9 Post Series on how you can leverage technology in college ministry.

Formulating an Online Strategy for College Ministry