One of the things that I have been telling myself the last few months is that I want to do a better job of “being present” with others in 2010. 2009 was an awesome year, but I felt overwhelmed, and overextended throughout much of the year. There were lots of reasons for that. Lack of boundaries primarily, but I also realized that I didn’t do a good job of being present (to people, to my surroundings, to my relationships, to God) because I found myself constantly online (on my desktop, or my phone) when I didn’t have something to fill my time. God forbid I actually sit still and do nothing…that I actually observe, watch, pay attention, reflect, pray, etc.

So I turned off my Facebook, blog, Twitter, and barely got online except for a couple of times from December 23–January 4th. Not a real long time. But long enough to feel the pains of having to withdraw (Should refraining from technology for a short period of time feel like a stint in detox? Yikes).

And a curious thing happened. Eventually it got easier not to be online that I almost dreaded coming back online yesterday. And I’m someone who loves being online. But I noticed some things while I was away offline. The key word is noticed.

I noticed that lots of things don’t get my attention when I’m constantly looking at my phone, surfing the web, watching TV, etc. I miss out on the little things. The quirks in our relationships. The hurting person on the street who needs my attention. The change of tone in a conversation that lets you know that something is off. The small, still, quiet voice of God.

But being away from the deluge of media on my phone, computer and TV just brought a new sense of awareness and attention to my life that I haven’t had for a while, and I noticed that those around me felt different about the change as well. They noticed that they were of primary importance to me, rather than some dude on the East coast twittering about something. They noticed that I was more into the details. That I was more present with them.

During this break my wife and I went to see Sherlock Holmes and I kept telling my wife “I want to observe the details like Sherlock Holmes.” I said that over and over. But I know that that is just not a skill or a gift that is given, but one that is cared for and fostered by the person. To be someone who has that skill of observation requires that other things that detract from us paying attention be put aside, or have boundaries placed around it.

The skill of observation and intuition is a huge blessing not only for the bearer of it, but for those who are on the benefiting end of it.

Imagine if I as a therapist had as much skill of observation in session with clients as Sherlock Holmes did in his cases.

Imagine if we as pastors/ministers had as much skill of observation with those that we serve.

Imagine if we as family members (wives, husbands, children, parents) had as much skill of observation with those we are in relationship with.

That would be transforming. Continue Reading…