Tag Archive - fear

Can You Tolerate Your Own Anxiety Long Enough to Grow?

December 1, 2011 in Ministry-Theology, Therapy-Psychology with 1 Comment


[image by Phil Schatz]

The ability to live in the question long enough for genius to emerge is a touchstone of creative success. In fact, a 2008 study published in the Journal of Creative Behavior revealed tolerance for ambiguity to be “significantly and positively related” to creativity.

Uncertainty, Innovation, and the Alchemy of Fear

These words from author Jonathan Fields (Uncertainty: Turning Fear and Doubt into Fuel for Brilliance) reminded me a bit of the poet Rainer Maria Rilke’s words in his work, Letters to a Young Poet:

…I would like to beg you dear Sir, as well as I can, to have patience with everything unresolved in your heart and to try to love the questions themselves as if they were locked rooms or books written in a very foreign language. Don’t search for the answers, which could not be given to you now, because you would not be able to live them. And the point is to live everything. Live the questions now. Perhaps then, someday far in the future, you will gradually, without even noticing it, live your way into the answer.

When we can tolerate, or sit in our own anxiety…it is then, and only then when we are close enough to being in the place to truly discover, grow and be transformed in the process.

But sadly…most of us aren’t able to tolerate our own anxiety long enough to push through our own fears and doubts.

Dealing with issues around depression, anxiety, etc…

July 19, 2009 in Marriage-Family, Technology-Social Media, Therapy-Psychology with 2 Comments

This last week I had the opportunity to drive up to LifeChurch.tv to film 4 video vignettes on the movie Henry Poole is Here. Without sharing too much in this post, the movie does a great job of really capturing some of the more human experiences we go through during difficult times in our lives. So I shot 4 videos, each about 3-5 minutes long dealing with different thoughts on topics such as depression, anxiety/angst, etc.

If you haven’t seen the movie, I really recommend it. Even better yet, check out LifeChurch.tv’s new sermon series, “At the Movies”, with plenty of opportunities this week for you to view online.

So each day this week (Monday-Thursday) you will see a new video vignette from me over at LifeChurch.tv Facebook page, and you will have the opportunity to interact, comment, ask questions, etc. I hope that what I have to share will be of encouragement to you, and I hope that I can point you towards some great resources as well.

Church Online at LifeChurch.tv is a great ministry, and I really appreciate the opportunity they have given me to talk about such important life issues, especially in such a great online venue where the interaction among people is so authentic and real.

So please let me know if I can be of any help this week as I post videos, interact with content, and point you towards resources on the topics of depression, anxiety, fear, anger, etc.

When Should I Go See a Therapist?

July 1, 2009 in Marriage-Family with 6 Comments

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[image by Ted Percival]


This is a great question and was actually brought to my attention by a comments thread over on Facebook. In fact, one can Google this question and you will find a variety of answers, ranging from very specific things, to a more broad and general feeling of “feeling down” or “depressed.”

There is a not a right or wrong answer here, so let me just suggest a few reasons why you might want to go see a therapist.

  1. A general feeling of needing to talk with someone about some various things going on in your life.  These things can be serious (“I feel like taking my own life.” To more general, “I have just been feeling off…not sleeping…and wanted to talk with someone about this.”).


  2. You are looking for an unbiased, non-judging, caring person to listen to you.  In therapy speak, we might refer to this as unconditional positive regard. A lot of people feel like they can’t find this acceptance with friends, family, or their church, so therapy is often a good place to start. Now I’m not saying that all therapist will practice this, but I think really good ones do.


  3. Someone in your circle of influence (friends, family, co-workers) notices that there are some things in your life that are concerning to them, or that they feel like you might need someone to talk to about them.  So often people end up in therapy due to the suggestion and encouragement of others.


  4. Because you want to grow.  Therapy is not all about working on issues of depression, anxiety, fear, etc., but can be a great environment for personal growth (spiritual, emotional, physical, psychological).  There aren’t many places in your life where you can be in an environment that helps you grow , but a therapist is able to get a different perspective and help foster this growth with their experience, knowledge and tools.


  5. You are experiencing some minor or major life transitions.  Divorce.  Marriage.  Pregnancy.  Death.  College.  Career.  Etc.  These transitions and others often bring out new feelings, challenges, fears, etc. in a person, and it’s helpful to have a guide along that journey.


  6. You have no one else to talk to.  This could literally mean you can’t think of anyone to talk to, or there isn’t anyone who would really understand what it is you are going through.


  7. You are wanting anonymity as you seek help and work through the issue.  Therapy operates under very specific ethical guidelines regarding confidentiality, etc., and this may be important to you as you seek help, rather than going to your pastor, family member or friend.


  8. You are more specifically able to identify what it is you are struggling with, and you want a professional to help you.  This could be depression, anxiety, bi-polar, ADHD, fear, adultery, abuse of any kind, etc.


  9. Many of us don’t take the opportunity to explore the deeper meanings in our own life, or to wrestle with key issues of identity.  We often live on the surface, and never get beyond the things in life that just make us feel good and comfortable.  Seeing a therapist is a great opportunity to really find out who you are, and to be known.


  10. You have seen the positive benefits of therapy in the lives of those around you.  So you want to give it a try yourself.


  11. You might not have any reason, but simply the curiousity of the positive ways it could benefit your life are appealing to you.


  12. You are looking for some hope in your life.

Okay, those are just 12 reasons for when I think it would be beneficial for someone to go see a therapist. I’m sure there are more, but this is where you help me out.

What reasons are there for going to see a therapist?

Did any of the above reasons resonate with you?