Tag Archive - compassion

College Students and Empathy: Can Social Media Create a Bystander Effect That Can Inhibit One’s Compassion?

Compassion on the Decline Among College Students

A new study finds that today’s college students are not as empathetic as college students of the 1980s and ’90s.

University of Michigan researchers analyzed data on empathy collected from almost 14,000 college students over the last 30 years.

“We found the biggest drop in empathy after the year 2000,” said Sara Konrath, a researcher at the U-M Institute for Social Research.

“College kids today are about 40 percent lower in empathy than their counterparts of 20 or 30 years ago, as measured by standard tests of this personality trait.”

If the data in this research is accurate enough to extrapolate across college students in general, then I consider myself really blessed to have served alongside some of the most compassionate people during my seven years on staff as the college pastor at Bel Air Presbyterian Church in Los Angeles. So in my own experience this research doesn’t match my reality, but then again I was serving as a college pastor where students were striving to serve God and to serve others in a myriad of ways.

In this 30 year study, researchers have hypothesized several reasons why they think college students in the last 10 years are less compassionate, and less able to empathize, than those students in previous decades.

  1. “The increase in exposure to media during this time period could be one factor,” Konrath said.
  2. The recent rise of social media may also play a role in the drop in empathy, suggests O’Brien.  “The ease of having ‘friends’ online might make people more likely to just tune out when they don’t feel like responding to others’ problems, a behavior that could carry over offline,” he said.
  3. College students today may be so busy worrying about themselves and their own issues that they don’t have time to spend empathizing with others, or at least perceive such time to be limited,” O’Brien said.“College students today may be so busy worrying about themselves and their own issues that they don’t have time to spend empathizing with others, or at least perceive such time to be limited,” O’Brien said.

One of the questions that I asked in the recent post, Technology: Connected, Yet Lonelier Than Ever, was:

I wonder if technology and social media has compressed our relationships into a process that we can barely recognize?

So on the one hand, there is something cool and convenient with clicking a button online that brings us into contact with a person. But on the other hand, the ease and convenience has disconnected us from the process of relationship making.

Has all the technology relationally disconnected us in a sense, replacing the processes (befriending, getting to know each other, sharing life, etc), where instead we just value the end results (number of followers, blog traffic, etc.)

Can social media allows us to keep others at an arm’s length from one another? This can definitely happen in real life as well, but I wonder if social media can exacerbate the bystander effect when it comes to empathizing with others and being compassionately involved? (For a look at some of the more infamous examples of this effect, check out 10 Notorious Cases of the Bystander Effect.

Of course, I could now show you all the wonderful examples of where people have used social media as a means to demonstrate compassion to others. Think of the earthquake in Haiti. The floods in Nashville. The protests in Iran. Etc. Etc.

I guess the question for researchers (and for us) is, are we able to move beyond showing our compassion to others through a click of the button (though there is nothing wrong with that and I hope people keep doing that), and move into situations that may demand more of us than clicking buttons and counting followers?

Maybe this is why each of us plays a various role in the body of Christ? When the body of Christ is working together harmoniously (some online getting involved, others ‘on the ground’ in person involved, others sending money and resources, etc.) it is an unstoppable force.

Haiti Day #4: Displaced People-Displaced God-Displaced Disciples

[image by Anne Jackson of tent city of 5000 in Marassa]

Displaced People
About one month ago one of the most horrific disasters in human history struck the small island of Haiti. In the wake of that destruction thousands upon thousands of lives were lost, and thousands upon thousands of people were displaced. We have had the unbelievable opportunity to walk among and pray and worship with these people who were displaced and have now found themselves sleeping in dirt fields, under tarps, in the rubble of former homes, and in open ravines that will be washed away during the rainy season starting next month. Piled into these tents are entire families ranging from five to twenty-five.

Displaced lives.

Displaced families.

In a displaced community.

Displaced God
One of the questions that has been going round and round in my mind is “How can these people who have suffered so greatly, worship and praise God in the midst of picking up the pieces? Because I’m not sure if I could do it. I’m not so sure that if such a tragedy came upon me that I would have even half of the hopeful spirit that the Haitians have displayed to us over and over again during our time here.

This spirit of hope and faith and love is not something that I saw on the news at night. It’s not a story you will read in the papers or online. While the rest of the mainstream media is talking about all of the destruction and mourning, they have failed to see the whole story. There has been no coverage of all the people pouring into churches by the thousands all over the city. Instead of a day of mourning, it has been days and days of hope and praise. A country in transition. In search of change.

How can the Haitians praise God when many of their lives have been destroyed, and they are deprived of basic needs like food, water, shelter, medical care and security?

I believe it’s because they, like us, worship a displaced God.

Immanuel.

God is with us.

God who took on flesh.

God who has experienced our pains.

“The Lord, whose compassion we want to manifest in time and place, is indeed the displaced Lord. Paul describes Jesus as the one who voluntarily displaced himself. ‘His state was divine, yet he did not cling to his equality with God but emptied himself to assume the condition of a slave, and became as we are’ (Phil. 2:6-7). A greater displacement cannot be conceived. The mystery of the incarnation is that God did not remain in the place that was proper for him but moved to the condition of a suffering human being. God gave up his heavenly place and took a humble place among mortal men and women. God displaced himself so that nothing human would be alien to him and he could experience fully the brokenness of our human condition….In the life of Jesus, we see how this divine displacement becomes visible in a human story….Jesus Christ is the displaced Lord in whom God’s compassion becomes flesh. In him, we see a life of displacement lived to the fullest. It is in following our displaced Lord that the Christian community is formed. (Compassion: A Reflection on the Christian Life by Nouwen, McNeill & Morrison, pp. 64-66)

Displaced Disciples
Displaced lives…who worship a displaced God…become a displaced community full of hope and joy.

That is what I believe. Because nothing else, beyond something supernatural can describe what I have seen and experienced these last few days.

This morning we walked into a tent city of approximately 5000 people who were living in a ravine that will be washed out in the next month. We were invited in this morning to pray for healing for these people. It was a humbling experience. We found ourselves walking down a windy dirt trail through tents (which are really torn tarps tied together), while smiling faces peeked out from them. The farther and farther I walked the louder and louder the music became, until finally I came to a make shift house of worship. They had brought in drums, and a keyboard and microphone (which ran on a gasoline powered generator).

In the midst of their displacement, they formed a house of worship in a sea of tents, spread out as far as the eye could see.

For a moment I had a glimpse of what it must have looked like for the LORD to lead the displaced Israelites through the desert.

As the music got louder and louder, more and more people began streaming through the aisles of tents and made their way into their house of worship. It was at that time that our team leader Seth Barnes tapped me and my friend Jeremy Zach on the shoulders and said we were going to be the pastors for the service.

As we made our way to the front I tried to figure out what I was going to say, but again, words were sparse. I simply told them that I was humbled to be in their midst. And though I have been a Christian my whole life, I have never experienced such an amazing time of worship. Moving out of the tent people streamed to us to pray for their healing and for an hour and half our entire team prayed non-stop for any individual or family that wanted prayer. It was non-stop.

There was tears.

There was laughter.

There was praise.

We — in our weak and vulnerable state, were simply able to be present with a displaced and hurting people. And in that community we came in

[video by Anne Jackson of people worshipping God in Marassa]

Some Initial Thoughts On My Upcoming Trip to Haiti

“Compassion asks us to go where it hurts, to enter into places of pain, to share in brokenness, fear, confusion, and anguish. Compassion challenges us to cry out with those in misery, to mourn with those who are lonely, to weep with those in tears. Compassion requires us to be weak with the weak, vulnerable with the vulnerable, and powerless with the powerless. Compassion means full immersion in the condition of being human. When we look at compassion this way, it becomes clear that something more is involved than a general kindness or tenderheartedness. It is not surprising that compassion, understood as suffering with, often evokes in us a deep resistance and even protest.” (Compassion: Reflections on the Christian Life by Nouwen, McNeill and Morrison, pp. 4).

Going to Haiti…
On Sunday night I received a most unexpected call asking me if I wanted to join a small team of people traveling to Haiti from February 11-17th. I was initially shocked by the opportunity, then anxiety quickly set in as I was informed I would have less than 24 hours to make the decision. And then slowly a little bit of fear set in as this would be one of the rare times of international travel that I would have to do since becoming a father. One thinks about life differently when they are single, than when they are a father, husband (and soon to be father to our second child). Other things to consider now.

As I got off the phone and talked with my wife I was hoping that she would not be too keen to the idea, and would even possibly help me say no to the opportunity. At least that’s what I think I wanted outwardly, but inwardly I was hoping she would give me the green light for the trip. I wanted to make sure that this was a decision we were both comfortable with. So when she said,

“I think this is an amazing opportunity, and I think you should go.”

I was sort of relieved, but then the anxiety kicked up a notch. My two and half year old daughter heard us talking and she said to me,

“Daddy, I want to go too.”

And I said to her,

“You want to go to Haiti with me?”

To which she replied,

“I have to get dressed first.”

I know there is a sermon analogy in there somewhere about the willingness of a child to faithfully follow their father without question. Continue Reading…