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The Necessity of Ascent and Descent in the Male Spiritual Life (Pay Attention Spiritual Leaders!)

January 13, 2010 in Ministry-Theology, Therapy-Psychology with 5 Comments

I’ve recently been reading a really phenomenal book by Richard Rohr and Joseph Martos, The Wild Man’s Journey: Reflections on Male Spirituality. One of the things that I have continually be thinking about is the distinction the authors make between ascent (which is common in the early stages of a man’s life and dangerous in the later stages), and descent (which is required in the later stages of a man’s life). We live in a culture where ascent is favored and applauded, and descent is looked down upon with disdain often seen as weakness. When this desire for ascent seeps into our church culture (and it has), we fail to live the counterculture message of descent offered to us through scripture. I fear that we too often live in a Christian culture of egos and desires to attain (large crowds, fame, wealth, etc.), rather than in a culture that strives to walk humbly (in order that Christ may be raised up) and lay down it’s life for others.

Because I think this is such an important topic, especially for male leadership within the Church and in society, I’m going to quote at great length from the book.

They write:

The language of the first half of the male life-journey is the language of ascent, the earnest and necessary idealism that characterizes all healthy young men. It is a heroic language of winning, succeeding, triumphing over ego and obstacles. Without such vision and effort, men remain cowering in a small and selfish world. No wonder that they set out to be ‘wounded’ — either intentionally or unintentionally, either wisely or foolishly. No wonder that almost all primal cultures see the need for male initiation rites, mentors and elders. Someone has to oversee the first-stage journey and also teach them that it is only the first stage. Talk about wisdom! We suffer today a lack of knowledge of both initiation and transition to maturity. Without these, we will continue to have more ‘religion,’ without spirituality or real transformation of person. I have no doubt this is the basis of disillusionment with Western institutional religion. People no longer trust new belief systems that merely surround old egos.

The language of the ascent becomes dangerous in the second half of a man’s life. It becomes disguised egocentricity, climbing at all costs, misusing power, using ideology and principles to avoid relationship–what Saint Paul calls law instead of Spirit in his Letter to the Galatians. Continue Reading…

“Introverts in the Church” — Interview with Adam S. McHugh/Part 2

December 17, 2009 in Ministry-Theology, Technology-Social Media, Therapy-Psychology with 5 Comments

On Tuesday I posted the first part of my interview with Adam McHugh (“Introverts in the Church” — Interview with Adam S. McHugh/Part 1), whom you can find blogging and writing here. As I’ve already said about a million times already, his new book, Introverts in the Church: Finding Our Place in an Extroverted Culture is a great book. It’s not too late to pick it up for Christmas…for the introverts and extroverts in your life. Everyone needs to read it. And I will go as far to say that if you are in ministry, it would be a shame if you didn’t read it–I think you would be missing out on a piece of the puzzle when it comes to how you serve, minister, understand and raise up other leaders.

Here is part 2:

R: What are the 2-3 most important things that can introverts teach us?

A: I’m glad you asked this question, because too often it seems that introversion is viewed as a liability, rather than a gift. I know I’ve been guilty of defining introversion in terms of what I’m not rather than what I am. Here are the two most important things I think introverts bring to the church: 1. The value of listening and 2. The need to slow down.

People in our culture so rarely have the experience of being truly listened to, of being given the space to express what’s on their hearts. Too often we speak over one another, interrupt one another, compete for space to speak. Because introverts process internally, and consider what they say before they speak, they can be incredible listeners. We offer a non-judgmental presence that helps others open up to us. Now, there’s more to listening than just not speaking, and it’s a discipline to be cultivated (my next book is about listening!), but introverts have a good start in becoming excellent listeners, communicating deep love for others through listening. I think listening is a tremendous asset in evangelism, which I talk about in chapter 8. Second, introverts often lead a slower, quieter, more contemplative lifestyle and we help people in our fast-paced culture slow down. We bring a calming presence to people and to our churches. Modern-day evangelicalism tends to be so full, so busy, so hurried and weighed down by agendas, and I say in the book that introverts are part of the antidote to what ails evangelical culture.

R: Let me throw out a couple of technologies that are being used in the Church and let me just get your response in regard to introverts. What would introverts think of twittering in the church? How about online church?

A: I knew you were going to ask me this! I’ll say first that, as an introvert, I am grateful for social media like Facebook and Twitter. It has helped me make connections, and deepen relationships, with people that I just don’t have the energy for in face-to-face situations. I’m often much better in writing than I am in person. But I do think there are inherent dangers in online communication, especially when it becomes a substitute for in-person relationships, and I worry when introverts spend far more time online than they do with people. Again, I address these issues in the book.

Twitter in church seems to be becoming the 21st century version of note-taking, but I actually think it’s an extroverted form of processing. Since it’s not acceptable to talk during a sermon, tweeting is a way that extroverts can think “aloud.” As a preacher, I can’t say I’m wild about the idea of people tweeting while I’m preaching. It seems like people in our technologically driven culture are in so many places at once, and perhaps worship should be one time a week that we seek to bring all of ourselves into unity– heart, mind, soul, body, and typing fingers.

As far as online church, I’m ambivalent. For people in countries where Christianity is banned, and for those people who simply will not cross the threshold of a church, then it’s a great thing. But, no matter how introverted you are, we all need embodied relationships and if we can’t find them in the body of Christ, then I’m not sure where we can find them. Second, people who are uncomfortable being in church are usually not resisting church attendance because of introversion but because of shyness, experiences of rejection, and other wounds. If we have been wounded by people and churches, then it seems to me that full healing will actually come when we find those people and churches, who communicate, in full, embodied form, the gentleness, compassion, and love of Jesus. I’m really grateful that the Son of God didn’t just get on a web-cam in heaven but actually incarnated into full human form and walked and lived among us. Online church may be an excellent step for many of those people, but my hope is that it is only a step.

R: What do you think is the most important takeaway for ministry for pastors who read this book? What will pastors learn from this book that will equip them better as a leader?

I devote two chapters in the book trying to demonstrate how pastors and other Christian leaders don’t have to keep masquerading as extroverts and can actually lead as introverts. That’s the main takeaway: lead as yourselves!! In chapter 6 I draw from biblical models of leadership, which center around character not personality, as well as models of leadership from the corporate and non-profit worlds which emphasize servant leadership, humility, reflection, and introspection. In chapter 7, the longest chapter, I go into ministry practicals for introverted leaders and discuss partnering with extroverts, following the model of Jesus in investing in “the few,” preaching as an introvert, and tailoring our jobs and schedules to suit our introverted rhythms and strengths.

R: I think you do a great job of dispelling the myth that those who retreated to the desert or to solitude were doing so to escape. Instead you seem to say that when we seek solitude we are better able to move forward into action because of the contemplation/solitude. Is that an accurate statement?

Henri Nouwen said that compassion is the fruit of solitude. When we go deep into ourselves and invite God to show us as we truly are, we find true identity. We find the good things about ourselves, our gifts, and also the ugly things – the jealousy, the fear, the anger, the desire to objectify and control others – but if we open ourselves to God’s grace in those ugly places, we can find deep compassion both for ourselves and for others. That compassion propels us to action and to works of mercy and justice. Before Jesus began his public ministry, he spent 40 days in the wilderness with only the word of God to sustain him. Throughout the history of the church, great leaders and highly influential people like St. Anthony, St. Patrick, Martin Luther, and countless others have found the impetus to love and to lead in solitude.

“Introverts in the Church” — Interview with Adam S. McHugh/Part 1

December 15, 2009 in Ministry-Theology, Therapy-Psychology with 16 Comments

Back in the early part of the fall I made a comment on Twitter about being exhausted from all the deep conversations I was involved in at a conference, and Adam McHugh wrote an @reply to me asking if I was an introvert. It was an interesting observation and comment, and a question I have never really been asked before. Later that weekend I had the chance to chat briefly with Adam at the Christian Web Conference about his then soon to be released book Introverts in the Church: Finding Our Place in an Extroverted Culture. I told Adam that I would love to have a copy of his book to read and review for my blog, not thinking much about it after that.

Then in early November I received a copy from InterVarsity Press, and once I began reading the book I couldn’t put it down. In fact, I was sad to finish it. You know a book is a good book when you are sad it’s over. In fact, I think it was a great book.

Let me just briefly say what I loved the book so much and why I think it’s a must read for people, especially those in ministry positions, whether paid or volunteer. Scot McKnight in his review said, “We need this book, and every (especially an extroverted) pastor needs to read it.” Totally agree. For me the book has done several very important things:

Has totally shifted my perspective on how I view leadership, and more importantly, how I recruit/raise up leaders especially in a ministry context.
Has me re-evaluating my own personality characteristics, and where I fall on the introverted/extroverted paradigm.
Has helped me understand that knowledge of introversion/extroversion can better aid someone in understanding vocation, gifting and calling.
Has given me a better sensitivity to what extroverted practices take place in the church and how it may actually stand as a hindrance to a large population of church goers who are introverts (i.e. required small groups, fellowship/gathering times, lack of silence, etc.)
Has helped demonstrate how much of the extroverted leadership in the church can actually discriminate against introverts, as well as making introverts feel like less of a Christian because they don’t meet extroverted expectations of what Christianity should be like.
Has put in to context how introverts can better serve in the church, and what role they may play in actually saving and redeeming parts of church culture that extroverts can not.

But now I have the privilege to bring you the first part of my two part interview with Adam about the book.

R: As I was reading through the book I was wondering if there was a catalyst to you writing the book (event, conversation, etc.)? As an introvert you had a desire to write about that topic and ministry but I was wondering what compelled you to write a book on it?

A: Honestly, the book began as somewhat of a personal apologetic, but I soon understood how I was speaking for many introverted believers out there who feel displaced in their churches, particularly evangelical churches. I knew that I was called to be a leader in the church, but I so often found my introversion to be at odds with the expectations for pastors. As I started talking with others about my questions, I realized how many other people – some pastors and some not – were asking many of the same questions. I was leading a group of introverted leaders at the time these ideas were taking root in my mind, and our leadership meetings became a sort of lab for introverted ministry, evangelism, spirituality, and leadership. And as an introvert, writing is a very natural outlet for my thoughts, and so the logical step was to write a book!

R: You dedicate a chapter to “finding healing” as you state that many introvert’s wounds begin in childhood. Would you say that finding healing as an introvert is essential for growth, moving forward, working in ministry, etc.? Why?

A: I can’t speak for every introvert, obviously, but in my interviews and conversations with my fellow introverts, the topic of wounds and healing came up frequently. Because much of our culture idealizes extroverted ways of thinking and acting, many introverted children become confused or depressed, especially when their parents are extroverts and constantly push them into social activities. Sometimes teachers mistake introversion as unintelligence or anti-social behavior. In other case, people label introverts as shy or timid or passive or standoffish, and unfortunately sometimes we end up becoming what people say we are. We feel rejected, so we reject others and isolate ourselves. All of these things put us in need of healing, both an inner healing as we re-discover our God-given identities and how profoundly we are loved, and an outer healing in our relationships and ability to participate meaningfully in community, in the ways we are individually called to participate.

R: From your research, what did you find to be the most difficult aspect of church culture for introverts? Why do you think that is?

A: There are a few difficult elements in church culture for introverts – like mingling fellowship and greeting times, certain methods of evangelism, or required small groups – but I think I would answer that question more abstractly. I think many churches implicitly, or sometimes explicitly, promote certain “ideals” of faithfulness that actually have as much to do with cultural norms as they have to do with biblical values. The “ideal” believer is one who is social and gregarious, assumes leadership positions quickly, participates eagerly in a wide variety of events, groups, and teams, opens their home up often to church groups, is well acquainted with many people in the community, witnesses to strangers often, and the list goes on. The problem is that that “ideal” person is an extrovert, and introverts often end up feeling spiritually inadequate and marginalized, or else masquerade as extroverts but still end up feeling exhausted and discouraged. In my book I talk about how introverts can both live the Christian life as themselves, and I also give suggestions for how churches can encourage introverts to live and love authentically.

R: You say that we all have extroverted and introverted qualities in our personality, but I was wondering how one ultimately determines which way they lean? Is it the energy source?

A: Yes, that’s the main distinctive. Where we fall on the introvert/extrovert spectrum starts with where we find our energy. All our personalities move in two directions: 1. Extroversion – outwards, towards the external world of people and objects and experiences and 2. Introversion – inward, towards our thoughts, impressions, ideas, and feelings. But most of us have a preference towards one of these directions, and we find our primary energy from one of those worlds. Introverts, as much as they may enjoy socializing and people, lose energy in that arena and find their energy renewed through solitude or through deep conversation with a close friend. Extroverts, as much they need times of solitude, find themselves energized in interaction and movement. These tendencies play a large role in determining the rhythms, habits, and behaviors that we live by.

R: Burnout seems to be a bigger topic these days in evangelical circles as more leaders are addressing the issue of it in church leadership (i.e. Anne Jackson, Wayne Cordeiro). How important is it for an introvert, or extrovert for that matter, to really determine the best position for their gifting in order to avoid burnout?

A: And thank God it is a bigger topic nowadays! I love Anne’s book Mad Church Disease and recommend it to all the leaders I know. While all leaders are vulnerable to burnout, I do think that introverted leaders are more susceptible, since we have less social energy and when we have long standing patterns of overexerting ourselves, we are in danger of compassion fatigue and depression. I do think it’s important for us to find positions that enable us to major on our gifts, since the power of the Holy Spirit flows through the gifts God gives us. At the same time, through my diverse experiences in ministry, I’ve learned that we’ll always have to do things that are uncomfortable, risky, and unnatural, and that that is part of taking up our cross and allowing God’s strength to move through our weaknesses. And God often calls unlikely people to do tasks we could never do on our own. While we can’t determine our calling, we can protect our souls so that we can have life and joy in ministry. I think self-care is absolutely critical for introverts in leadership capacities; we need to find our rhythms for engagement and retreat, carve out niches of solitudes in our days and weeks, practice spiritual disciplines like silence and solitude, and cultivate our most important relationships.

Check out part 2 of our interview later this week.

Also, check out Adam’s blog here.

Can You Be “Fully Present” Relationally If You Are Tweeting In Your Wedding, Church Service and Marital Interactions…

December 2, 2009 in Marriage-Family, Ministry-Theology, Technology-Social Media, Therapy-Psychology with 9 Comments

At the Cultivate Conference in October I was really impressed with John Acuff’s thoughts on satire. He basically said (loosely paraphrased) that for him satire was blowing something up so big (larger than life), so that we can sort of step back and see ourselves in it. For John, it’s blowing up and satarizing Christian culture. It’s like a mirror reflecting back on what we do, and who we are.

Though this is not satire, watching the video below gave me an opportunity to step back and gain a new perspective on our use of technology and how it is permeating our lives. If you haven’t seen the video yet, check it out below. The groom was basically updating his facebook and twitter status at the altar (mind you, without his bride in on this).

Twittering in Church and Weddings
I have been thinking a lot about the use of technology in our lives and how it affects our relationships, but it took seeing this video to give me some more clarity on the subject, and help me think beyond the use of technology just in this specific situation.

Let me be up front and say that each person can decide what they want to do in their wedding. Everyone has their own ideas, from traditional to more casual. I tend to come from a more traditional camp, holding basically the idea that our wedding ceremony is a worship service where others participate in our union of becoming one before Christ. That is pretty sacred, so I tend to be more traditional. So as I watched the video it tended to rub me the wrong way. But here is why…..

Some Observations on Social Media and the Emerging World of Therapy and Pastoral Counseling

November 30, 2009 in Marriage-Family, Ministry-Theology, Technology-Social Media, Therapy-Psychology with 3 Comments

[image by Ben Zvan]

I’ve been thinking a lot about the topic of social media and the role of therapists (pastoral counselors) in the midst of it. There is a large percentage of therapists who thinks being online should be super limited, if online at all. And there is an emerging demographic of therapists who are making a splash online and venturing forth to help people in some unprecedented ways. As I work through these things myself, I just wanted to share 3 areas that I have some observations about.

Online Social Media As Catalyst for Face to Face Therapy
Back in July of 2009 I was invited by Tony Steward to come to LifeChurch.tv and film four short videos on depression that correlated with their At the Movies series. It was a great opportunity to work with Tony and the team at LifeChurch.tv; to experiment with online technology/social media around the topic of depression; and to see how online accessibility affected my work as a therapist and a counselor.

Several things came out of our time together that are continuing to blossom, and I’m learning a great deal about combining my work as a therapist in an online medium. One of the real beautiful stories that emerged out of that experience was that I was contacted on Twitter by someone who had come across my video and said “I felt like you were speaking directly to me…yet, you didn’t know me.” That video, led to a Tweet, to an email conversation, to face to face therapy. That’s an amazing story I think.

I continue to receive emails from those videos I shot, and I also continue to follow up on people’s progress who emailed me on Facebook about things they were going through.

We will continue to see social media as a catalyst to help get people into therapy–either face to face in person, or face to face online.

Being Accessible to Help
One of the things about being online, present on Twitter, Facebook or a blog is that you present the image of being accessible. I say present the image of being accessible because not everyone online is accessible. Continue Reading…

A Pastor’s Dilemma: Responsibilities, Limitations and Questions to Ask About Counseling

November 23, 2009 in Marriage-Family, Ministry-Theology, Therapy-Psychology with 5 Comments

[image by dcfdelacruz]

I made a comment on Twitter the other night that went something like this:

Feel blog post coming on about how dangerous it is when pastors ignore serious mental health issues & blame it on spiritual problems

And from that I received a lot of interesting feedback–mostly people saying, yes, I agree. Blog about it. But after sitting on the topic a few days my post is hopefully more helpful to you than the initial rant that ran through my head that night.

Why Pastors Don’t Refer
As pastors we have lots of things going for us. Usually we are good with people and that’s how we ended up in ministry in the first place. People feel safe talking to us, and want to talk with us. We are told we are good listeners and have helped solve their problems. A lot of times we have a great education with a variety of gifts that manifest itself in the ministry we serve in. I think one of the two, or that combination can trick us into believing that we can and should help everyone who comes to us. And this is where I think pastors fall into trouble when it comes to knowing what to do with someone, or why they should refer out to a professional therapist and counselor. Here are some of the roadblocks I think pastors face:

Ego/Naivete: We have certain gifts; we have been told we have those gifts, therefore we think we can help anyone. We become/or think we have become a wonderworker. This happens because of ego, but I also think because of naivete. We fail to operate within limits, or even acknowledge we have limits.

Confusion: We aren’t sure what the counseling/therapy process looks like, nor who to send people to see.

Don’t Care for Themselves: Pastors often don’t care for themselves, so it’s not surprisingly they are unable to help others seek care also.

Time Constraints: Pastors have a lot on their hands, and though caring for the congregation is supposed to be important, that task usually falls through the cracks or is assigned to only one person. Often the time constraints remove the pastor from the process of helping that person seek the proper help.

Fear of Unknown: Like confusion, many pastors just have a fear of the unknown. They are unfamiliar with therapy practices, or who the people in their community they can refer people to are. They also might not truly believe in therapy and counseling, and so there is a fear of sending people to see someone.

One of the reasons I’m passionate about this topic is because I have been a pastor for the last 12 years, spent my youth volunteering in the church, and I’m a PK myself, so I have been around the church a lot. And this is an area that I think we sometimes are weak in, or rather, need more education in.

For example, if someone needs help, who should you send them to? Who you send them to will probably be indicative upon your theological beliefs and assumptions about therapy. There are lots of resources and a variety of options: For example:

Do I send them to someone who is AAPC, certified? Or maybe they need to belong to the American Association of Christian Counselors or the Association of Biblical Counselors? Or maybe they need to be trained in Nouthetic Counseling? Or maybe they should be licensed through the state such as an AAMFT or an LPC? Or what about seeing a Spiritual Director (i.e. Shalem Institute)?

Questions Pastors Should Ask Themselves
As pastors I believe we all share a responsibility in caring for those in our congregation and those that specifically come to see us for help. We have been gifted in many ways to do that, but we also have to be responsible and discerning, and ask ourselves some questions. I asked myself similar questions during my time as a college pastor (2001-2008). And during that time I realized that I was dealing with student issues that were way beyond any type of training that I received in seminary or anywhere else. And even though I felt competent to do many things with an MDiv., I ultimately went back to school to get an MFT. I figured that way I could better help those who came to me, and if I couldn’t I would still continue to refer out as I had been doing. Continue Reading…

Providing Understanding for Parent’s Experiences Around Their Kids and Technology

November 12, 2009 in Marriage-Family, Ministry-Theology, Technology-Social Media, Therapy-Psychology with 1 Comment

[image by Jeremy]

More and more recently I have been afforded some great opportunities to work with parents around the issue of their kids and technology. There have been some great conversations taking place in the context of therapy, church ministry and some conferences and workshops I have been fortunate enough to play a role in.

Last night the National Coalition for the Protection of Children and Families did a presentation at HPPC on kids and technology, and they asked me to sit in as one of the panel guests in order to help facilitate some of my own thoughts on the presentation and questions that parents might present.

Lars Rood, John Dyer and I did a technology presentation for parents at HPPC back in September, so this was really another opportunity for me to think through some of the primary questions that parents have been raising regarding this topic.

One of the things I have been noticing (and this isn’t different than other parts of the population at large) is that there are a few primary emotions parents tend to experience and express when the topic of their kids and technology is discussed. First, there is fear. Fear of the unknown. Fear of the negative possibilities/opportunities that technology can create for kids. Second, there is naivete. And I don’t say that as a criticism. Rather, it’s the reality–kids are always going to be a step or two ahead of their parents when it comes to technology. So that can create a naiveness on the part of parents. They just may not know what technological tools or social media venues are available to their kids. Sometimes this naivete can put their kids at risk. Third, there is a feeling of defeat. Parents can feel so overwhelmed that they just feel defeated, often choosing to just ignore the issue and let their kids navigate the technological landscape themselves.

These are some of the observations I have made, and I know there are probably more. When you think of these emotions (fear, naivete, defeat), they tend to be more negative and critical in nature. So what I really see as my job, mission and passion is to try and help either remove these emotions from parents, or at least–help parents understand some things about their kids and technology. And hopefully understanding will bring less fear, less naivete and less defeat.

So last night one of the things I wanted to communicate to parents are four reasons why I think technology plays such a big role in their kid’s lives. These are the thoughts I shared:

Technology and the tools of social media decentralize and flatten the hierarchy: What kid doesn’t love this? Not only do we like it as adults, but kids, especially teenagers love any tool that decentralizes authority and gives them opportunities to participate, rebel, serve, create, etc.
Technology and the tools of social media allow for a participatory culture: Because of the decentralization and flattening of hierarchy, kids are better able to participate, and possibly more willing to participate. An “architecture of participation” is something I have blogged about numerous times before. Continue Reading…

Self-Care Is Not Just About Doing, But About Being–And Some Books for the Journey

October 13, 2009 in Ministry-Theology, Therapy-Psychology with 7 Comments

[image by Tamara Areshian]

In my last post, When You Refuse To Take Care Of Yourself, You Are Refusing To Take Care Of Those Around You, I just briefly reflected on some comments by Rob Bell at the Catalyst Conference 2009 and how I felt they played into self-care.

Self-care is a large topic. For example, what does it mean? I know there are lots of different definitions, but I tend to think of it in terms of how one cares for themselves physically, spiritually, emotionally (psychologically). Anne Jackson adds a fourth one talking about relational health. These things involve some basic things that are sometimes difficult to integrate into our daily lives. Things like getting enough good sleep. Eating well. Setting personal boundaries. Exercising. Spiritual devotion and exercises. Etc.

A couple of observations.

Self-care just isn’t about doing the right things–it’s really a way of thinking that is connected to our identity and who we are as people. So it doesn’t matter too much if you do all the right exercises, but deep down inside you have a distorted view of who you are. Going through the motions is not the same thing as caring for one’s self.

You might say that self-care is as much about being as doing.

Also, the amount of literature on this topic is glaringly absent in many Protestant, Evangelical circles. Please tell me I’m wrong and point me towards it, and then I will stand corrected. I’m not saying there isn’t any period–I’m just saying that Protestant, especially Evangelical theology tends to leave out the topic of self-care. It’s often the Catholic literature that one must turn towards to find any help on this issue. And many have as I have.

Again, we tend to want to go do something…to fix something. That is the wrong view to take on self-care. Ultimately there are some things that we do do…but it’s as much about who we are and about being, rather than doing. That’s a difficult concept for many people who equate doing and busyness with godliness, spirituality, success in ministry, etc.

So what I want to do is recommend some books that I think do a good job of blending two things together: 1) Getting at the root of self-care, and issues around identity, and how they play out in our behavior. So don’t go in expecting just to find a to do list. These are books that get at the roof of the matter, and often that will take you to an uncomfortable, but necessary place. 2) Providing some practical steps for self-care and things that you can practice and hopefully integrate into your daily life.

There are lots and lots of books that I can recommend, but let me start with some basic, very accessible books that I think are MUST READS. Yes, I did say MUST READS. But then again–I’m biased. So I will start with a list of 11 (10 books and a novel series) for you. Every one of them is great and has deeply influenced my life in some profound ways around the issues of how one’s identity and being shapes their view of self-care.

In the Name of Jesus: Reflections on Christian Leadership by Henri Nouwen.
The Way of the Heart by Henri Nouwen.
The Inner Voice of Love: A Journey Through Anguish to Freedom by Henri Nouwen.
Let Your Life Speak: Listening for the Voice of Vocation by Parker Palmer.
A Hidden Wholeness: The Journey Toward an Undivided Life by Parker Palmer.
Mad Church Disease: Overcoming the Burnout Epidemic by Anne Jackson.
Leading on Empty: Refilling Your Tank and Renewing Your Passion by Wayne Cordeiro.
Purity of Heart Is To Will One Thing by Soren Kierkegaard.
The New Man by Thomas Merton.
The Critical Journey: Stages in the Life of Faith by Janet O. Hagberg and Robert A. Guelich
The Starbridge Series by Susan Howatch (6 novels in that series–this series gives you a close up look of those involved in ministry and what happens when issues around self-care, identity, boundaries, etc. are ignored–fascinating reading).

So please add to my list and tell me what books have helped you out in this area of self-care.

Cultivate 2009: My Interview with Matt Knisely, And Why You Should Attend

September 15, 2009 in Ministry-Theology, Technology-Social Media with 1 Comment

The Cultivate Conference in Chicago is getting closer every day.

Two weeks ago I posted my interview with Carlos Whitaker [aka Ragamuffinsoul], and last week I posted my interview with Cynthia Ware of the Digital Sanctuary. Check it out.

This week I’m talking with Matt Knisely of the blog Visual Storyteller.

Cultivate 2009: My Interview with Cynthia Ware, and Why You Should Attend

September 8, 2009 in Ministry-Theology, Technology-Social Media with 2 Comments

The Cultivate Conference in Chicago is only about 6 weeks away and I’m getting more and more excited everyday with the number of amazing people that are showing up to participate.

Last week I posted my interview with Carlos Whitaker [aka Ragamuffinsoul], and he gave some phenomenal reasons for why he is attending, and WHY YOU TOO should attend.

This week I’m posting my interview with Cynthia Ware of the Digital Sanctuary. Check it out.

If you are attending Cultivate, comment and let us know what drew you to the conference. If you aren’t we hope you change your mind and that we see you next month.