Tag Archive - calling

Identity & Relationality

March 23, 2009 in Ministry-Theology, Therapy-Psychology with 4 Comments

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“The Quaker teacher Douglas Steere was fond of saying that the ancient human question ‘Who am I?’ leads inevitably to the equally important question, ‘Whose am I?’–for there is no selfhood outside of relationship. We must ask the question of selfhood and answer it as honestly as we can, no matter where it takes us. Only as we do so can we discover the community of our lives.

As I learn more about the seed of true self that was planted when I was born, I also learn more about the ecosystem in which I was planted–the network of communal relationships in which I am called to live responsively, accountably and joyfully with beings of every sort. Only when I know both seed and system, self and community, can I embody the great commandment to love both my neighbor and myself.” (pp. 17-Let Your Life Speak: Listening for the Voice of Vocation by Parker Palmer)

I love that excerpt from the book. It really expands the whole concept of identity and vocation as being simply about “me”, “I”, et cetera and expands it to the community and the relationships that we have. It is one thing to ask questions about and wrestle with what I should do, but it’s a completely different thing to ponder about whom I’m to live out my vocation before, and from whom am I to gain a sense of identity from. For Palmer and others, any sense of identity comes from the relationships that we are a part of, and outside of those relationship, we do not get a clear picture of our own identity.

Let’s play this out:

  • As Christians we gain our sense of identity in our relationship with Jesus Christ. Outside of this relationship with Jesus Christ our lives bear no meaning and our sense of calling, vocation and work is lost. Think about who you would be without your relationship with Jesus Christ? Is it Christ that helps give shape to your identity and meaning to your vocation and calling? Continue Reading…

Identity in Weakness

March 19, 2009 in Ministry-Theology, Therapy-Psychology with 5 Comments

weaknessThis post is an ongoing reflection on the book Let Your Life Speak: Listening for the Voice of Vocation by Parker Palmer.

“But he said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.” 2 Corinthians 12:9

In the previous post I discussed the issue of our limitations. That we live within the tension of facing both our potential and possibilities when it comes to career, calling, vocation, as well as facing our limitations and how that may shape, form or guide our direction.

We sometimes are trapped in language games and when we don’t use the right word we can sometimes fail to really understand or grasp what we are talking about or the issue at hand.

Continue Reading…

Limits and Potential: Living Free Within That Tension

March 16, 2009 in Ministry-Theology, Therapy-Psychology with 5 Comments

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“Everything in the universe has a nature, which means limits as well as potentials, a truth well known by people who work daily with the things of the world. Making pottery, for example, involves more than telling the clay what to become. The clay presses back on the potter’s hands, telling her what it can and cannot do–and if she fails to listen, the outcome will be both frail and ungainly. Engineering involves more than telling materials what they must do. If the engineer does not honor the nature of the steel or the wood or the stone, his failure will go beyond aesthetics: the bridge or the building will collapse and put human life in peril.

The human self also has a nature, limits as well as potentials. If you seek vocation without understanding the material you are working with, what you build with your life will be ungainly and may well put lives in peril, your own and some of those around you. “Faking it” in the service of high values is no virtue and has nothing to do with vocation. It is an ignorant, sometimes arrogant, attempt to override one’s nature, and it will always fail.
Continue Reading…

Reclaimining Our “Birthright Gifts”

March 11, 2009 in Ministry-Theology, Therapy-Psychology with 4 Comments

hand_of_love“We arrive in this world with birthright gifts–then we spend the first half of our lives abandoning them or letting other disabuse us of them. As young people, we are surrounded by expectations that may have little to do with who we really are, expectations held by people who are not trying to discern our selfhood but to fit us into slots. In families, schools, workplaces, and religious communities, we are trained away from true self toward images of acceptability; under social pressures like racism and sexism our original shape is deformed beyond recognition; and we ourselves, driven by fear, too many often betray true self to gain the approval of others.” (Let Your Life Speak by Parker Palmer, pp. 12)

As I continue to revisit Let Your Life Speak: Listening for the Voice of Vocation by Parker Palmer, I was really struck by this quote of his. At the age of 34 I’m just now beginning to realize how much of what I do and have done is driven by the pressure to fit in. By the pressure to please others. By the pressure to perform. By the pressure to climb to the top. A lot of those expectations drove me to do some really great things, but as I reflect more on my life, those great things have not always been congruent with who I am, or what Parker would refer to as one’s true self.

As the son of a pastor I was slotted early on to continue the vocation of ministry. Those were not the expectations of my father or probably most of my family, but those were some of the expectations from those around me, and the unsconscious expectations from myself to veer toward a vocation that would be praised and revered. I think that is what drove me early on to enter into ministry, but that is hopefully what no longer keeps me there.

Confession: It is only after some extensive self-searching, prayer, working with my therapist, spiritual mentors, etc. have I come to embrace my “birthright gifts” and become less concerned with the expectations of others.

What “birthright gifts” do you have that you felt like you have abandoned early on in your life? How did others “disabuse” you of them?

Have you, or are you returning to them? Why? How?

In Violation of our True Self

March 9, 2009 in Ministry-Theology, Therapy-Psychology with 5 Comments

identityI have been returning time and time again to one of my favorite books on the topic of identity and vocation, Let Your Life Speak: Listening for the Voice of Vocation by Parker Palmer. I first read the book in 2002 when I was finishing up my M. Div. at Fuller Theological Seminary at it greatly impacted me and some of my friends. I have since read it over a couple of times and I’m about to finish it again. It is very powerful. It is a paradigm shifting book.

Parker Palmer makes the insightful comment that:

“True self (this is what Parker also refers to as the “imago dei” in us), when violated, will always resist us, sometimes at great cost, holding our lives in check until we honor its truth.” (pp. 4)

As we find ourselves in very different places in life (graduating from college, looking for jobs, looking for second careers, stuck in a career, struggling in a marriage, trying to overcome an addiction, trying to raise kids, etc.) we may find that our identity is being violated.

Palmer says:

“The deepest vocational question is not ‘What ought I to do with my life?’ It is the more elemental and demanding ‘Who am I? What is my nature?’”

This is something I have been thinking about, wondering if all of my indecisivness in life, especially around career and passion, is really the ‘imago dei’ God placed within me being violated. Bumping up against it…stumbling, until I finally find my way.

How do we know when we are in the right vocation? When do we know we have found our calling? How have you known when you violated your ‘true self’ or the ‘imago dei’ in you?