Tag Archive - Blogs

Social Media in Haiti: Seeing Beyond the Messengers to the Message

February 24, 2010 in Technology-Social Media with 1 Comment


[image by Adam McLane]

When I was called and asked to be a part of the Adventures in Missions YMATH Team, I was told that one of the reasons I was being asked to go was to communicate through my blog, Twitter and Facebook during my time there. In an earlier post Why Haiti? And What You Can Do I talked more at length of the purposes for us being there.

This topic was something I wrestled with greatly as I was making my decision, and during my whole time in Haiti. And I know our team wrestled with this issue as well. Every place we visited we talked about whether or not to take photos, shoot video, tweet, etc. It filled a lot of our discussion time.

I think if I had gone to Haiti and had blogged, tweeted and Facebooked (is that a word) about the trip…and didn’t see any fruit from the social media push…then I may have come back feeling less sure about that decision.

We didn’t want to exploit anyone.

We didn’t want to stroke our own egos, or pat ourselves on the back.

We wanted to tell the stories of the Haitian people.

We wanted to encourage people back at home through the Haitian stories.

We wanted to encourage others to come to Haiti and serve or give.

We wanted to use social media to help resource the Haitian people and all the future teams.

And whatever the impression was of our team back at home I can say this confidently. The Haitian people were so glad that we had come to listen to their stories. They were thankful that they could look into a camera and share their plight with others around the world.  Aid and relief often can provide for one’s basic needs which are foremost, but it doesn’t often allow you to speak, to share of yourself, your stories and what you have been through.  People were ready to share.

The rest of the team has stories similar to mine, but personally I can say that I have been greatly encouraged by the connections that the use of social media in Haiti has brought forth here at home and around the world. I have had meetings with other pastors who are wanting to take teams to serve in Haiti. I have received messages from individuals who feel God is calling them to quit their jobs so that they can move to Haiti full-time and serve. I have had people donate money to Haiti because of some story I shared. I have had people express that they felt like they were actually there on the trip…that social media helped connect their head to their heart and have compassion in a way that they couldn’t have previously experienced unless they had gone in person. The whole outpouring of others is quite remarkable and beyond anything we could have done on our own.

Using social media helped connect various parts of the body of Christ, and though God was clearly in command, I believed he used technology to bring various organizations, ministries and people together.

One of the really amazing things about using social media in Haiti, is that Jeremy Zach and I were able to shoot a thank you video of all the water that our team was able to buy for one village because of the money given to Jeremy and I from some friends as we headed out to Haiti. They gave us cash. We bought water. And we showed them in real time (sending out tweets and FB messages of the video) how their money was being used. Wow! The people who donated were moved. A connection was made and Haiti was no longer a country on the news that had faced destruction. Instead it was a country, filled with real people, who were now drinking water that our friends had played a part in helping provide. Real flesh and bones.

Thank You from Adventures In Missions on Vimeo.

And maybe one of the best examples of the good social media did was this tweet by Anne Jackson:

RT @flowerdust PLS RT: Pls @andersoncooper Meet us 9a @tentcity http://flic.kr/p/7CYFZe 5k+ ppl w/o food/meds HELP THEM http://bit.ly/clQkFP

You all retweeted that message thousands of times. So maybe Anderson Cooper didn’t show up. But many of you did. Not in person, but through your generous financial contributions. Through your connections. People gave money. People made calls. And because of you…because of a story and a people you connected with through the use of social media…these people dwelling in tents were able to receive food and water. When all the NGO’s were unable to provide for these people because of red tape and politics, you were able to step in and help. And that was only the beginning of the story. People are continuing to give to these people dwelling in tents. People are continuing to advocate for them in Haiti from 1000′s of miles away.

The story continues to be told over and over again through the use of social media.

As messengers we may get in the way of the message. But the beautiful thing about God is that he can take our messages in whatever shape we deliver them…and he can redeem them and bring good out of it.

So is it possible that we as the storytellers can cloud the story?

YES.

Is it possible that our egos and agendas may get in the way?

YES.

I hope that we can tell better stories one day where people can see beyond the messenger or the distorted means by which we deliver them. That as messengers of God we act more in humility than we often do or come across. But until then, continue to tell stories. And use whatever means you have available. And in this process I know that God is continuing to transform our lives and the lives of those we come into contact with. I know that he uses us even though we are broken and cracked vessels.

God does and can use social media for the greater good.

Your Kids Online: What Are You Doing to Them?

November 10, 2009 in Marriage-Family, Therapy-Psychology with 10 Comments

3882948443_dd5cbc510a
[image by Zieak]

Something I have been torn over for a while is the question of “How much of my daughter’s life do I share online?”

With blogs, Facebook, Twitter, Flickr and other services it’s more convenient than ever to post photos, share little blurbs about their day, and our reactions as parents to certain things. And as an excited parent of a 2 year old girl I find lots of stuff I want to share with others. Even though I’ve been hesitant to blog about her, and I rarely do, people could probably find out information about her pretty quickly online. Between my wife, our families and I, there is more than enough out there. Actually, there is more online than I want there to be at this point.

But I think this is a discussion worth having because I think too many people quickly excuse it and say that “it doesn’t matter”, or if “people really want to find them, then they will.” Or some say, well the future is the internet, so we are just helping them jump online early. But maybe that is more about you than your kids.

I have seen some of the discussions going around, but one that caught my eye was Wess Daniels‘ recent post, Limiting Access: Flickr and Archiving Our Children’s Lives. Wess states:

Now, I am no alarmist and I am not about to get all privacy this and that on you, but I appreciated the question my friend Fernando put to me on twitter: “it’s about giving people control over their “digital destiny.” How will the stuff we post hit our kids future relationships?” And this is really it for me. Not only do we not know what it’s like to have our entire lives archived online, we are the ones choosing what to post and what not to post for the public.

Wess concludes with:

I’ll leave the archiving up to my daughters when they’re ready to do it themselves (Lord knows Google’s got a nice archive on me).

One of the articles that seems to have really challenged Wess’ thinking on this topic was the New York Times article Guardians of their Smiles
 from a couple of weeks ago.

This article focuses on the safety of putting so much of our kid’s lives online, but I think Wess hits on something important when he writes, “How will the stuff we post hit our kids future relationships?” As parents we are usually constantly thinking about our kid’s safety, but I do think we fail to realize what affect the online profile we are building them right now could do to them relationally.

I’m currently working with quite a few kids in therapy as well as ministry, and one of the growing conversations that kids are engaging me in is their embarrassment of what their parents are posting about them online, whether it be a picture or some random comment on Twitter. As parents we might think it’s funny to say something like, “my husband just had the birds and the bees talk with our son”, or “sometimes being a parent is exhausting.” As parents we see it as no more than an opportunity to share a piece of our life with others, or to connect with other parents online. But to your kids, it’s more than that. Continue Reading…

Clay Shirky: How cellphones, Twitter, Facebook can make history

June 16, 2009 in Ministry-Theology, Technology-Social Media with 1 Comment

Great TED video interview with Clay Shirky at the TED@State event. Clay has been super influential in my thinking, especially after I read his book Here Comes Everybody last year. I highly, highly recommend this book. It is a must read for anyone in a leadership position. I wish more church leaders would read it. What he says is what is happening in leadership and organizations all over the world.

Check out the video.

I have been reflecting on his writings for a long time, and I have been especially interested in two specific topics he talks about in the book. Architecture of participation and communities of practice. I have more thoughts on a theology of these for the Church (but that’s for another post).

I wrote Clay an email last year to tell him about his influence on my thinking, and he promptly responded with a nice email in return.

When asked about what has had the biggest impact with what is going on right now in Iran–blog, Facebook, Twitter)–this was Clay’s response:

It’s Twitter. One thing that Evan (Williams) and Biz (Stone) did absolutely right is that they made Twitter so simple and so open that it’s easier to integrate and harder to control than any other tool. At the time, I’m sure it wasn’t conceived as anything other than a smart engineering choice. But it’s had global consequences. Twitter is shareable and open and participatory in a way that Facebook’s model prevents. So far, despite a massive effort, the authorities have found no way to shut it down, and now there are literally thousands of people around the world who’ve made it their business to help keep it open.

Two Great Therapy Blogs

May 1, 2009 in Marriage-Family, Technology-Social Media with 5 Comments

There are some great therapists out there who have a blog which I enjoy reading…and which I think you will too. Luckily for me, the two I’m highlighting today are in the Dallas-Ft.Worth Metroplex, which means I have had the opportunity to connect with them and pick their brain about therapy, as well as the topic of blogging and social media.



First Simple Marriage. This is the blog of Corey Allan, whom you can also follow on Twitter @simplemarriage.



Second I Choose Change. This is the blog of Jennifer Ryan, whom you can also follow on Twitter @ichoosechange.



There are some great blogs out there that focus on the topic of relationships (marriage, parenting, dating, etc.), so if there are any that you particular like reading, leave their url in the comments below so I can post on them. And don’t forget to follow me on Twitter @rhetter.

Affirmation: One of Technology’s Negative Effects on Your Marriage and Family

February 10, 2009 in Marriage-Family, Technology-Social Media, Therapy-Psychology with 21 Comments

jleMcLuhan and Twitter via John Dyer
This is a post I have had in the making for a while, but when I read John Dyer’s post Tools for Tech Thinking: McLuhan on Twitter, and well, he unknowingly gave me some inspiration to post some of my thoughts on this issue.

Read John’s post for some context, but essentially Marshall McLuhan in his seminal work The Medium is the Message poses four questions about media/technology:

  1. What does it (the medium or technology extend)?
  2. What does it make obsolete?
  3. What is retrieved?
  4. “What does the technology reverse into if it is over-extended?

John does a great job of summarizing what these four things are, but for this post I’m concerned about question four, “What does the technology reverse into if it is over-extended?” John explicates the question in this way:

What does Twitter reverse into if it is over-extended?

This is McLuhan’s “negative” question where he gives examples like the ability to project one’s voice is lost if the microphone is overused and the ability to walk long distances is lost when one relies on vehicles.

  • Twitter can connect physically distant individuals, but when overused it can also isolate a person from those who are physically near (like spouses) reversing into a state of more disconnectedness.
  • Twitter can also reverse into a level of shallowness, because communication is limited to 140 characters.
  • Twitter can also reverse into a mess of noise and distraction since so many voices are speaking  at the same time.

Technology and Affirmation
Most of us may not realize it, but technology is often a major source of affirmation for us in our lives. John is speaking of Twitter, but Twitter is not the only culprit. Name it: Facebook, blogs, mommy forums, fantasy leagues, chat, MySpace, email, Blackberry’s i-Phones, etc, etc.

We go to these sites and belong to these online communities because in some shape, form or fashion we are affirmed in them. People accept us, care for us, are there for us. It soon becomes an instant source of affirmation.

Continue Reading…

2009 Goal of “Taking Online Community Offline” in Progress…

January 16, 2009 in Marriage-Family, Technology-Social Media with 6 Comments

17264693If you have been reading my blog lately you know that I posted a couple of entries related to this post, “Taking Online Community Offline:” What I’m Doing About It And My 2009 Goal.

What is my 2009 Goal?

“meet & have coffee with every person in the DFW metroplex that I’m connected to on Twitter, Facebook or my blog. Cool?”

It began with a simple Tweet on November 14th and has now become a movement into becoming more and more real everyday.

So I’m going to give you all a weekly update (if some of the goal is met)…but let’s see how it goes.

January 7: Though Greg Atkinson is one of my buddies and we hang out on a pretty regular basis, my lunch conversation with him that day was a really great way to start off the year. We talked about some deep issues and I was able to walk away with some newly needed focus in some areas of my life. Greg is an awesome guy and knows everyone in Dallas and all the best Mexican food restaurants. Follow Greg on Twitter. And follow his work with Church 2.0 on Facebook.

January 8: Now this day was too huge, that I’m not going to even try to mention names. I know I will leave someone out on accident and I don’t want to do that. But it was an epic day at ChurchTechCamp:.Dallas. About 78 guys and 2 girls from all over the DFW Metroplex, Oklahoma, etc. Too many conversations to mention each one, but great things came out of it, and you will be hearing more about some of the individuals as we spend time together over this next year. But I will give a shout out to Tony Steward who is the brainchild behind ChurchTechCamp. I don’t get to hang out with him too often, so it was a privilege to watch him in action.


#ctcdallas from Tony Steward on Vimeo.

Later that evening I went over to John Dyer’s house for dinner. If you don’t know John Dyer, then you need to know him and his blog, Don’t Eat the Fruit. It is one of my favorite blogs on technology and the church. I’m learning tons from him. He and his wife were gracious hosts and I enjoyed getting to have dinner with Greg Atkinson, John Saddington, Ben Dyer, Ben Jordan, Rick Smith, Camron Ware and Paul. It was awesome, and I will be hanging with all of these guys throughout the year.

johndyer_rhettsmith_johnsaddington1January 9: Well, 5 days of hanging out with John Saddington aka ChurchCrunch guy came to an end. I met John on line a couple of months ago and we were able to hang out for about 2 weeks from the December 28–January 9. I really enjoyed spending time with John and not only did we have fun, but I was really challenged in a lot of ways in many areas of my life. Even though he lives in Atlanta we have struck up a great friendship…I will definitely be crashing his couch in the future.

New Blog Look…New Blog Focus…A Work In Progress

January 12, 2009 in Marriage-Family, Ministry-Theology, Technology-Social Media, Therapy-Psychology with 13 Comments

penAs some of you have been reading on Twitter, I have been in the process of creating a new blog look. In reality, I just watched John Saddington help me create a new blog look. John went above and beyond what I expected…I was looking to just change themes, upgrade my WordPress to 2.7, but John was interested in helping me shape a new direction for my blogging as we spent time talking about my interests, passions, gifts, etc.

There are a few things I still need to fix (i.e. About page, add some more page tabs, clean-up some duplicated comments, add images to my 8 categories section at the bottom, clean up some minor bugs, etc, etc.)…so it’s a work in progress, but I might as well not let my moments of perfectionism handicap me. That being said, what you see will be in the process of refining, and I will let you know about some of the cool features as time goes on.

So this blog not only signals a new look for me…it also will signal a change in the direction of my blogging.

As many of you know I’m pretty passionate about 3 things:

  1. Theology: Ministry, Church
  2. Psychology: Therapy, Counseling
  3. Technology: Social Media, Innovation

You will continue to see me blog about many things related to those topics, but I’ve decided to focus more of my writing in the future on issues that stem from my last run at graduate school and what I’m currently engaged in.  What that means is that you will see me address more issues related to the topic of psychology, specifically issues of pastoral counseling, as well as marriage and family (or more broad, relationships).  Not only will I be looking at these issues from a counseling perspective, but I will be looking at how they intersect with our lives in the church, ministry, pastoring, etc.

That’s one change…

Another change is that though I love blogging about ministry and the Church (and will continue to do so), I will be sticking (focusing) on areas that I have more training and expertise in (pastoral care, college ministry, leadership), and will bring more attention to those who are writing great things in the area of ministry and Church that I’m not as gifted in.

That’s another change…

Last, I love technology.  But technology expert I am not.  So I will continue to be a “technoevangelist” (see John Saddington) and write about those tools that I’m passionate about, and the ones that especially connect with those that I’m using in ministry and therapy.  But I desire to bring more attention to those who are much more knowledgeable in this area.

So you will continue to see my write about ministry, counseling and social media, but I hope by the end of the year you notice a much more focused approach to my writing that allows for a much more distinctive voice in areas that best fit my giftings.

And I hope that you learn a lot from what I’m learning and writing, that we can enage one another, and become partners along the journey.

But in the meantime, please be patient as I continue to transfer information over, change/update/create new pages, and fix some little bugs.  Thanks.

Online Community…Does it exist? YES! But I Think You Are Asking the Wrong Question

December 17, 2008 in Ministry-Theology with 14 Comments

The Question?
It seems like people have been asking the question:

Can you have community online?

Or at least some form of this question is asked. Usually adjectives are thrown in front of the word community such as “true” or “real” or “authentic” or “quality”….and so you get the point.

I think what people are wondering is whether or not community can exist outside of a person to person, flesh to flesh encounter?

I have asked this question a lot before. But I’m not asking it anymore. I think community does exist online. And that it can exist just as fruitfully and vibrantly as it does in person.

Couple of thoughts:

  1. Just the fact that someone online is asking that question proves to me the fact that there is online community.  Otherwise, why ask?  And who are they asking that question to online?  Some community somewhere, because they are obviously expecting some response…from someone.

    2.  

  2. Just because someone doesn’t have, or hasn’t experienced community online, doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist and isn’t thriving.

    3.  

  3. We have to be careful of what our expectations of community are.  Community is different things to different people.

    4.  

  4. Also, how long does it take community to build?  A long time.  We can’t just log onto Facebook and comment on blogs and expect instant community.

What is Community?
Depends who you ask…but one place I like to gain wisdom from on this issue is Life Together by Dietrich Bonhoeffer. I think he really wrestled with the topic of community. And I think we can expand his ideas online.

Here are a few of my favorite excerpts:

Christian community is like the Christian’s sanctification. It is a gift of God which we cannot claim. Only God knows the real state of our fellowship, of our sanctification. What may appear weak and trifling to us may be great and glorious to God. Just as the Christian should not be constantly feeling his spiritual pulse, so, too, the Christian community has not been given to us by God for us to be constantly taking its temperature. The more thankfully we daily receive what is given to us, the more surely and steadily will fellowship increase and grow from day to day as God pleases.

On innumerable occasions a whole Christian community has been shattered because it has lived on the basis of a wishful image. Certainly serious Christians who are put in a community for the first time will often bring with them a very definite image of what Christian communal life [Zusammenleben] should be, and they will be anxious to realize it. But God’s grace quickly frustrates all such dreams. A great disillusionment with others, with Christians in general, and, if we are fortunate, with ourselves, is bond to overwhelm us as surely as God desires to lead us to an understanding of genuine Christian community. By sheer grace God will not permit us to live in a dream world even for a few weeks and to abandon ourselves to those blissful experiences and exalted moods that sweep over us like a wave of rapture. For God is not a God of emotionalism, but the God of truth. Only that community which enters into the experience of this great disillusionment with all its unpleasant and evil appearances begins to be in God’s sight, begins to grasp in faith the promise that is given to it. The sooner this moment of disillusionment comes over the individual and the community, the better for both. However, a community that cannot bear and cannot survive such disillusionment, clinging instead to its idealized image, when that should be done away with, loses at the same time the promise of a durable Christian community. Sooner or later it is bound to collapse.

Every human idealized image that is brought into the Christian community is a hindrance to genuine community and must be broken up so that genuine community can survive. Those who love their dream of a Christian community more than the Christian community itself become destroyers of that Christian community even though their personal intentions may be ever so honest, earnest, and sacrificial.

I’m about to tackle Bonhoeffer’s doctoral dissertation (which he wrote at age 21…geesh), Sanctorum Communio: A Theological Study of the Sociology of the Church….I think that there are some gems to be mined in the area of church and community, and practical, theological, ministerial implications for community online.

And What Are You Doing to Foster Community?
I think we are all quick to criticize community–The lack thereof…The clicks…The difficulty to connect. Judgmental…Non-existant. Etc.

But what are we doing about it.

The right question I think: Is what are you doing about the community you are a part of, and to participate and give to a community…not just take?

I love community, but sometimes I’m not very good at it. I love person to person, in the flesh encounters. I also love online community and think it’s a huge blessing and gift that previous generations did not have.

If I have my choice, most often I would rather meet in person, talking over a cup of coffee…sharing life. I love that. But sometimes that’s just not possible. I may, and most likely will never have the chance to meet everyone I’m friends with on Facebook, or who I follow on Twitter, or who I read their blogs. But that doesn’t mean community doesn’t exist, or that our online friendships can’t thrive into an amazing community.

But here’s what I’m going to do about it.

  1. I’m going to continue to connect with people online, communicate, collaborate when possible.


  2. I’m going to make attempts to also call, video chat, FB chat, email, etc. with those online…take it another level.  I talk with several Tweets on the phone that I’ve never meant in person.


  3. I mentioned this on Nov. 17 in the post, Taking Community Offline: What I’m Doing About It And My 2009 Goal. That goal is to “meet & have coffee with every person in the DFW metroplex that I’m connected to on Twitter, Facebook or my blog.  Cool?”  In fact, I’ve already got a head start and met with several others (about 10) and will meet more at churchtechcamp:.Dallas, and many other places. Sometimes in large groups, sometimes in small, sometimes one on one.
What are you doing to create, improve, strengthen, connect, community online and in person?  Please share. We can learn from each other.

Leveraging Technology in Your Community

November 10, 2008 in Ministry-Theology with 3 Comments

Two of my passions are technology and community–especially, how technology can be used to create and sustain community, and how it can be used to open up communication.

So I’m real excited that Cynthia Ware has a great, great post/presentation on Leveraging Technology to Support Community
.

Please check it out–it is well worth your time–whether this new or old to you, you will learn a lot.

Leveraging Technology to Support Community
View SlideShare presentation or Upload your own. (tags: homefellowships onlinecommunication)




Below is my 9 Post Series on how you can leverage technology in college ministry.

Formulating an Online Strategy for College Ministry

Searching for Intimacy Online and with Social Media Tools

November 3, 2008 in Ministry-Theology with 9 Comments

Looking to Connect
It is no surprise to any of us that people are looking online to connect with others, and that in the process a certain level of intimate needs are met. Whether it’s a chat group, dating service, blog or class reunion site, people are finding connection.

The questions for you…the question for me…the question for us is: Are we getting our needs for intimacy online, rather than in the relationships that we are a part of (i.e. family, spouse, friends, etc.)? Do we spend more time feeding the relationships we are a part of in person, or the ones online?

I have the tendency to ramble (can be a gift, but often a curse), so let me break it down very simply.

When our need for intimacy and connection are not being met in our relationships, we often turn towards the place (most often another person; addiction; work, etc.) where we can connect, find intimacy. Ultimately, we not only want intimacy (and when I talk about intimacy, I am not speaking just sexually, but in general), but we want to feel valued for who we are, what we have to say, and what we have to offer. If then, the relationships we are in do not provide a place where we feel safe, valued, affirmed, loved….where we don’t connect and have a level of intimacy….WELL, then we often turn to other things.

Instant Affirmation
That’s what makes the internet, online communities and social media tools so powerful and addicting. Unlike the reality of a face to face relationship, online communities can often provide instant affirmation, and access to connection, and a certain level of intimacy that sometimes is harder to achieve when you are dealing with another person, in the flesh. Online we can be anyone we want to be…we can present ourselves in any shape, size or manner. It is easy to be liked, and if someone doesn’t like us, or affirm us, well then we can just remove them from our community or shut down communication. That is much more difficult to do in person.

What I’m trying to communicate is much more complex than what I can, or am wanting to achieve in this post. But I do want you…I do want me…I do want us to be more AWARE of this issue.

Let me give you a prime example. Let’s say you are a blogger (and most of us are) and you have developed an online following that is pretty affirming. They like what you write, they leave comments, your traffic is a boost to your ego. Well, because of that affirmation you turn to that channel to find that connection. And if you aren’t careful, you stop paying as much attention to your relationships (family, spouse, children, friends, etc.). You have this online community that is affirming and an instant connection…so when family life isn’t as quick to affirm or provide connection, it becomes an easy shift to start paying more attention to the online world.

The danger in all this is that it’s really a bind. People often seek affirmation from the online world life when their home/work life isn’t so great. And other times, just spending so much time online without any boundaries can lead to neglect of our in person relationships. And when they get difficult, it’s just easier to stay online.

Be Aware
As someone who is engaged in the world of social media, therapy and ministry I would just say for you to be aware…to take stock, assess a few things.  Ask some questions.

  • How much time am I spending online a day?  What does my time online take away from?
  • What kind of social activities or relationships am I getting involved in?  Something as innocent as searching for, befriending and communicating with old friends online may be an attempt to fill some need for connection you aren’t getting at home.
  • Are your in person relationships being neglected in favor of your online ones?
  • Are you getting your needs met for connection, affirmation, love, acceptance, intimacy, etc. online?
  • If you and your spouse/significant other aren’t connecting, are you taking the time to talk to each other about it, or do you withdraw and seek it somewhere else..in this case online?
  • At the end of the week (outside of your required online time needed for your job), when you tally up your time online in your freetime vs. the time you spend with your family, spouse, children, etc….which ends up being more?  Why do you think that is?
  • Does your online life affirming you in ways that you aren’t getting from your in person relationships?  Or has your time online taken you away from developing and working on those relationships in person, therefore they aren’t as fulfilling as the ones online?
  • Do you belong to an accountability group that not only keeps you accountable for other parts of your life, but your online life as well.


Resources
I want to just suggest and point out a couple of resources.  Some of these are more aimed towards the sexual intimacy that many seek for online, but I suggest them to you to just point out the larger issue…and that is this:  That our online behavior affects our relationships, and sometimes online community is easier than our in person relationships, just reinforcing our desire for quick affirmation that we seek online.  And now, many professional and lay communities are really starting to acknowledge how our technological lives impact not only us, but those we are in relationship with.

Just check out the current issue of the AAMFT Journal of Marital and Family Therapy. By browsing a list of some of the articles you can see the growing concern of how our online worlds, technological lives are impacting our relationships.

Cybersex and the E-teen: What Marriage and Family Therapists Should Know

Technology, Relationships, and Problems: A Research Synthesis

Emotional and Sexual Infidelity Offline and in Cyberspace
Cybersex: The Impact of a Contemporary Problem on the Practices of Marriage and Family Therapists

Therapists’ Assessment and Treatment of Internet Infidelity Cases
Assisting A Concerned Person to Motivate Someone Experiencing Cybersex Into Treatment : Application of Invitational Intervention: The ARISE Model to Cybersex

Also, check out the book, In the Shadows of the Net: Breaking Free from Complusive Online Sexual Behavior.

Plug….United Nerd LifeGroup
This is just one place where I’m learning a lot about the balance between living online, yet setting healthy boundaries in my online space, especially in regards to my family, relationships, work, etc. Join us tomorrow night for a great conversation at Tony Steward leads us in the below discussion.

When: 9:00–10:00PM Central Time

Where: http://www.ustream.tv/channel/tonystewards-show

Topic: We are heading into week 4 of our 6 week study on getting UnPlugged as we are all online and into technology. This week we are going to be talking about having healthy intimacy in our lives and relationships. There is nothing like the distraction of technology and information overload to kill our opportunities for intimacy.

Join the Facebook Group, United Nerd LifeGroup
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