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My Blog Confession: How An Unfortunate Post I Wrote on John Piper 3 Years Ago Has Changed the Way I Blog

December 4, 2008 in Ministry-Theology with 26 Comments

Apologies
John Saddington over at Church Crunch had a great post, Digital Apologies and Blog Confessionals. John’s post was in reference to Digg co-founder Kevin Rose’s apology about comments on his uber-popular video podcast Diggnation. John says:

Blogging, for most part and for many is a one-way street. It’s a digital megaphone to the public. It’s a personal soapbox and a electronic pulpit. It’s a place where apologies aren’t required.

But that’s if you hold the aforementioned definition of “blogging” to be true.

And for some, it is. For others, like myself, blogging is about relationships. You see, I’m more interested in using my blogs to build relationships with other people instead of making sure that my own voice can be heard in the blogospheric galaxy.

And just like in real relationships, things get tough: Feelings get hurt, things get twisted and go all Robbie Williams on you (read: “Misunderstood“). People get passionate and emotional, people get upset and say things they don’t really mean, people sin.

All this means is that people have to learn to apologize, and do it on their blog.

Passion & Blogging, Like Oil & Water…Often Don’t Mix Well
People are passionate and blogging is instantaneous. Mix the two together and you sometimes wish you could take back what you write. I have been blogging for over 4 years and it has taken me as long to be more cautious, careful and gracious when I post something, then say it did in the earlier years.

Blogging is often reactionary, and the quickest way to drive traffic to your site is to say something that can cause a reaction in others. Usually that is done by handling controversial issues, attacking popular figures in an industry/ministry, or by just plain and simple rabble rousing.

In the beginning that might seem fun as you engage a very passionate and rabble rousing crowd on your blog, but in the end, I don’t think that’s enough to sustain a life of blogging. Nor is it sufficient to bring joy into your blogging life. Nor does it often lead to positive change or transformation in the lives of those who read your blog, as well as yourself. It’s difficult to build relationships with those who you are constantly engaged in criticism, contempt and combative behavior with…assuming you want any type of relationship at all. But I think it’s the relationships that are formed, and when they are formed, it’s the synergy that is created online that can lead to long term positive change, not only for the web, but the worlds we inhabit and ultimately the Kingdom of God.

This Is My Confession
Almost 3 years ago I wrote one of those posts I wish I could take back. It wasn’t a post I wanted to take back because I didn’t believe in what I was saying (theologically), but rather it was more vitriolic than I would have liked coming from myself. And it was attackful on the person and character of John Piper, rather than just being in disagreement over views. I wrote it in a fit of passion (aka anger, hurt, sadness, grief, etc.) and published it instantly (Background: my mom, grandmother, aunt and some other loved ones of mine died of breast cancer–so a warning to us all to step back when topics become too emotionally engaging for us–that is not a good time to blog and publish instantly). I hesitate to even bring it up since it has been laid to rest, but John Saddington’s post is a good reminder of our continual need to not only make apologies and seek forgiveness with those in our personal lives, but with those lives we are in contact with online.

My original post was fueled by John Piper’s comments on his battle with cancer.

Whether you read my posts or not (and I sort of hope you don’t), you can see that an initial post written in a moment of passion and instant publishing turned into a total of four posts as things spiraled out of control, misunderstandings occurred, feelings were hurt, theologies attacked, and good people without the context of a relationship…misunderstood. In hindsight, I pretty much still hold to those same theological positions that I held then…but I wish I never would have posted that blog…or at least I wish I never would have posted it without being more gracious, or without first seeking to contact John Piper and have a conversation to gain more understanding. But I did post, and I didn’t do the latter. But hopefully 3 years later I am more mature and living and learning as I blog and as I forgive and am forgiven in the process.

Meeting Abraham Piper Made Things Real
A year and a half after that blog post I was contacted by a guy named Abraham Piper on Facebook. He was wanting to connect at GodblogCon ’07 in Las Vegas. When I saw that last name I was like, “Doh, can that possibly be…John Piper’s son?” And it was. I was nervous to meet him, knowing what I had said about his father. When we met, I nervously offered up my apology for speaking about his father in that way. He immediately said not to worry about it, and that it’s pretty much a waste of energy to hold a grudge or not be forgiving of those who have criticisms of you (those are my words, not his). And I got the impression that as John Piper’s son, he was probably used to his father receiving both praise and criticism.

We continued to hang out the next few days and have a really good time of engaging conversation with one another and those at the conference. What that encounter did was put a real context, real relationship, real human face on the person of John Piper…all through my encounter with his son. From that moment I vowed to do my best to think with more clarity and wisdom and grace before I posted negative stuff (criticisms, etc.) about another person, group of people, etc. I’ve tried and somedays I succeed and other days I fail. Hopefully I succeed on more of them.

But because of my relationship (albeit through his son Abraham) with John Piper, I am more understanding of what kind of quality man, and passionate Christian he is. Therefore, with the context of the relationship it’s much easier to be gracious in our disagreements, knowing that as followers of Christ we can be united in so much more than our theological differences. And with the context of a relationship, it’s much easier for us to humble ourselves and ask for and seek forgiveness.

So Let’s Be Congruent
This is where online meets real life…they go hand in hand, and they will continue to go more hand in hand as the web becomes a much larger part of our lives than it already is. This is where our online and offline worlds must become more congruent, and we must become more consistent as people in relationships with one another, and as followers in Christ.

So Abraham. I appreciate your kindness, graciousness and forgiveness. I don’t know if you ever read the posts (and I hope you didn’t, and still don’t–because I’m a different blogger now). And John, if you ever did read them, I apologize for the personal attacks…and though we land in different theological camps I appreciate your ministry, and the lives of the people that you impacted whom I’m in direct relationships with.

So What About You
Have you ever put your foot in your mouth, were less than kind, or wish you could take something back you wrote on your blog?

Please share what it was (if you want to), and how you handled it? Did you apologize? Confess? Seek the person out?

Blog on friends….

An Interview with Church Crunch

November 20, 2008 in Ministry-Theology with 2 Comments

Church Crunch has definitely become one of my favorite sites. I check it out several times a day and am always learning, being challenged and growing in many areas, but especially their thoughts on technology and the Church.

John Saddington (you must start reading his blog–a must) did an interview with me this last week. It was a cool experience to be asked some questions that I have been thinking about and wrestling with for a while.

I love how he began the interview…made me laugh.

Rhett Smith is one of those guys that after you visit his blog your brain starts asking funky questions like “What’s up with this guy who enjoys psychology, theology, counseling, and social media… at the same time?”

Check out our interview, A Chat with Rhett Smith.

Despite Rumors of It’s Early Demise, Blogging Is Not Dead…It Is Evolving

October 22, 2008 in Ministry-Theology with 7 Comments

Is Blogging Dead
Yesterday afternoon I read two Tweets from Jeremiah Owyang, Senior Analyst at Forrester.

They were as follows:

Wired suggests blogs are old hat –call me old fashioned!

followed by,

What’s interesting is that the Wired opinion doesn’t have a single piece of data in it’s article –go read Sifry’s state of blogosphere.

Apparently this article from Paul Boutin in Wired Magazine has been getting a lot of attention this week, especially from those of us who blog. In the article Twitter, Flickr, Facebook Make Blogs Look So 2004, Boutin states:

Thinking about launching your own blog? Here’s some friendly advice: Don’t. And if you’ve already got one, pull the plug.

Writing a weblog today isn’t the bright idea it was four years ago. The blogosphere, once a freshwater oasis of folksy self-expression and clever thought, has been flooded by a tsunami of paid bilge. Cut-rate journalists and underground marketing campaigns now drown out the authentic voices of amateur wordsmiths. It’s almost impossible to get noticed, except by hecklers. And why bother? The time it takes to craft sharp, witty blog prose is better spent expressing yourself on Flickr, Facebook, or Twitter.

No, But Blogging Is Evolving
Flickr, Facebook and Twitter are amazing tools that I love and use everyday, but they are just but pieces of the package, as is a blog. To use another metaphor, they are just individual members of the body. But so is blogging.

Blogging is not dead, nor does your blog need to be pulled, rather it is an evolving art form in my opinion.

None of the social media tools that seem to arrive on the scene everyday are the complete and perfect individual tools that one needs, rather they are just pieces of the puzzle, but when brought into harmony together, have a powerful effect on one’s social media experience and their contribution to the world.

In fact, Andrew Sullivan wrote an exceptional piece, Why I Blog. He begins:

For centuries, writers have experimented with forms that evoke the imperfection of thought, the inconstancy of human affairs, and the chastening passage of time. But as blogging evolves as a literary form, it is generating a new and quintessentially postmodern idiom that’s enabling writers to express themselves in ways that have never been seen or understood before. Its truths are provisional, and its ethos collective and messy. Yet the interaction it enables between writer and reader is unprecedented, visceral, and sometimes brutal. And make no mistake: it heralds a golden era for journalism.

The Blogging Journey
In the Spring of 2004 I had been pondering the idea of blogging because I loved to write and I thought it was the wave of the future. It was through the encouragement of one of my college student’s and good friends Jared Kleier that I made my entry into blogging. I think my first post was in the Summer of 2003 on the Blogger platform. It was a reflection on John 21, of which I erased shortly after because I didn’t quite have the courage to make myself so vulnerable, and my thoughts available for critique.

I eventually worked up the courage to post regularly and after 4 years of blogging I am approaching my 1,000 post (this is post 992). There have been many ups (getting linked by Hugh Hewitt which drove my traffic through the roof), as well as some downpoints (critizing John Piper and receiving a frenzy of comments for it). There have also been many new speaking and job opportunities from those who were exposed to my blog, as well as allowing me to have my first foray into the publishing world with a chapter in The New Media Frontier.

But those things are just icing on the cake. Blogging for me is really about a labor of love, taking risks with exposing and sharing my ideas, and connecting with others that I agree and disagree with through the medium of the internet. Most of all, blogging is about commitment, devotion, and consistency over a period of time. You don’t have to drive thousands of readers a day to your blog to be a successful blogger. Some of the best bloggers are those who share their life with their families and close friends through their writing. And most of all, it’s a record of how you have changed and grown as a person, thinker, etc. I have watched my blogging evolve over time (topics, length, commenters, blogroll, etc.), and it has been an illuminating reflection on my own evolution as a person.

Blogging has changed. In the early days I could break into the top 10,000 on Technorati, but now, I’m lucky if I can crack 70,000. Those were the early days of obsessing over numbers, traffic and ranking. And even though I still hope that people read my blog, I’m more driven by the idea of sharing my thoughts, passions and life with others…and that hopefully in the process we (the blogging community, commenters, etc.) can connect with one another and help change the world. Not as individuals, but as a community who is passionate about the ideas that we share and the convictions we have….all made possible through the medium of blogging.

Twitter is but 140 characters. Flickr is photos, perhaps with comments. And Facebook is hundreds of friends sharing life online together. But there is something powerful about putting words down and publishing them on a blog.

I will end this post with a quote from Andrew Sullivan’s article that I love:

Alone in front of a computer, at any moment, are two people: a blogger and a reader. The proximity is palpable, the moment human—whatever authority a blogger has is derived not from the institution he works for but from the humanness he conveys. This is writing with emotion not just under but always breaking through the surface. It renders a writer and a reader not just connected but linked in a visceral, personal way. The only term that really describes this is friendship. And it is a relatively new thing to write for thousands and thousands of friends.

Resources
Check out Technorati’s State of the Blogosphere 2008. Here is one telling quote, “The numbers vary but agree that blogs are here to stay.”

And check out Kirk Sexton’s new blog. Now that he just started it, he is wondering if he has to kill it already. I say no. Blog on Kirk.

You Might Be A Social Media Addict If……Setting Boundaries On Social Media

October 13, 2008 in Ministry-Theology with 23 Comments

Social Media Boundaries
A few weeks ago I started talking about boundaries, but as if you haven’t noticed already, I sometimes have a hard time staying on one topic too long.

So let me circle back to the idea of boundaries around our social media. Otherwise, what parameters do you put around your social media use that will help prevent you from getting swallowed up by it, going insane or letting it completely dominating your life?

What Is A Boundary?
Most simply defined, a boundary is, the line or plane indicating the limit or extent of something.

So is there a line or plane that indicates the limit or extent to which you will engage, or allow social media to take over your life? What is it? How do you even know if social media is taking over your life?

Do You Have Social Media Boundaries In Your Life? Quiz Time
Here is my little quiz. Answering yes to any or all of these tells me it has taken over. Keep in mind that to come up with questions means that I have probably violated some or all of them. So know you are in good company. And I know there are more, so feel free to contribute in the comment section. Also, remember, social media and using it is not bad in and of itself, it’s when it takes over facets of our lives.

You hop on the web to do a simple task, but you still find yourself online hours later, addicted, doing something completely different than your initial task?
When you are with your family you have thoughts of, “I can’t wait until they all get in bed, then finally I can post my blog?”
If you don’t blog, Twitter or message on Facebook you feel as if you are letting others down, or you feel left out? You feel less relevant?
When you are with your wife at dinner you check incoming messages or play with your phone, even if it seems like an appropriate time to do so (like when she’s at the restroom).
On your day off you can’t walk into the next room or leave the house without your cell phone?
You find yourself Twittering about experiences as they are happening, rather than just living the experience (i.e. athletic events, concerts, your children’s events, baby delivery, etc, etc.)
When you go to dinner with your friends you look around and all of you are on your phones texting, Twittering, etc….even if that’s now expected and accepted, it is what you are all doing? Continue Reading…

Framework for Chapter in Book: 5 Movements for Online Social Networking

August 21, 2008 in Technology-Social Media with 0 Comments

Just wrote my first blog post over at our book blog for The New Media Frontier.

My chapter is New Media Ministry to the Myspace-Facebook Generation:
Employing New Media Technologies Effectively In Youth Ministries. And the following is some of the framework I laid out in the chapter.

It’s hard to keep up on the social media scene as so many things have changed in the last year since I wrote the chapter, but I have learned so much and will continue to do so. Though I might think through some things differently I still like the general framework laid out in the chapter.

I tried to approach the chapter more from a spiritual/psychological/philosophical framework, then a how to tech manual. The technology is the tool, but how we approach and apply the technology and how it shapes us in the process is very important for us to think about.

Check it out.

5 Movement Towards Online Social Networking

Andrew Jones (aka Tall Skinny Kiwi) interview

August 13, 2008 in Technology-Social Media with 2 Comments

I had the privilege yesterday of interviewing Andrew Jones along with Andrew Jackson, Cynthia Ware, Matthew Anderson and Marcus Goodyear.

Jones has some great insight into the history of blogging (he’s been blogging since 1997/1998) and ministry. Some really good thoughts on setting boundaries online, as well as a church’s need to have a sense of integrity of what they display online and what it’s like in real life.

Check out the interview here.

Changing & Developing Our Thinking in an Online Community

July 9, 2008 in Ministry-Theology with 2 Comments

Scot McKnight has a great post, A Little Exercise for Young Theologians, which is a take on the classic book of the same name by Helmut Thielicke.

The premise of the post:

Bloggers pastors or students or theologians, especially young ones, need to listen to the wisdom of this little word by Thielicke. Why? Let me begin with this: what you say on your blog is international, permanent, and universally accessible. It’s not that I think you need to hide your ideas; it is that some of your ideas are not wise to be aired in public. Keep them to your closer friends and give them time to dig roots. Some of them you may toss into the bucket before too long.

Recognize that you will change: I’m asking our pastor readers today to weigh in on this one. Here it is: Did you change your mind on something that, when you were a young pastor, you thought was absolutely important? What was that? Had I been blogging 25 years ago, I would have been harsh on the grace emphasis of a writer like Yancey.

Have you changed your mind on anything absolutely important? What was it?

For me personally, there is not one specific thing, but my theology has constantly been in a state of development over time. Some believe that we should have it at a fixed place, but I think as we grow, mature, gain wisdom our theology changes as we come to understand and know God in new ways.

When it comes to blogging, where have you made mistakes? What would you do differently?

I think I would be less critical. I have too often written posts critically about thinkers, pastors, I don’t know. And though there is a place for criticism, I really try hard to be more constructive than critical, but often fail at that. Even this last week I wrote a post about another pastor (Driscoll) that really didn’t need to be posted.

So I’m working on being more constructive.

What thoughts do you have on thinking differently, or blogging differently?

I’m convinced, that just like working out our theologies, mistakes and differences has taken place in communities and groups for thousands of years, we will see this same process happen online as well. More people will be privy to it, but it’s part of the “publish, then filter” that Clay Shirky talks about in Here Comes Everybody: The Power of Organizing Without Organizations.

Please share with us some of your thoughts.

Formulating an Online Strategy for College Ministry: Part 3-Why You Should Be Blogging

May 31, 2008 in Ministry-Theology with 12 Comments

Of all the topics I’m going to address in this series, this seems to be the no-brainer to me. I started blogging about 4 years ago at the encouragement of one of my students at the time, Jared Kleier. He set up a blog for me on our college website and away we went, though it wasn’t quite that easy. I remember writing and deleting one post after another because I had never experienced writing something for immediate consumption by the public.

All it took was some encouragement from others, and a few links from other bloggers, and then the blogging bug just seemed to take over.

Lots of people have various reasons for why those in ministry should blog. Mark Roberts has 18 Thesis’ for why pastors should blog. You can view his Powerpoint Presentation, Pastors as Blogger, at GodblogCon 2007.

Mark is just one good resource.

There are a lot of reasons why I think those involved in college ministry should blog, so let me give you just 11 (yeah 11) that come to mind and that I have found helpful reasons for blogging:

Communicate, Communicate, Communicate: A blog is simply in many ways about communication. When you blog, you communicate to others on a variety of topics.
Reiterate the Mission: When you blog, you can continually communicate, and therefore, one of the important pieces of communication is to continually reiterate and blog about the mission of the ministry. It’s a good way to remind students and keep everyone accountable, focused, and on task.
Encouragement: A blog is a great way to encourage those in your ministry, whether it be other staff, leaders or the congregants. Devotionals, posts of encouragement, thank yous, and recognizing others are just some forms. Continue Reading…

Two Conferences to Put On Your Calendar

May 20, 2008 in Ministry-Theology with 0 Comments

There are a lot of conferences out there, but here are two that I will be talking about more, especially as time draws closer.

DRINK–CollegeLeader Conference

September 4-7, 2008 in Southern California!

DRINK: The reservoir of college-age ministry resources is no longer dry. It’s no secret that it’s been bone dry for years, but we thought we would provide a little refreshment! Come and join us for a time of learning, brainstorming, discussion, networking, and talking about church-based college-age ministry over cups of coffee.

The conference doesn’t stop with leaders though! This weekend will also be for students. We can all drink from the fountain!

Speakers include Chuck Bomar, David Kinnaman and others.

GodblogCon: A Gathering of Christians to Advance the Kingdom Through Blogging + Internet Technologies

September 20-21 in Las Vegas at Blog World & New Media Expo

I will definitely be at GodblogCon again. I look forward to seeing old friends and meeting new ones…looking forward to meeting Andrew Jones. That’s worth the cost of travel, hotel, food and conference.