Our Identity in Social Media/Technology Engagement

July 6, 2009 in Ministry-Theology, Therapy-Psychology with 1 Comment

417661856_d978c2089e
[image by LollyKnit]

Identity in Christ
One of the most crucial passages of scripture in the Bible in regards to our identity is Mark 1:9-14:

“9, And it came to pass in those days, that Jesus came from Nazareth of Galilee, and was baptized of John in Jordan. 10, And straightway coming up out of the water, he saw the heavens opened, and the Spirit like a dove descending upon him: 11, And there came a voice from heaven, saying, Thou art my beloved Son, in whom I am well pleased. 12, And immediately the spirit driveth him into the wilderness. 13, And he was there in the wilderness forty days, tempted of Satan; and was with the wild beasts; and the angels ministered unto him. 14, Now after that John was put in prison, Jesus came into Galilee, preaching the gospel of the kingdom of God.”

Several things stick out in this passage, and Henri Nouwen writes about this topic quite frequently in many of his writings. But most crucial for us is that we see Jesus’ identity being affirmed for who he is, and not because of what he does. Before we know much of anything of Jesus’ early life, and before he goes on to do his ministry, we see that his Father loves him and is well pleased with him. It’s because Jesus’ identity is rooted in his relationship with his Father, he is then able to be in the wilderness and then go out and preach the gospel.

It is only when our relationship is rooted in our relationship in Jesus Christ, then can we go out into the world and do what God has called us to do. The problem is that for most of us, our identity is rooted in what we do, not in who we are. So it shouldn’t be a surprise then when we go out into the world and feel lost if we continually have our identity in other things.

I have been thinking about this topic quite a bit, because what I have come to realize is that a lot of what I do is based on what I do, not on who I am. I start to wonder about why I blog, Twitter, write, etc. Where is my identity truly located? Is it in Jesus Christ, or in the identities that I have developed, and that are affirmed by others based on the things I do? And I’m certainly not the first to be asking questions about our use of social media, identity, etc. (here and here to start).

Continue Reading…

Two Blogging Resources

July 6, 2009 in Marriage-Family, Technology-Social Media with 1 Comment

One of the things that I want to do during these 100 posts in 100 days series is to point you to some resources (books, articles, therapists, conferences, blogs, etc.)

There are some great blogs written by some great therapists out there. Two local therapists that I have had the privilege of hanging out with is Jennifer Ryan and Corey Allan. They have some great blogs.

Jennifer Ryan has the blog I Choose Change
–You can also follow on Twitter at @ichoosechange

Corey Allan has the blog Simple Marriage
–You can also follow on Twitter at @simplemarriage

Check out their material.

The Importance of Rapport in Therapy

July 5, 2009 in Marriage-Family with 1 Comment

2091503475_71ae83cdc9
[image by Wrote]

Rapport…

“Relationship, especially one of mutual trust or emotional affinity.”



How important is rapport to the therapy process?  Whether it’s a topic discussed in research literature, read in textbooks, or is simply anecdotal…one finds that it’s pretty important.  Many will say that it can be the key to successful therapy outcomes, because if a person does not connect with their therapist, then sometimes the work that needs to get done…doesn’t get done.

Rapport is one of the first things that tends to be established in the therapeutic process…also known as establishing a therapeutic alliance.  I think it’s no surprise then that many people determine in the 1st couple of sessions whether or not they are going to continue seeing the therapist based on the the amount of rapport they feel has been established in the therapy relationship.

How important to you is rapport with your therapist?

Do you think that a lack of rapport hinders the work that needs to be done?  Or do you think it doesn’t matter?

What things can a therapist do to help establish rapport with a client?

Family Holiday Traditions

July 4, 2009 in Marriage-Family with 0 Comments

2635663343_617dae789c
[image by iChaz]


We all know that holiday traditions are important to the life of a family. So as we approach the 4th of July tomorrow I have a few questions for you.

  1. What is your favorite 4th of July family tradition growing up?


  2. What’s your favorite 4th of July memory?


  3. If you are married, have kids, etc., what new traditions have you started for your family around the 4th of July holiday?

Book Recommendation: Therapy Demystified

July 3, 2009 in Marriage-Family with 0 Comments

51ZP6VRDVJL._BO2,204,203,200_PIsitb-sticker-arrow-click,TopRight,35,-76_AA240_SH20_OU01_ Considering the posts I’ve written over the last week, I thought the following book would be a helpful recommendation. Therapy Demystified: An Insider’s Guide to Getting the Right Help, Without Going Broke by Kate Scharff. Scharff does a good job of covering important topics like various theories, different types of therapists, “misguided reasons” for avoiding therapy, when to get help, etc.

Some of the questions she talks about are:

  • How do I know if I should see a therapist?
  • What are the different kinds of therapy, and why should I care?
  • Where can I find a therapist that I can afford?
  • What should I expect (and ask) within the first few sessions?
  • How can I tell if a therapist is right for me?
  • How can I tell if therapy is working?
  • Is there any truth to the bad things I’ve heard about therapy and therapists?

I hope the posts this week have been helpful, and if you have any questions, please feel free to contact me.

If You Use Social Media, Then You Have to Be Willing to Give Up Some Control

July 3, 2009 in Technology-Social Media with 8 Comments

So I wrote this post back in November of 2008, Community Organizer+Grasp of Web 2.0/Social Media=President Elect Obama.

And then I saw this on July 1, 2009.

And then this tweet by Tony Steward on July 2, 2009.

#churchonline political campaigns found leveraging online community wildly effective in finding and making “disciples” = Obama is president.

President Obama and his campaign did leverage social media technology like no other politician ever has…and I think that’s a huge part of their success, and eventual winning of the White House.

But I’m wondering if it will turn on him. And I don’t mean social media itself, but the people wielding it. People tend to come to social media loving the freedom and openness that it provides, along with the ability to empower everyone and to feel like you are giving them a voice. But sometimes eventually that freedom and openness is seen as a liability and threat, and eventually turns to control. I don’t know if this is happening in the Obama administration or not.

But I think it’s a lesson for all of us. When you invite social media to play a large role in your organization, you have to be willing to let go of some of the control as well. This is why I think many churches and leaders are skeptical…because they don’t want to give over control.

What do you think?

Feeling the Freedom to "Shop" for a Therapist

July 2, 2009 in Marriage-Family with 1 Comment

There are lots of reasons that people don’t go to see a therapist (stigma, cost, location, time, etc), but I am convinced that one of the largest fears about looking for a therapist is that people are afraid that they will get stuck with a therapist they don’t like or connect with. I mean, nothing is worse then spending your hard earned money and time to sit across from a therapist that you would rather not be in session with. I get that.

But here’s the good news. YOU DON”T HAVE TO. You are free to look for a therapist until you find one that you like. I know that may seem like a lot of hard work, but it’s worth it to find the right one.

I usually tell new clients that in our first session we are just getting to know each other (intake), and that I want them to know that they should feel the freedom to leave whenever they feel like it’s not a good fit. I tell them that they will know within the first few sessions, whether or not it’s the right fit, and that seems about right. And if it doesn’t work out, I will help them find a new therapist.

Is this a fear of yours, or am I way off base?

Have you ever been “stuck” with a therapist you didn’t like or connect with? What did you do?

There’s a Blog Post in Here Somewhere…

July 2, 2009 in Technology-Social Media with 1 Comment


Morse Code-Leno – The funniest movie is here. Find it

I was watching this video (which is a few years old), and a couple of thoughts came to mind:

  1. I was thinking about how quickly we are to announce the arrival of the latest, and the best new technology. Whether it be the iPhone, Twitter…whatever-you name it.
  2. We automatically assume that the latest is the greatest.
  3. And…who really cares which is faster.  Does it matter?

This all leads me to thinking about the tagline on John Dyer’s blog, Don’t Eat the Fruit. 

Technology is Fast, but Redemption is Slow.

Why? Because after the 4th of July weekend I will be heading into a new blogging series, which will basically be a re-evaluation of our engagement in social media/technology, and some of the necessary habits that I think must developed if we are going to find a balance between our use and non-use of technology.  Lots of people are asking questions around this topic, the latest being John Dyer’s post, Using Technology without Technology Using You: Got Any Tips?  Stop by John’s post and lend him your thoughts for a workshop he will be teaching.

And starting next week, look for a series of posts on the topic of fostering a social media/technology rhythm.

When Should I Go See a Therapist?

July 1, 2009 in Marriage-Family with 6 Comments

2621455898_311c5a8839
[image by Ted Percival]


This is a great question and was actually brought to my attention by a comments thread over on Facebook. In fact, one can Google this question and you will find a variety of answers, ranging from very specific things, to a more broad and general feeling of “feeling down” or “depressed.”

There is a not a right or wrong answer here, so let me just suggest a few reasons why you might want to go see a therapist.

  1. A general feeling of needing to talk with someone about some various things going on in your life.  These things can be serious (“I feel like taking my own life.” To more general, “I have just been feeling off…not sleeping…and wanted to talk with someone about this.”).


  2. You are looking for an unbiased, non-judging, caring person to listen to you.  In therapy speak, we might refer to this as unconditional positive regard. A lot of people feel like they can’t find this acceptance with friends, family, or their church, so therapy is often a good place to start. Now I’m not saying that all therapist will practice this, but I think really good ones do.


  3. Someone in your circle of influence (friends, family, co-workers) notices that there are some things in your life that are concerning to them, or that they feel like you might need someone to talk to about them.  So often people end up in therapy due to the suggestion and encouragement of others.


  4. Because you want to grow.  Therapy is not all about working on issues of depression, anxiety, fear, etc., but can be a great environment for personal growth (spiritual, emotional, physical, psychological).  There aren’t many places in your life where you can be in an environment that helps you grow , but a therapist is able to get a different perspective and help foster this growth with their experience, knowledge and tools.


  5. You are experiencing some minor or major life transitions.  Divorce.  Marriage.  Pregnancy.  Death.  College.  Career.  Etc.  These transitions and others often bring out new feelings, challenges, fears, etc. in a person, and it’s helpful to have a guide along that journey.


  6. You have no one else to talk to.  This could literally mean you can’t think of anyone to talk to, or there isn’t anyone who would really understand what it is you are going through.


  7. You are wanting anonymity as you seek help and work through the issue.  Therapy operates under very specific ethical guidelines regarding confidentiality, etc., and this may be important to you as you seek help, rather than going to your pastor, family member or friend.


  8. You are more specifically able to identify what it is you are struggling with, and you want a professional to help you.  This could be depression, anxiety, bi-polar, ADHD, fear, adultery, abuse of any kind, etc.


  9. Many of us don’t take the opportunity to explore the deeper meanings in our own life, or to wrestle with key issues of identity.  We often live on the surface, and never get beyond the things in life that just make us feel good and comfortable.  Seeing a therapist is a great opportunity to really find out who you are, and to be known.


  10. You have seen the positive benefits of therapy in the lives of those around you.  So you want to give it a try yourself.


  11. You might not have any reason, but simply the curiousity of the positive ways it could benefit your life are appealing to you.


  12. You are looking for some hope in your life.

Okay, those are just 12 reasons for when I think it would be beneficial for someone to go see a therapist. I’m sure there are more, but this is where you help me out.

What reasons are there for going to see a therapist?

Did any of the above reasons resonate with you?

What to Look for in a Therapist

June 30, 2009 in Marriage-Family with 1 Comment

2706508296_31cbe6c1d9

[image by Matti Mattila]

Now that we have talked about how to go about finding a good therapist in the previous post, let’s talk about some things you should be looking for. Now, this is going to differ based on a lot of factors, but I think most often, it will differ based on your history of how you have chosen therapists before, or how the community you are most active in goes about doing the process. So the criteria varies depending on who you are talking to.

But here are some things that I think are important.

  1. Education: Have they gone to school (undergraduate/graduate) to receive training for this profession? Or have they been through some sort of recognizable and approved training program?
  2. Credentials: Besides education, what other credentials do they carry that enhance their work in this profession?
  3. License: Are they licensed by the state they practice in?  This could vary, as some great therapists don’t carry a state license, but are sometimes certified by an organization (the AAPC is an example), and then they are usually monitored by some governing body such as a church or non-profit organization.  When looking online, look for a therapist’s license number which is supposed to be displayed in most cases. You will see things like LMFT, LMFT-A, LSW, LPC, etc., usually with some numbers following it.
  4. Accountability: This goes a little back to the previous item.  If they are not licensed through the state, or are not recommended or vouched for by a governing body, then be careful.  I have heard horror stories of people who have gone to therapy with someone who was not practicing under proper guidelines.

    5. Continue Reading…

Page 20 of 132« First...10«1819202122»304050...Last »