I've been working with couples for a long time. And one of the most frighteningly, vulnerable moments that I watch most couples experiencing -- is that moment when they have to take the risk and ask their partner for what they need/want/desire in the relationship.
They may desire to have more help around the house. They may want more sexual intimacy in the relationship. They might need more hel[...]
"A sociologist once observed that the prevalence of intimacy themes in mass media, pop psychology, and 'alternative lifestyles' suggests that were driven by hunger for intimate union. It may look like this on the surface, but my clinical work helped me realize that there's actually something else going on. We're driven by something that makes us look like we crave intimacy, but in fact we're after[...]
I've grown up in the Church (son of church planters, pastor, spiritual director, chaplain).
I've participated and volunteered in the Church my entire life.
I've been on staff of churches for about 15 years.
I love ministry, but I also know there are some inherent dangers in working in ministry.
Constant people pleasing (i.e. exhaustion).
Sometimes I'm hesitant to bring this subject up because in the past it has sometimes been met with resistance and people making comments that I'm talking in generalizations, or anti-technology, some sort of luddite.
Truth be told.
I'm writing this post more for myself than anyone because I get caught up in technology that interferes in my marriage and parenting. Name it...and it has distracted ([...]
No Weak Men Allowed....I think that is the message that men hear from the time they are little boys all the way through the rest of their lives.
I know I have heard that message.
I know the men I work with have heard that message.
It may come from parents, grandparents, coaches, teachers, friend's parents, pastors...culture. The message is sometimes delivered intentionally in order to wou[...]
Honestly, this is a question I have been wondering about for a long time.
The irony of the work that I do as a therapist is that ministry leaders are one of the biggest referrers to my practice. They often instinctively see someone who is hurting and in need of help, and they are quick to locate help for that person. They may do some counseling themselves, refer to a lay ministry, or make a rec[...]
About 8 years ago I was sitting in a marriage and family therapy class at Fuller Theological Seminary when the professor made an off the cuff remark about the marital satisfaction of a pastor and their spouse.
The professor's experience was that pastors (in this case men) often rank their marriages as being more satisfactory than their spouse does.
I have thought about that comment a lot ove[...]
Next Tuesday at 1pm Central(11amPST/2pmEST) I am very excited to be bringing you my webinar, 3 Simple Steps That Transform a Man's Potential to Live a Connected and Thriving Life!!!.
I have been working with men for a very long time in all kinds of settings -- ministry, community mental health agencies, private practice.
And what I most often hear men telling me, and what I see, are men that f[...]
"Everyone one of you when you walk into a room can probably tell the difference between a man who is life-giving. That is, he essentially breathes life into other people. He is encouraging, passionate, listening. You know what that looks and feels like, right?"
The men in the audience nodded their heads in agreement. So I continued.
"When you encounter that guy you walk away a different person. [...]
With so many marriage books out there, how do you know which books to choose from?
Last month I wrote a post asking you about what marriage books changed your life. I mentioned in the post that two and half years ago I wrote a post about the premarital books I recommend to couples.
"There lies within the heart of most human beings a deep longing for close companionship with another--one who like us, yet mysteriously and sometimes maddeningly different from us. That heartfelt urge has been there from the beginning, and most of us feel it long before we're aware of our sexuality." (pp. 9)
Those are the beautiful words that begin Adam Hamilton's new book, Love to Stay: Sex, Gr[...]