Comments on: That’s Not Who I Married: Allowing Your Spouse the Freedom to Be

By: Bill

Bill — Mon, 14 Nov 2011 20:59:10 +0000

I am not talking about new hobbies,etc its a major philosphy change in how a marriage should be

By: Bill

Bill — Mon, 14 Nov 2011 20:40:25 +0000

or better said you have examined your thoughts and feelings and realize you cannot accept the change??

By: Bill

Bill — Mon, 14 Nov 2011 20:39:08 +0000

What happens when you have really examined the change and realize you cant live with it ???

By: mary

mary — Mon, 16 Aug 2010 17:41:07 +0000

theresa,

i would like to know how you have been handling such an issue. i find myself in a similar situation and i am lost.

By: Limits On Our Knowledge of the Other

Limits On Our Knowledge of the Other — Tue, 09 Feb 2010 16:51:22 +0000

[...] But I’m beginning to realize that we are more mysterious to each other than we often give credit for, or even allow. Last week I wrote on the topic of allowing your spouse the freedom to be who they are, and the mysteries that are often a part of our … [...]

By: Rodlie Ortiz

Rodlie Ortiz — Thu, 04 Feb 2010 00:56:42 +0000

Interesting post. And I must admit that I feel like I would be frustrated if all of a sudden my wife started to change significantly. We're going on 7 years married this summer, and I feel like there should be an arc of change. Everyone grows. But too much change and they're no longer the person you fell in love with and decided to marry. Yeah, tough one for me. .-= Rodlie Ortiz´s last blog ..Are Your Goals Slowing You Down? =-.

By: Rhett Smith

Rhett Smith — Wed, 27 Jan 2010 23:30:08 +0000

Theresa,

Wow! Didn’t see that one coming.

My initial response is that that is a change around core values that spouses sort of agree to and expect from each other when they marry. I assume there are some core values that one can change that are okay, but the faith issue is tough, and one that I would hope doesn’t change. I think our faith changes a lot in our years of marriage, and some of those views can be hard to understand and deal with as a spouse, but “losing their Faith”–I don’t really have a good answer to.

My hope and prayer is that it would be only a stage along the journey, because if your spouse’s faith is also a core value that you share in, and that changes, I can see how devastating that can be.

I’m rambling now…need to stop and reflect on this more and then respond.

Thanks for provoking some great thought here.
.-= Rhett Smith´s last blog ..Some Initial Thoughts On My Upcoming Trip to Haiti =-.

By: Rhett Smith

Rhett Smith — Wed, 27 Jan 2010 23:26:38 +0000

Thanks…wish I could take credit for the photo
.-= Rhett Smith´s last blog ..Some Initial Thoughts On My Upcoming Trip to Haiti =-.

By: Rhett Smith

Rhett Smith — Wed, 27 Jan 2010 23:26:22 +0000

Adam,

That is true…..those are the hard changes to endure.
.-= Rhett Smith´s last blog ..Some Initial Thoughts On My Upcoming Trip to Haiti =-.

By: Rhett Smith

Rhett Smith — Wed, 27 Jan 2010 23:25:43 +0000

JD,

Thanks man. I really, really appreciate that. I wish when I did your guys premarital counseling I knew some of these things I’m talking about now Luckily you two are such a great couple that it made up for all my weaknesses.

I totally agree. Not a challenge for just our spouses and us, but how we interact with our children as well.

Rhett
.-= Rhett Smith´s last blog ..Some Initial Thoughts On My Upcoming Trip to Haiti =-.