Thanks for commenting. Lots and lots of good stuff you talked about.

I particularly liked this section:

“Also, while online impropriety can easily lead to IRL trouble, there is usually ample opportunity to nip things in the bud. Especially when negotiating early-stage communication – some people are a lot more open than others and communication can be misinterpreted. But if it seems trouble is brewing, the burner can be turned off, so to speak, before anything gets close to being out of hand. Steps can be taken to keep communication at a proper level, just as IRL.”

I think that when boundaries are crossed online, it really makes it even easier to cross them in IRL as you stated. It pretty much is laying the groundwork ahead of time.

And the boundaries between the sexes is an interesting thing as well. There is just a lot of confusion out there. I have seen it especially with young couples who are in their early 20′s right now and in early 30′s. They try to maintain these best friend relationships with the opposite sex….and do so to the harm of their marriage and relationship with their partner.

I had lots and lots of talks about this issue with college students of mine who were heading into marriage right after graduation.

Rhett
.-= Rhett Smith´s last blog ..A Little Bit of Everything for the Weekend =-.

It’s so easy for people to start oversharing things, especially with those who aren’t their spouse…even easier if their marriage isn’t doing great.

Thanks for sharing.
.-= Rhett Smith´s last blog ..A Little Bit of Everything for the Weekend =-.

Another factor may be that boundaries between the sexes have been so in flux since the 60s. I know many think this is a bad thing, but I think it’s good – I believe that men and women are peers and there is no problem if they act as such. But this adds to the confusion, especially for younger people who have grown up in a more egalitarian and divorce-prone culture.

But I don’t think that the internet necessarily fosters infidelity — just makes it easier. A person with boundary issues online will have them offline as well. I think you speak rightly of identity in your article — when we find our identity in Christ, we will have awareness of and dedication to our other covenant identities such as wife, husband, mother, father, friend, etc. If we are focused on honoring these, then we will not indulge impulsive, selfish desires but be able to put them in proper context.

Also, while online impropriety can easily lead to IRL trouble, there is usually ample opportunity to nip things in the bud. Especially when negotiating early-stage communication – some people are a lot more open than others and communication can be misinterpreted. But if it seems trouble is brewing, the burner can be turned off, so to speak, before anything gets close to being out of hand. Steps can be taken to keep communication at a proper level, just as IRL.

You asked for input on how people protect their marriages online – I keep my husband informed of my online communication, especially any that I think he would want or need to know about. We often discuss it just as we would IRL communication. He has full access to any of my accounts at any time.
.-= Bonnie´s last blog ..The Soul of Art and Life =-.

Yeah, John Dyer’s article was great. He is a very smart man. Check out his blog http://www.donteatthefruit.com when you get a chance.

And I will check out the Covenant Eyes blog. I have been a Covenant Eyes member for almost 2 years now I think. Great tool. I’m always recommending it.

Rhett
.-= Rhett Smith´s last blog ..A Million Miles in a Thousand Years: What I Learned While Editing My Life by Donald Miller =-.

Thanks again for passing along the article. Check out the Covenant Eyes blog some time if you are interested in the subject of accountability.

Blessings!
.-= Luke Gilkerson´s last blog ..Alfred Kinsey, Christian Culture, and Sexual Repression: Reexamining Old Beliefs =-.

I don’t think it’s trivial at all. I think it’s the small things that we overlook that eventually get us into trouble later on.

Yeah, very easy to get involved in 3rd party flirting. Thanks for sharing.

Rhett
.-= Rhett Smith´s last blog ..Is Facebook Making Your Marriage Vulnerable? =-.