[image by Tom Purves]
One of the things about Twitter that I have not quite been able to explain that well is why I think the little details in life that one tweets about (eating cereal, going for a walk, crying after that movie, hanging with friends, etc.) are so fascinating. I can’t tell you how many times various relationships in my life have been enhanced through what sometimes seem like trivial knowledge shared through Twitter. It’s quite extraordinary. So I love coming across this idea of “ambient intimacy” which I think explains it well.
I find this post by Leisa on “ambient intimacy” so right on. Check out her thoughts below from her post on this subject.
I find myself talking about Twitter quite a lot. I’m not the only one. The behaviours that Twitter has made more visible are tremendously interesting.
I’ve been using a term to describe my experience of Twitter (and also Flickr and reading blog posts and Upcoming). I call it Ambient Intimacy.
Ambient intimacy is about being able to keep in touch with people with a level of regularity and intimacy that you wouldn’t usually have access to, because time and space conspire to make it impossible. Flickr lets me see what friends are eating for lunch, how they’ve redecorated their bedroom, their latest haircut. Twitter tells me when they’re hungry, what technology is currently frustrating them, who they’re having drinks with tonight.
Who cares? Who wants this level of detail? Isn’t this all just annoying noise? There are certainly many people who think this, but they tend to be not so noisy themselves. It seems to me that there are lots of people for who being social is very much a ‘real life’ activity and technology is about getting stuff done.
There are a lot of us, though, who find great value in this ongoing noise. It helps us get to know people who would otherwise be just acquaintances. It makes us feel closer to people we care for but in whose lives we’re not able to participate as closely as we’d like.
Knowing these details creates intimacy. (It also saves a lot of time when you finally do get to catchup with these people in real life!) It’s not so much about meaning, it’s just about being in touch.
Have you found that “ambient intimacy” has enhanced your relationships? How?
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That is a great phrase. I was talking about it with some friends tonight. My friend totally agreed with it. She saw about 6 or so friends from high school that she doesn't usually see in person but are all friends on twitter. Their "ambient intimacy" gave them a relational comfort that was quite disproportionate from the amount of time they spent together in high school.
I friend of my wife's is friends on facebook with me. We are both stay at home "parents" (I am actually a nanny for my niece not a parent). But we frequently talk over facebook about the little details of our day. She actually talked about missing my wife and I's posts when we were on vacation and not posting much. By her description she actually missed us, not just our posts, even though I only have met her a couple times and my wife only sees her every couple months.
Yeah, I think that’s a great way to describe it.
Ambient Intimacy.
The whole social media world amazes me. I am astounded by it. I crave the connection, but find myself having a problem connecting to it. There is too much real life in my life to have a fruitful social media life. Many would say, “Well, good for you.” But there’s a piece of me that wants ambient intimacy.
Almost as if it were a window into my more contemplative soul, a place where I could still interact relationally, but rest the physical counterpart that accompanies my high degree of communication. I want people to read my blog, but I don’t have space to read theirs. I want to RT and get involved Twitter conversations, beyond the limitations of my time and space, but twitter twice a week. It’s wild…I’m a social media wanna be, ambiently unintimate.
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