[image from wearitdotcom]
When someone says it better than I can, then my philosophy is…let them say it. So the following is a long quote from the article Suburban Spirituality: The land of SUV’s and soccer leagues tends to weather the soul in peculiar ways, but it doesn’t have to.
For all of its foibles—which at its worst include lousy preaching, political infighting, self-centeredness, stagnation, a gaggle of special-interest groups—the poky local church (C. S. Lewis referred to the pokey little church in the Four Loves) in suburbia is still the most fertile environment for spiritual development there. Genuine spiritual progress doesn’t happen without a long-term attachment to a poky local church. I’m all for improving the organization of a local church to make it more biblically effective, but the maddening frustration that prompts someone to leave one church for another may be the precise thing that holds great potential for spiritual progress—if one stays. “Just as surely as God desires to lead us to a knowledge of genuine Christian fellowship, so surely must we be overwhelmed by a great disillusionment with others, with Christians in general, and, if we are fortunate, with ourselves,” Dietrich Bonhoeffer wrote. “Only that fellowship which faces such disillusionment, with all its unhappy and ugly aspects, begins to be what it should be in God’s sight, begins to grasp in faith the promise that is given to it.”
Disillusionment with one’s church, then, is not a reason to leave but a reason to stay and see what God will create in one’s life and in the local church. What I perceive to be my needs—”I need a church with a more biblical preacher who uses specific examples from real life”—may not correspond to my true spiritual needs. Often I am not attuned to my true spiritual needs. Thinking that I know my true needs is arrogant and narcissistic. Staying put as a life practice allows God’s grace to work on the unsanded surfaces of my inner life. Seventeenth-century French Catholic mystic François Fénelon wrote, “Slowly you will learn that all the troubles in your life—your job, your health, your inward failings—are really cures to the poison of your old nature.”
I would add “your church” to his list; that is, all the troubles in one’s church are really cures to the poison of one’s old nature, or, as the Apostle Paul put it in Romans 7, the “sinful nature.” The biggest problem in any church I attend is myself—and my love of self and my penchant to roam when I sense my needs aren’t being met.
Staying put and immersing oneself in the life of a gathered community forces one into eventual conflict with other church members, with church leadership, or with both. Frustration and conflict are the raw materials of spiritual development. All the popular reasons given for shopping for another church are actually spiritual reasons for staying put. They are a means of grace, preventing talk of spirituality from becoming sentimental or philosophical. Biblical spirituality is earthy, face-to-face, and often messy.
Comments?
Reminds me of the Hauerwas quote (sorry, can’t find the reference) that goes something like:
‘Instead of trying to find the “right” church, look for the worst church you can find and work to make it better.’
Scott,
So true. Hauerwas has some great stuff. Thanks for sharing that. I know it's hard to stay put……
Rhett, just wanted to mention Joe Thorn’s blog, sub*text: The Gospel in the Suburban Context and his recent post Love and Hate in Suburbia. Thought it might be worth looking at for your series.
Thanks man…that is a great site.
As background, my church has 4,000 members and I’ve been a member for twenty years (I’m 57). It is a church that is great at attracting new members but does poorly at making disciples. On vacation last summer I attended services in a charismatic church in another state. I loved the service in that church (over two hours long) and the pastor offered this comment to the congregation, “If you feel like you are a lukewarm Christian please come down front and let us pray for you.” That is when I realized that my churches goal seems to be to create lukewarm Christians. I have mentioned my experience to two of the three pastors in our church. They agreed that we are not focused on making disciples but seeing that we were headed into a capital campaign they are not about to rock the boat. Although it would mean leaving a lot of old friends behind, I’m leaning towards finding a new church where making disciples is a high priority. Your posting stirred me and I would appreciate your feedback on whether you would still stick with my church of twenty years.
Steve,
Thanks for being honest and sharing. I know what you mean. And I have heard that phrase a lot about not rocking the boat….especially when money is needed. That is a great insight–creating lukewarm Christians.
Steve, as far as your question…I can't say, since I don't know your exact circumstances. But I do think there is a time to leave, and a time to stay of course. That is a tough part of the discernment process. But I have left before when I felt like my time was through.