Rhett- I agree that life coaching is probably something that would be really helpful for many people in this area. Sometimes it can come from a boss/supervisor but more often than not they didn’t have that person or don’t have those skills.

I think it is crucial as a ministry leader that you have regularly scheduled meetings to talk about life stuff. Asking hard questions and probing to see how things are going is huge to creating an atmosphere of honesty and reflection.

The biggest thing in helping transition is simply being aware. Be aware of both where your staff are & where they are going. Help them to recognize how their present behaviour/leadership style will affect their future. Help them to set realistic goals. Help them to understand that their family, and their ministry with and to their family is also a ministry & example to others.

I’ve also seen people turn a blind eye to their staff & their transitions. They pretend like the work they do is the only thing they need to be concerned about & not the staff as a person. In my opinion, that’s simply a lack of leadership. That’s cowardice. If someone is on your staff, you have to care about them as a person & that includes their life transitions. You can never force youself into their lives, force them to approach or navigate these times if transition the way you would, but you are not living up to your end if you simply ignore them.

Now, with a wife and two children, I wouldn’t dream of doing that. There is still a lot of discussion and even tension in our family when discussing time spent working, and whether that would be better spent with the family. There doesn’t seem to be a good answer.

Coaching seems to be a buzz word that’s defined, packaged and presented a whole lot of different ways and by a whole lot of different people. But at it’s core it’s really simple. Intentional discipleship. One on One relationship. These two components are the beginning of helping leaders advance in life and leadership, set boundaries, live out a life plan that alleviates guilt and a sense of obligation, grow spiritually, and so on and so on…

I’m convinced that the #1 need among leaders today is an intentional process of discipleship and development that will assist them in becoming sustainable leaders that can then begin to develop their team, staff, congregational folks, etc…the same way. I have such a heart for this because I was a pastor (am still I guess) and took the pill, went down the rabbit hole of coaching and have found that nothing affected me more positively, gave me more clarity or helped me move forward towards my God given calling than coaching.

One more thing on this too, pastoring can be amazingly lonely. And anyone pastors that disagrees I don’t think is being entirely honest. Having a coach is like having an outside voice, someone that is a constant challenger, courageous confronter and (like the alliteration?) compassionate companion to help you as you lead.