Archive - November, 2008

Exposing Ugly: Twitter and Facebook Status Updates on Election Night

November 6, 2008 in Technology-Social Media with 21 Comments

Wow! Watching history being made with @h_smith. Remarkable.
07:06 PM November 04, 2008 from txt

That was my Tweet that I texted from my phone when I found out Barack Obama won the election. That Tweet was delivered from Twitter, to Facebook, automatically updating my Facebook status…just like all my Twitters do.

Getting Nasty
Seems like a relatively benign procedure. But if you were paying attention to either Twitter or Facebook on Election night, well, then you got a taste of what America thought about Obama being elected.

Let’s just say that mixed in with all the amazing comments, was some downright ugly and nasty statements. That’s to be expected. But what has many talking is that a lot of the comments that were appalling were coming from not only young conservatives, buy Christians as well.

I get that we all have our moments where we say stupid things. We send that email we shouldn’t send. We post that blog we shouldn’t have posted. We send that Twitter, or update our Facebook status and wish we could have taken it back. With instant access there isn’t a barrier that causes us to pause and think anymore. I am guilty myself of saying lots of stupid things online.

But watching the micro-blogging of the Election night was an education in in and of itself.

What Others Were Saying
Originally I didn’t think it was worth commenting on, but then I began to see that many were talking about what was happening on Twitter and Facebook status updates. I noticed Wess Daniels Tweet, @cwdaniels,

Talking about Christians facebook responses after the election in the Church in American Culture class.

He may or may not have been talking about Christians. Or it may have been about young Conservatives. Whatever it was, it was worthy of taking up class time in seminary and bringing forth a discussion. Maybe Wess can comment on this post.

Then I was having lunch with some youth leaders who were so taken back by the comments of the Christian kids in their youth group that they decided that their next Bible study would be devoted to what was being said online. They pointed me to this article. I have linked the entire post in this text…scroll down to see the instant thoughts of young conservatives after Obama was elected. Young Conservatives Mourn Obama’s Victory on Facebook:

The best thing about the end of this election is that it just keeps going on and on and on and on! A sampling of doomsday Facebook status updates (some, we’re hoping, tongue in cheek) from young conservatives mourning the end of freedom, America and the world:

… is going to hell, because her sister voted for the Anti-Christ.

… is going to go shopping for a burka tomorrow. Continue Reading…

Becoming a Heretic on Church Ministry: Church Leadership

November 6, 2008 in Ministry-Theology with 3 Comments

The Context
This is Part 2 in the continued series, Becoming a Heretic on Church Ministry.

Last week we looked at Becoming a Heretic on Church Ministry: The Sermon.

When we think about what a heretic on/in Church ministry is, I am taking a cue from Seth Godin’s book Tribes: We Need You To Lead Us. See my review for Leadership Network here.

Godin says:

Challenging the status quo requires a committment, both public and private. It involves reaching out to others and putting yourideas on the line. (Or pinning your Ninety-five Theses to the church door). (pp. 49)

and later in the book, Godin says:

Religion and faith are often confused. Someone who opposes faith is called an atheist and widely reviled. But we don’t have a common word for someone who opposes a particular religion.

Heretic will have to do.

If faith is the foundation of a belief system, then religion is the facade and the landscaping. It’s easy to get caught up in the foibles of a corporate culture and the systems that have been built over time, but they have nothing at all to do with the faith that built the system in the first place.

Change is made by people, by leaders who are proud to be called heretics because their faith is never in question. (pp. 84)

Church Leadership
One of the areas that I want to look at is “church leadership” which is such a broad topic and can literally mean anything. As we look at this topic, I want us to remember…I want to remember…that this is really an exploration on looking differently at some areas in Church that we have often taken for granted, or have always performed the function the same way. And I’m wondering, and believing, that we need to re-think, re-imagine some new ways to do things. As we look at this list you will see some of the strong influence I have received from the world of technology and social media, and how the tools they provide are setting the agenda for a new way of leadership…actually, I think it takes us back to a more Biblical form of leadership (minus the internet). So here are just 5 areas that I have been thinking about…that I think need tinkering, re-imagining, etc. What do you think? I would like to hear your thoughts on these ideas that seem heretical in some circles…but may be common sense to you.

How?

  • Participatory: Church leadership canvtake cues from the world of technology and social media and understand the need and desire for participation.  The reason that Facebook, Twitter, MySpace, Yahoo Answers, blogs, etc. are so popular is that it offers individuals the ability to participate.  Not only can they participate in regards to their own content, but they have an opportunity to participate in the larger content…larger narrative of what is happening around them.  They participate in the content they manufacture online, and they participate in causes, both global and local that have their source in origin in the content of others. I think most churches would love for everyone to participate. In fact, they hope they do.  It’s just that church leadership doesn’t structure itself in such a way that communicates or makes it possible for everyone to participate.  Participation is not about a few people telling others how to participate…participation is about opening up the avenues that allow others to participate more fully with the gifts, desires and skills that God has blessed them with.Does your chuch leadership structure itself in such a way that it communicates to the whole church that participation by everyone is important?  How?

    • Continue Reading…

My Prayer Last Night in 140 Characters or Less

November 5, 2008 in Uncategorized with 2 Comments

My prayer on Twitter last night.

My prayer is that we would keep the new leaders in our prayers..that we would walk and serve humbly..and that we build up and not tear down

Donald Miller’s Journey from Reagan Republican to Obama Democrat

November 3, 2008 in Ministry-Theology with 2 Comments

Great blog post by Donald Miller, From Reagan to Obama, a Brief Political History

Our theology insinuated that shortly after original sin, once Adam and Eve at the apple, they registered as Democrats and went on with their lives, trying to create large governments that would enable lazy people through expensive social programs. We believed we were right and they were wrong, our ideas were Biblical and their ideas were pagan. And we did not know, exactly, who “they” were.

Searching for Intimacy Online and with Social Media Tools

November 3, 2008 in Ministry-Theology with 9 Comments

Looking to Connect
It is no surprise to any of us that people are looking online to connect with others, and that in the process a certain level of intimate needs are met. Whether it’s a chat group, dating service, blog or class reunion site, people are finding connection.

The questions for you…the question for me…the question for us is: Are we getting our needs for intimacy online, rather than in the relationships that we are a part of (i.e. family, spouse, friends, etc.)? Do we spend more time feeding the relationships we are a part of in person, or the ones online?

I have the tendency to ramble (can be a gift, but often a curse), so let me break it down very simply.

When our need for intimacy and connection are not being met in our relationships, we often turn towards the place (most often another person; addiction; work, etc.) where we can connect, find intimacy. Ultimately, we not only want intimacy (and when I talk about intimacy, I am not speaking just sexually, but in general), but we want to feel valued for who we are, what we have to say, and what we have to offer. If then, the relationships we are in do not provide a place where we feel safe, valued, affirmed, loved….where we don’t connect and have a level of intimacy….WELL, then we often turn to other things.

Instant Affirmation
That’s what makes the internet, online communities and social media tools so powerful and addicting. Unlike the reality of a face to face relationship, online communities can often provide instant affirmation, and access to connection, and a certain level of intimacy that sometimes is harder to achieve when you are dealing with another person, in the flesh. Online we can be anyone we want to be…we can present ourselves in any shape, size or manner. It is easy to be liked, and if someone doesn’t like us, or affirm us, well then we can just remove them from our community or shut down communication. That is much more difficult to do in person.

What I’m trying to communicate is much more complex than what I can, or am wanting to achieve in this post. But I do want you…I do want me…I do want us to be more AWARE of this issue.

Let me give you a prime example. Let’s say you are a blogger (and most of us are) and you have developed an online following that is pretty affirming. They like what you write, they leave comments, your traffic is a boost to your ego. Well, because of that affirmation you turn to that channel to find that connection. And if you aren’t careful, you stop paying as much attention to your relationships (family, spouse, children, friends, etc.). You have this online community that is affirming and an instant connection…so when family life isn’t as quick to affirm or provide connection, it becomes an easy shift to start paying more attention to the online world.

The danger in all this is that it’s really a bind. People often seek affirmation from the online world life when their home/work life isn’t so great. And other times, just spending so much time online without any boundaries can lead to neglect of our in person relationships. And when they get difficult, it’s just easier to stay online.

Be Aware
As someone who is engaged in the world of social media, therapy and ministry I would just say for you to be aware…to take stock, assess a few things.  Ask some questions.

  • How much time am I spending online a day?  What does my time online take away from?
  • What kind of social activities or relationships am I getting involved in?  Something as innocent as searching for, befriending and communicating with old friends online may be an attempt to fill some need for connection you aren’t getting at home.
  • Are your in person relationships being neglected in favor of your online ones?
  • Are you getting your needs met for connection, affirmation, love, acceptance, intimacy, etc. online?
  • If you and your spouse/significant other aren’t connecting, are you taking the time to talk to each other about it, or do you withdraw and seek it somewhere else..in this case online?
  • At the end of the week (outside of your required online time needed for your job), when you tally up your time online in your freetime vs. the time you spend with your family, spouse, children, etc….which ends up being more?  Why do you think that is?
  • Does your online life affirming you in ways that you aren’t getting from your in person relationships?  Or has your time online taken you away from developing and working on those relationships in person, therefore they aren’t as fulfilling as the ones online?
  • Do you belong to an accountability group that not only keeps you accountable for other parts of your life, but your online life as well.


Resources
I want to just suggest and point out a couple of resources.  Some of these are more aimed towards the sexual intimacy that many seek for online, but I suggest them to you to just point out the larger issue…and that is this:  That our online behavior affects our relationships, and sometimes online community is easier than our in person relationships, just reinforcing our desire for quick affirmation that we seek online.  And now, many professional and lay communities are really starting to acknowledge how our technological lives impact not only us, but those we are in relationship with.

Just check out the current issue of the AAMFT Journal of Marital and Family Therapy. By browsing a list of some of the articles you can see the growing concern of how our online worlds, technological lives are impacting our relationships.

Cybersex and the E-teen: What Marriage and Family Therapists Should Know

Technology, Relationships, and Problems: A Research Synthesis

Emotional and Sexual Infidelity Offline and in Cyberspace
Cybersex: The Impact of a Contemporary Problem on the Practices of Marriage and Family Therapists

Therapists’ Assessment and Treatment of Internet Infidelity Cases
Assisting A Concerned Person to Motivate Someone Experiencing Cybersex Into Treatment : Application of Invitational Intervention: The ARISE Model to Cybersex

Also, check out the book, In the Shadows of the Net: Breaking Free from Complusive Online Sexual Behavior.

Plug….United Nerd LifeGroup
This is just one place where I’m learning a lot about the balance between living online, yet setting healthy boundaries in my online space, especially in regards to my family, relationships, work, etc. Join us tomorrow night for a great conversation at Tony Steward leads us in the below discussion.

When: 9:00–10:00PM Central Time

Where: http://www.ustream.tv/channel/tonystewards-show

Topic: We are heading into week 4 of our 6 week study on getting UnPlugged as we are all online and into technology. This week we are going to be talking about having healthy intimacy in our lives and relationships. There is nothing like the distraction of technology and information overload to kill our opportunities for intimacy.

Join the Facebook Group, United Nerd LifeGroup
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