My great friend and former co-worker RO Smith always “complements” me for being a co-nurterer of my daughter along with my wife. RO will make comments about us as a typical “postmodern family”, defying traditional and stereotypical role playing of the sexes in our marriage and family structure. I take all that with a great complement as RO intends it to be. Traditional or non-traditional, we have had to adjust to each other’s vaules, roles and expectations, as well as what it is like to live in the high cost of living state of California. Which makes life interesting in a dual-income, one baby family.
As I enter my second week as a full-time stay at home dad I want to post a couple of blog entries that RO wrote a while back at Collection of Crumbs on The State of the Postmodern Family.
The two posts are, The State of the Postmodern Family (Part 1), and (Part 2).
A lot of RO’s thoughts and research are derived from the Family Ministry Class at Fuller taught by Dr. Chap Clark. Check out the post and see what you think about the values, roles and expectations that RO talks about.
I’m curious to hear what you think.
{ 3 comments… read them below or add one }
It shouldn’t be a surprise that a man can be capable of being a nurturing father, but unfortunately it is. Society, with the help of media, portray the common man as idiots (many are) who can barely dress and feed themselves.
I see many women who are selfish with their own careers and seem to be inconvenienced with being a ‘mother’ and wife. While I believe fathers are capable of being nurturing and loving, it’s definitely a different dynamic we bring to the table. A mother’s love cannot be duplicated and visa-versa.
Was this a hard decision for your family?
Joe,
Hey, thanks for sharing. You are right, it shouldn’t be a surprise that men are capable of being nurturing, but it often is as you stated.
I also don’t like how men/father’s are portrayed in the media (i.e. Homer on the Simpsons, Al Bundy on Married with Children just to name two). I also know moms aren’t always portrayed fairly as well.
The decision was not so hard with my wife and I because it was also due to necessity. We are in the transition of a move to a new state and my work was winding down. So it made sense for me to stay at home. I think because we were married in our early 30′s as well we did some negotiating that maybe early couples don’t do, or because we had had careers prior, we worked them around our family.
I will blog more about this. We are actually wanting to head toward some more traditional roles in some ways. My wife wants to stay at home and raise our baby, maybe working a little from home if she wants to. I want to be in a career, but one that affords me the flexibility to be at home a lot. When it comes to other things (shopping, cooking, cleaning, etc, etc. we just share the roles).
rhett
Rhett,
The most important thing is that you and your wife are working as a team. That’s traditional enough for me.
Way too many couples are not on the same page. It’s hard to find a balance. I love spending as much time with my family, so I try to work from home when I can. Society is certainly hostile to the quality of life most families would like to achieve, but it’s certainly worth the fight….
Joe