Archive - October, 2005
Making a donation to the family of Kyle Lake
If you are interested in making a donation to the family of Kyle Lake (see post below), go here and read
Prayers and Thoughts…….
Kyle is on the left
Last night, one of my friends living in Waco, TX called me to tell me that he was on his way to a prayer service for pastor Kyle Lake who was electrocuted while getting ready to perform a baptism. Kyle was the pastor of UBC in Waco, which is the church that most of you know most likely, because the David Crowder Band leads worship there.
Brian McLaren reflects on the death of Kyle Lake.
Tony Jones has some thoughts on Kyle Lake.
Emergent asks that you keep these people in prayer
Please be in prayer for his wife and three kids, as well as his church body.
Thoughts for the weekend, mainly regarding the trails that were blazed from our night with Donald Miller…..
Malcolm Gladwell
Malcolm Gladwell in his insightful book, The Tipping Point talks about three different types of people: connectors, mavens and salesmen. I tend to see myself, and my blog as performing more of the function of a connector at times, rather than anything else. My mind tends to be all over the place, and so I enjoy connecting you to many different things. Some bloggers love to stay on one topic for weeks, but I just can’t do that. There are too many things that interest me, and that I am wrestling with at this point.
So as I leave you for the weekend, I want to connect you with some things. Interestingly enough, the things that I am going to connect you to, are things that were born out of this last Wednesday night, when we had Donald Miller with us.
Though he spent a lot of time reading from the soon to be published, To Own A Dragon:Rewriting the Legacy of an Invisible Father
it was probably during the Q and A time that shed the most light on who Donald Miller is, and where he stands on certain issues. This was also the time that probably caused the most uneasiness in some people, while some were more spurred on to want to actually make some changes in their own life, as well as in society, especially in how it relates to issues of social justice. Some of the questions ranged from his views on Christianity, to his own personal spiritual life, but the most often asked questions were in regards to his political views, and more accurately how it relates to Christianity and evangelicalism. The question that seemed to take him more passionately down this path was the following:
“What books are you reading, or who do you like to read?”
The book that seemed to be at the top of his list right now is:
Democracy Matters: Winning the Fight Against Imperialism
by Cornel West.
This was the one book that Donald Miller came back to on several occassions, while at one time stating that Cornel West is a prophet. This book has definitely been impacting Donald’s life as well as some other people that I know. I have also had some students ask me about the book, or tell me that that would be the next book they were going to read. I am pretty familiar with the work of Cornel West, but I have not read any of his books to this point.
And as my mind began to move in different directions, the issue of Cornel West led me to a blog that I read by Steve Bush because I know that Steve has been greatly impacted by Cornel West also. And as I got to Steve’s blog, I came across this statement by Cornel West in regards to New Orleans.
So for those who were interested in what Donald Miller had to say, and who were interested in his plugging of Cornel’s book, I hope you are supplied with some information.
And finally, Steve’s blog led me to this post on the Emergent Church, which was taken from an article in First Things, and written by Richard John Neuhaus.
The article is a critique of the Emerging Church and I think Neuhaus tends to paint with some pretty broad brush strokes, and lumping everything together. And by that, I mean that he tends to throw the baby out with the bath water. There are definitely some things that have been lumped into the Emergent Movement, or conversation, or whatever you want to call it that are probably not worth keeping, while there are also some great things. I agree that some of the identification of emergent with what is cool, hip or trendy is a big problem, but I believe that some of their concerns regarding missional communities, social justice issues, etc. are worth reviewing, worth rethinking, etc.
I want a radio show too…..
Looks like some people that you may know or read are possibly looking into doing a radio show.
Last Spring I had the privilege of sitting in the studio with Hugh Hewitt one day for about the first hour. Not as a guest, but simply watching, though he did talk to me for a couple of minutes. Not one of my better moments. Everything happened so fast, and I pretty much sounded…well, stupid. Nonetheless, I found the experience of watching a live radio show amazing.
Radio would be great….so if anyone is ready to start a show, let me know…haaa.
Last night with Donald Miller…….
Last night was a great night. I invited Donald Miller into our group with the intention of stirring some things up. And by that, I mean getting people to think about some things that they normally don’t think about. Getting people to ask some tough questions. Getting people to realize that their view of Christianity, may not be shared by other Christians. Getting people to realize for example, that there are Democrats who are Christians, not just Republicans. Getting people to realize that there are other important social issues such as poverty, AIDS, Debt Relief, fiscal responsibility…not just the issues of abortion and homosexuality, that we tend to think of. Etc., etc. And that he did. While many of my students left the church pretty fired up and ready to take on the world in a new way, a few guests didn’t seemed to be as thrilled about some of the things Donald Miller had to say. Those people approached me with pretty quick, gut level reactions. Whether it was his statements on politics or the marketplace, or Christianity, there were definitely some things to think about. Like his books that I have read, he helped me look at things that I don’t tend to look at, and to ask myself if I am missing the point at times. And if he did this for others, then I believe it was a successful night.
Donald Miller began the night with about a 30 minute reading of his new book, To Own A Dragon; then did Q and A with the audience; and then closed the night by reading the author’s note from Through Painted Deserts. He was more than gracious, sticking around to sign books and talk with people until about 11pm.
I very much enjoyed my time with Donald Miller, and on our way from his hotel to church, I had an opportunity to do a very short and quick interview, picking his brain regarding some things that I have been wondering about. Nothing hard hitting, but just a few general questions that I was curious about.
The transcribed interview is below, and should be up on a Podcast, or downloadable audio file within the next day or so.
(to make the transcribed interview more legible from a reading standpoint, I have removed the “ums”, hesitations, or mumblings, that came from either Donald or I. But the entire interview is intact)
Rhett Smith: Donald, I was wondering, what is the best thing about being an author, and a writer, and traveling around and speaking at conferences to people?
Donald Miller: That’s really it. It’s traveling around and speaking, getting to meet people that have read your books. It’s really a great thing, because I can write a book, and the people that respond to it are usually people who are stimulated by the same ideas as me, or the same music, or the same books, or that sort of thing. So you tend to meet people who you just get along with pretty well. It’s sort of like a classified ad, but, you know there’s just thousands of them, so it works that way. Yeah, but its definitely…yeah, that just the thing. And being able to speak and have so many people listen, it’s a real blessing.
Rhett Smith: Since you speak to a variety of different audiences, Christians, non-Christians, seekers, kind of all over the place. Is there one central theme, or message, or what is it you are trying to convey to them, or that you hope they walk away with?
Donald Miller: There’s not. Every night is different, and some nights are just entertaining, and you are just trying to be funny, and that’s it. Tonight is a night, not unlike that. The sort of hidden agenda, if there is a hidden agenda is to show Christians how to laugh at themselves, and to show people who aren’t Christians that Christians can be normal, and entertaining, or whatever. Because I think, you know a lot of, a lot of sort of Christian attempts to reach out if you will, to people who aren’t Christians, they make them feel creepy. You know, and it feels like an Amway pitch. And so just to try to reverse as much of that as possible is often, is often the main agenda. But there are different talks. There is an academic talk for an academic campus, or reformed. Church talks for churches. And book readings for more literary audiences. So it just depends.
Rhett Smith: And that last question, and I think you probably get this all the time, but I’m just wondering. Do you have any advice that you tell someone who is interested in writing, and kind of wants to write a book, and no matter what topic it is, what is one piece of advice you would give them?
Donald Miller: Okay, well. Buy these two books: On Writing Well, by Willam Zinsser, and Bird by Bird by Anne Lamott. After you finish memorizing those books, move onto The Writing Life by Annie Dillard, and she will get you in the mood to write. But those are the best things. As soon as you have a final manuscript, if you know someone in publishing, send the book to them, if you don’t, attend a writerâs workshop where agents will be present. That is really important. So that’s sort of practical advice on writing, but it’s certainly a great life, and even if you never get published, it’s worth articulating your thoughts on paper. It just helps you organize what you know, what you believe, what you lived. And those sorts of things.
Rhett Smith: Thanks a lot.
Donald Miller: Yeah.
Donald Miller tonight….
Donald Miller is speaking to our college group tonight. Should be a great night.
I will be interviewing him this evening before he comes out and speaks to us, so look for the a transcribed interview, or dowloadable file, sometime tomorrow.
Some thoughts on last nights post….
I was hesitant to post the blog entry I did last night. For several reasons. 1) Is is approrpriate for my blog? 2) Am I not giving people enough credit for being discerning? 3) Etc., etc.
My main reason for posting the article was just to bring attention to people about what is going on in our churches. This probably wasn’t surprising to most people, because we have either a) witnessed it ourselves, b) been a victim of the church “pick up”, or 3) have tried to “pick up” people ourselves at church. And when I say “pick up” I don’t mean sexually, though that may have been the intent, or is the intent of some of you.
But as the director of a college ministry, we have had to, on several occassions ask different people not to come back to our group, or have had to pull them aside becuase they were acting inappropriately…mainly being overly aggressive with the women in our ministry. Interestingly enough, we have not yet had to pull a college student aside, but rather, adults who have come intentionally into our group to “pick up” on women. Some of the instances have been more severe than others.
I believe that the women in our ministry are very wise and discerning people, and that we as a community do our best to make the church/worship environment a safe place for everyone.
So I posted the article as a reminder to our students that we need to continue, both men and women, to make this a safe environment for everyone. And to bring attention to those people who might be unaware of some of the more sly efforts of those who try to aggressively pursue our students in a threatening way.
Everyone is hoping to find someone at church that they can connect with, date, fall in love with, and eventually get married. Well, maybe not everyone, but a lot of us. After all, I met my wife at one of our young adult worship services. So that is not the issue. A lot of us are looking for Christian people to enter into a relationship with. I am just more concerned about those people with bad intentions, who actually use church, or the worship service as a time and place to scout and recruit after women.
And I might just be more sensitive to this issue, because this has been a big problem for us in our larger church body at times. Recently my friend just said to me that his buddies were commenting on how the 11am church service at Bel Air, is the hottest night club in town. So maybe I’m just really aware of some of the dynamics that go on during our worship services.
Ultimately….this is to be expected from Maxim. But maybe I would actually be more concerned about it if it was coming from Christianity Today or some Christian publication.
At any rate, this has turned down other directions from some other bloggers:
Check out Sycamore who posts about The Need for Protection in Church
Which is followed by a response from Cerulean Sanctum who has a different take than Brian.
Scoring in Church…very disturbing article.
What’s the difference with church, and the bar scene above? Apparently nothing. But maybe that’s because I’m pretty cynical at times…..read on.
This is very disturbing as well, but not at all surprising. About a month and a half ago I was sitting in the jury waiting room of a court in downtown LA, waiting for selection to a jury. And I brought nothing to read. Stupid move. So as I was browsing over people’s shoulders around me to see what they were reading, I came across the article below in Maxim magazine, whom the guy across the isle was reading. All I saw was the title, “How To: Score in Church” and at that point I needed to know nothing else. I had pretty much forgotten about it, until a college pastor friend of mine, Chris Gonzalez, pastor of Vital Impact College ministry in Tempe, AZ sent it to me today, saying it might make for good blogging material.
And he is right. Let’s just say that when I Googled the article myself at church, my church filtered it out, so I am pasting the article in its entirety here; and I don’t need to send you to the site anyways of Maxim magazine.
Read the article for yourself below. And if you are wondering why I am posting on this topic, well, consider it more of a public service announcement to the girls in my college group, so that they can be on the lookout for this. I already know that this is a huge issue in many churches, and it has continued to be an issue in our church, as well as the college group at various times.
You are not even safe in church it appears…..So read this at your own discretion, and I apologize for some of the context of the article. But I think people need to be aware that this happens a lot in church, and I think women need to especially take some pre-cautions.
How To: Score in Church
The pews are packed with heavenly bodies. God bless you.
Maxim, September 2005
1. Find Your Faith
Macking in a holy place is easier than almost anywhere else-the good girls never see it coming. Plus, “every girl wants to tell her father she met her boyfriend at church and not at a bar,” says God-fearing cutie Erin Howard, 25. Look for progressive sanctuaries that offer “contemporary” services (to attract a younger, hipper crowd) and coffee hours (so you can actually talk, as opposed to just ogling from afar).
2. Enter the Kingdom
Scope out the finest churchgoer, then snag the pew in front of her. You won’t appear too eager, yet you can make eye contact easily-and shake her hand if there’s a “sharing of the peace.” Avoid making moves mid-service. “You’re in a place of bloody worship; you have to be respectful,” notes Tracey Cox, author of Superdate. Instead, listen to the sermon, which’ll give you plenty to talk about later.
3. Get Religion
Despite the communion wine, forget your sloppy bar tactics. After the service, just introduce yourself and act genuinely curious about the church. Say, “I’m new here. Are you a regular?” This’ll transition to the coffee hour, where you can quiz her about the service and how she ended up there. If all else fails, say something about looking for a higher meaning in life. She may make it her goal to “convert” you.
4. Reach the Promised Land
At this point patience is key. “A lot of repressed religious girls are damn hot in bed,” notes Cox. “But you’re not getting a quick shag here.” Provided she’s sending positive signals (e.g., laughing, smiling, not making the sign of the cross), simply tell her you’d love to meet up, outside of church, and ask for her digits. And no matter where it goes from there, try to think like the Browns do: There’s always next Sunday
I'm a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (MDiv, MSMFT, LMFT), and co-facilitate marriage intensives. I also love to write, speak, and run.
Author of The Anxious Christian which is tentatively slated to be published by Moody Publishers on March 1, 2012.
To schedule a counseling appointment contact Auxano Counseling at 972-312-8893.
